Boyfriend asked me if I'm a lesbian - maybe I am?

[Rockymountainhigh]

I've been living with my boyfriend who I like a lot (love) for about the last seven months. I really like him and I think he's really cute. But I've always struggled with feelings for women that until recently I've never been to comfortable to admit. I know people often assume I'm gay, because I used to be a semi-pro athlete and there are a lot of lesbians in my sport. Even my boyfriend when we first got together told me that he thought for the longest time I was gay. I like going out to bars and sometimes I do get a little loaded. I went out the other night with a friend from my work and I guess I admitted I was attracted to her or even made a move on her - I honestly am not sure. She is gay and she has been askng me about every since. I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend about it, and I thought he would be supportive. But instead he said "I always wondered if you were, and I'm not surprised by this." We have sort of cooled off a little since then, which totally upsets me, because I don't want to lose him. But I can't stop thinking about if it's true. In the meantime, my co-worker friend keeps saying that my boyfriend is the perfect person for someone who can't come out, because technically speaking he's still married, so there's no real possibility of getting seriously involved with him. I just don;t know what to do. I don;t want to lose my boyfriend but he says he feels somewhat deceived by me. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be gay or if I even want to!

[EricOleksik]

have you ever thought that you may just be bisexual... if ur attracted to women and you love your BOYfriend (which also means you have attraction toward him) u may be bisexual. u may look at this as a bad thing... but also look at it this way... you could make every mans fantasy come true... 2 WOMEN IN BED!!!

[Day_Walker]

I dont believe that being gay or straight is an issue that is black and white. Certain people are open to things that could be considered gay while other are only open to things that are typically thought of as heterosexual. I believe that you need to figure things out for yourself. If you feel that you are gay and you are attracted to women then go that route but if you feel that you are attracted to men then you should go that way. Bisexuality is the other option but I dont see it as emotionally healthy. Which ever one your sexual preference you owe it to yourself to find out what your sexual preference is.

[i_hate_the_world47]

Well,i dont think your a lesbian,but you may be bi.There is nothing wrong with that,but it also sounds like your b/f doesnt except that.I would suggest talkng to him and if he isnt ok with it,then you to should consider if this relationship is going to go any firther.Good luck.

 

~meagan~

[nothingontheinside]

im guessing the sport u played is softball? *sorry totally off topic but that is a widly discriminated against sport sexually and i play*

umm ya i definitely think you ARE bisexual... people are saying, ya maybe u r, i just think u r. thats just me tho.

ya hope this helped if not sorry

 

ness

[Cadence308]

I'm sorry, it wasn't clear to me if you admitted to your woman friend from work that you are attracted to her and you guys did something physical? Like did you actually cheat on your boyfriend or just tell your friend that you find her attractive? If you didn't cheat on your boyfriend, but were honest with him about your attraction to women I don't see anything wrong with your being honest. It seems like so many people post on this site that they just found out their boy or girl is gay and want help with that.

 

It sounds to me like you may be bi-sexual. Have you dated many men in the past and had serious relationships with them? Have your parents asked you if you were gay? I'm just now coming to the realization that I'm bi-sexual. I have never had many serious boyfriends, although I have gone out on dates with a lot of men. My parents have been asking since I was 19 if I'm gay. I haven't came out, yet. My close friends are female and I just feel more emotionally connected to females so I may actually be a lesbian. You may decide this too.

 

Maybe it might be best to cool things off with your boyfriend for a while if you are bi-curious and try playing the field (with the softball team; no pun intended). LOL If your attraction to your female friend is intense and you have sexual feelings towards her you might want to pursue it. On the other hand, it sounds like she's trying to break up your relationship with your boyfriend. You need to decide what you want and if you don't know, try exploring. I haven't been with a woman yet, but I heard the foreplay never stops. Who can resist! ;-)