my messed up relationships

[dnsking]

ok for its been a year an a few months since the break up to the only person i was ever in love with. now im talking to someone who is beautiful and gets alot of attention from guys but i just dont feel it personality wise. meanwhile for a year my ex calls me all the time when her man is not around and we see each other for 30 min every 3 months or so, i usually go see her. she calls me whever she can and she tells me she loves me all the time and one day wants to have a kid with me. she has never told her current bf that she loves him. they are fighting alot and she told him she will leave him if he continues to be the way he is. i think she wont she has a history of doing anything for guys who dont treat her right. so she sees me yesterday and right away as soon as i saw her and how beautiful she still looked i knew 110% i wanted her back right there and then. she looked at me with the i miss you so much look, which she told me she does misss me so much. when i was there her bf calls her, so i told her im going she told me to wait which i did, so we talked for another 20 min or so and i hugged her, i was shaking when i hugged her, that never happeneded to me before, she even noticed it but i brushed it off like what u talking about. so ever we were done talking i tried to leave with pride and im like im out bye and peace and i left. 5 min later my phone rings its her, but i was on the phone with someone else, so while on the phone she calls me 10 times and leaves a mesg, she was so concerened that i somehow was mad at her because of the way i left. i call her back i told her your're my friend thats how i treats friends when i leave, i wanted to kiss u goodbye but i cant. one thing lead to another and we started to fight, 4 calls later and a couple of hang ups LOL we settle the problem. 40 min later she calls me to tell me how really really good i looked. she never compliments me cause she tells me i have a big head but she was kissing my a** so much unlike the past. she is having problems with her bf but shes the type where she really really like to be with losers, not that im just saying this he really is a loser. it sucks cause her relationship sucks but she wont walk away from it. she doesnt see me enough to get motivaded to leave him and be with me. i have been friends with her for a year, its hard to be friends but to me its worth it, we love each other but its so empty without being with each other. it sucks because the girl i talk to now is everything alot of guys would want but my thoughts are always with my ex. i mean im VERY happy right now but a piece is missing in my life and its her. she will go from "when we have a kid together..." to " i cant tell the future and what will happen to us". she has told me how sorry she was for leaving me and i accept that. i just dont tell this at all, shes misrrable, she has told me this when she fights and is mad at him, she hates living with him and wants to move out, but she always sticks around. i know she hates her life right now, she cant go out alone doesnt do anything hes got her trapped, but she makes me mad cause im here and she doesnt take the chance like im willing to take. i tell her i missed her more, she tells me i have no idea how she feels inside how much she misses me, but i feel like i try harder with us. i wonder what will happen to us, i do know one thing shes not perfect but i love her and i havent found someone who can replace her. my life is great execpt for the last piece in the puzzle and its her. i want her back but at the same time IF and once the break up i know i cant just take her back right away, and i wont, i want her to learn a lesson and to try as hard as i did and feel as i did, if this is to happen i would def be the happiest person on earth. i still cant believe my whole body shook the way it did when i hugged her, i been around alot of girls and it has never dont that before, i left so weak because i know the ball is in her court, i love the girl so damn much, how can someone like me who gets girls, is talking to a beautiful girl just get like that. damn i hope this turns out the way i want it to turn out, a year ans a few months apart we still talk and love each other, i hope this is meant to be.

 

thanks for reading and i dont know if you have similar situations and how did it turn out!!?

[if only]

This is going to sound really harsh and so im saying sorry up front.

 

1) I really don't think she loves you anymore not intimately anyway, maybe as a friend, if she did love you she would be with you.

 

2) She is playing games with your head..one minute she wants you in her future, next she doesn't know if you have a future together?! what's that all about!!

 

3) She is stringing you along in case something better doesn't happen, sounds to me she is a bit insecure and needs someone to give her the extra boost her current BF isn't.

 

4) its been a year and a half and she hasn't realised she wants you back, face it she wont ever want you back, you are still in her life as a friend and she has a new BF who you think is just her type. She has it made.

 

The list is endless, im sorry I know its hard but I really think you need to break all ties with this girl, it hasn't done you any good to stay friends you still aren't over her.

 

How can you begin to even like this new girl when your heart belongs to someone else? If it had been a year and you hadn't talked then maybe you would have feelings for this new girl?