Dumper breaks NC for foolish things what does it means? still hurts a lot

[Bandit32]

i ve been dumped by my 11year GF, in the past october, she always insisted in being friends, but i told her that was impossible, then she always called and texted, but it stoped in january, then today out of the blue, she texts again, but to ask me stupid things if i could help her whit, buying stuff at ebay... and all the healing felt like gone, then she told me that she didnt contacted me in the past times to give me time to heal and give me space bla bla bla and now she is back again, giving no importance to the fact that we are separated of a 11 year relationship, and this is hurting like hell in my side...Christ 11 years are not forgotten in 2 or 3months we grow up together errrr

 

what does she want? could this be an excuse to get near me again or simply because i use ebay better than she

 

shes over the relationship from the begging judging by her reactions and her friends opinion so why bother me who is still in the hole

[EgoJoe]

Did you respond?

[lustrous]

She might miss you on some level, and wants an excuse to check in and talk to you. Any of her ebay questions could be solved with a google search. If you are not ready for contact, you are not obligated to answer her questions or talk to her. You are no longer a couple. It sounds to me like you need to tell her you want no contact for a bit longer. Do what you have to do to move forward. Good luck to you!

[Hollyj]

Attention.

 

Why don't you block???

[robintoronto]

To be honest - what she's doing, is thinking or want from you isn't important. You owe her jack all.

 

Take control of the situation. The only person that matters right now is you. A 100% you. Heal first and then deal with her later. And I promise you, even halfway before you fully heal, you will know exactly how to handle and deal with this chick.

[EgoJoe]

If you haven't responded, please, just say, "No." very short and simple. Get in the habit of telling her, "No, I don't know, Maybe, Busy."

 

For a chick who is as oblivious as she is...that will stop the contact. She turns to you because you're familiar. She wants to use your brain and energy like she used to. Double cake action. Consider it FNC, Fake No Contact. Read the message as far as necessary to determine what from the list of things I gave you is appropriate. The maybe's are for the emotional questions she may ask you.

[toby17]

She doesn't want to get back together. She misses you and seeing you for things like buying stuff at ebay will give her a temporary bandit hit, but that's all she wants and needs.

 

If I were in your place again, this is what I'd write back:

 

11 years are not forgotten in 2 or 3 months. it's not up to you to decide when I'm done healing. when you left you made the decision not to be together. if you feel the need to spend time with me, you should really ask yourself why. tell me, what's in it for me?

[octour]

I agree with toby. But at the end of that, I would put "Absolutely nothing as far as I can tell."

[Bandit32]

i did respond to her... damn i cant avoid it i love her, we chated a bit nothing deep, and then she asked if i could help her and i told her i wasnt at home...she told me dont mind i will buy something... goodbye and that was it

 

i wish i was like in the beginning , she called i didnt answer and turn off the phone for 3 days and when i turned on had messages and phone calls, now its quite the opposite, that is probably why i responded

 

wish i didnt love that girl damn

 

a friend of mine... told me my friend i will be hard on u, you will suffer even more, and you will feel nothing in 4 / 5years, until then it will hurt less less, depending if she gets another guy or you get another girl, you will also pass for the phase of dreams and good memories only, and guess what im there... and now whit valentines day doesnt help a bit

[EgoJoe]

Start telling her NO, don't explain yourself to her. It is best if you get a text asking for something and you immediately respond with, "No".