I'm so worried about my little sister...

[why]

hello, I'm really worried about my little sister whose just turned 16. I've just found out that she cuts herself. The ironic thing is that she has alsways been regarded as the most successful and 'lucky' out of us four sisters. I'm so worried about her. I think it may be due to the group she hangs around with at the school, and my other younger sister thinks its just a 'fad' and she'll grow out of it, but I just want to get through to her and show her how wonderful she is and that she can talk to her family. I've also found out that she's slept with her boyfriend and I know if my mum found out she would be so angry, seeing as my parents are strong catholics and thought thismay be why she is harming??I don't understnad why people do it and I would really appreciate some help understanding, thank you so much xxxx

[Finchabald]

ok. first of all dont worry. cutting is very normal and millions of people do it worldwide, including me. You need to tell your sister that you are there for here but dont force her to do anything. you want to be a friend to her. Maybe if she is willing to talk to you about it you should ask her about her boyfriend. it might be that she doesn't want to be catholic and your parents should accept that. Cutting regularly happens to people who are intelligent. im afraid i dont know why. You want to make sure that she isn't having any suicidal feelings. You also want to take a look at her cuts. if you think they need medical attention then make sure she gets it.

 

As for reasons for cutting, i know a few. I myself cut because i hav emotional problems. i feel dead. like i hav no emotions. cutting makes me feel alive. if you need ne more help pls contact me. let me know how she gets on.

[mymelancholysoul]

I have to disagree with my mate above this post. Cutting is not by any means OKAY! I am a cutter of four years, going on five. Cutting is dangerous, stupid, wrong, and addictive. Once a cutter makes the first incision, it is nearly impossible to stop alone. Many have tried, failed, and have become so discouraged that they are worse off now than before. This is not to say that one cannot stop on their own, just that it is quite difficult. Your sister really needs to know that there is help out there for her and that she should not feel ashamed to come to you about it. Keep the lines of communication open and don't be afraid to tell her you are concerned. Whatever you do, do not ask your younger sister to stop for you. She may promise not to ever cut again, but it will soon be broken when the stress begins to boil over. Cutting is not a fad or a joke, it is a mental and physical issue that effects millions of people world wide. I opt for aiding your sister in recieving the help she deserves. If she speaks to a psychologist and brings up the sex, the doctor will not have to tell your parents. Again, keep the lines of communication open, let her know that you are concerned, and remember how dangerous this really is. As for her friends, I would keep a close eye on them but do not say she cannot hang out with them because that will just make her want to be with them more. Finally, as for reasons for cutting...there are many. Some are pressured so much that they feel their only way to cope is through cutting. Your sister might feel pressured to meet the expectations of the family and her school. Emotional stress, emotional/physical/verbal/sexual abuse are also triggers. The reasons are there but sometimes seem unclear, however there is no good reason to harm yourself. Take this from someone who's manic depressive and a four year plus cutter, its dangerous and the situation should not be taken lightly. Please, feel free to contact me whenever. Best of luck to you, your sister, and your family.

[u know it]

maybe shes pregnant and worried about what her paernts might do when they find out

[i_hate_the_world47]

To finchbald,cutting isnt OKAY

 

To why?,you sister is lucky to have someone like you.I would suggest actually sitting down and talking to your sister.Tell her how your scared and that you are there for her.Unfortunately,you cant make her stop.She has to want to stop.But,if you talk to her then maybe she will feel better talking to you about things instead of cutting.But,what ever you do you have to do soon.Cutting is addictive,the longer she cuts the harder it wil be to quit.Good luck and if you need to talk anytime feel free to Pm me.

 

~meagan~

[why]

Thank you all so much for the advice. I tried to bring it u with my sister last night but she just completely closes off! i'm going back to univeristy in about 2 weeks but my other sister (older than my sister self harming) is still living at home and I don't know how she's going to cope with my little sister and her 'issues' on her own! is there anyhing I can do whilst I'm away to help my sister? thank you xxx

[mymelancholysoul]

Again, keep the lines of communication open and flowing. Your sister may not want to admit to you or herself that there is a problem. You know, or at least I hope you do, that what she is doing is a dangerous problem. Help your sister get the help she needs and deserves before the cutting goes too far. Trust me, there are higher waters ahead and if she doesn't pull out soon things could become more complicated. Don't take no for an answer when it comes to cutting because sometimes it takes a little tough love to get someone talking. Cutting is not a bad habit and it is barely even a choice after awhile; it becomes a lifestyle. Keep communication up and if the problem persists without getting better, then she may be out of your hands and a higher authority may need to be contacted. She may "hate" you for awhile, but at least she will be getting better and understanding that what she is doing is wrong. I have been cutting for nearly five years and I know the grip it takes on a person, I just want your sister to get out before the water rises. Contact me anytime if you so wish.

---->Nikki

[Finchabald]

cutting is a way of coping with stress. if it helps you deal with it then it is ok. because if ur telling me that my cutting is not ok then maybe my therapist who is one of the best in the country is wrong. IF IT WORKS IT IS OK.

[i_hate_the_world47]

Finchabald,Just because something works doesnt mean its ok.Everything that works isnt ok.Maybe you just misunderstood your therapist. have been to many and not one have told me my cutting was ok.

 

~Meagan~

[Prezkot]

Yeah, I can't imagine any therapist in their right minds condoning cutting in any shape or form.

 

Cutting is not right in any situation... even for you Finchabald

[i_hate_the_world47]

Thank you prezcot for agreeing with me.Its nice to know someone else catches my drift.

 

~Meagan~

[Finchabald]

i did not understand her wrong. Fine... then tell me what else is wrong that helps someone

[i_hate_the_world47]

Finchabald,i understansd that cutting may help you,thereforeeee you consider it right.But,this cutting addiction can hurt you.Other things that help but hurt are things such as drugs such as marijuana.This helps calm you down,so it helps you.But it is also bad for you.

 

~Meagan~

[Finchabald]

fair call but what harm does cutting or scratching do in the end?

[i_hate_the_world47]

Finchabal,if you would like to talk to me pm me.I am not going to argue with you on someone's topic for help.

 

~Meagan~

[Prezkot]

fair call but what harm does cutting or scratching do in the end?

 

Well I'm no expert on cutting, but I assume it leaves scars, not unlike a drug user's "tracks", not to mention the emotional grief it shoulders onto the people around you.

 

Plus, I assume if you accidentally cut too deep, you'll really damage your nerves and/or seriously bleed worse than you do normally.

 

Yeah, PM me I guess... sorry topic poster!

[Finchabald]

im sori. and sori for the argument on your message for help.