Urgent dating question!!!!!!!

[Swatchwatch]

This isn't a question about BEING gay, but since I AM I put it here because I want the advice of other gay people/gay friendly people. It's a dating question and I'd LOVE to hear what other people think of this issue! It's LONG but I REALLY need advice on this!!! I went on a blind date a month ago (I knew what he looked like, he didn't know what I looked like) He was a little skeptical and nervous that I'd be a dud. Well we went on the date and the guy was openly thrilled. He would not shut up about how impressed he was with my looks and personality. He said he was SO glad he decided to go on the date and it was HIM that insisted on a second date (I thought he was good looking and a great guy too) Our second date was better than the first and he gushed about how happy he was that I was "hot" and a genuinely great guy. We fooled around that night and not to sound like a broken record, but he went ON and ON about how great that was too! So I was feeling really great about my awesome potential new relationship...when suddenly, after our second wonderful date..IT started. And by IT I mean I would call or e-mail about planning a 3rd date and he would go DAYS without a response. I hate to sound concieted, but I honestly thought my cell phone would be ringing off the hook with this guy eager for our 3rd date. When I finally heard from him three days later his e-mail just said "I guess I'm free this evening. You can stop by if you want" (talk about apathetic!) So that evening I called and he seemed just as uninterested. He once again said "Yea...I guess you can come over if you REALLY want" (As if our attraction was one-sided) So I went over and we watched a movie...suddenly he was back to his old self...he was all affectionate and laughed at all my jokes and once again went on about how glad he was that I stopped by and how much fun I was and how he thought tonight would be "just another night of TV" but I made his night fun and exciting. So then things moved into the bedroom and I don't have to tell you what went on there...and believe me, the guy was NOT disappointed. Even I was impressed with myself. He said it was "Phenomenal sex" and I was "so hot" and blah blah blah same old wonderful compliments. Even as I was leaving he was thanking me all the way out the door and told me to definitely e-mail him. I left thinking all that "not calling" nonesense was OVER and that I'd love to see this guy on a regular basis. I was really excited about maybe starting a relationship...and then IT happened again!!! I e-mailed him to say what a great time I had and how we should definitely plan another date. A solid WEEK went by with no response! I e-mailed again and when he finally replied he said "I have plans. You can stop by tomorrow evening I guess." (AGAIN with the "I don't care" attitude!) So I called and left a message the next day saying we should meet up again....no call back...It's now been 2 weeks since that "Phenomenal" night and I have never heard from him again! It's over! I'm so annoyed I wouldn't even WANT to see him if he finally calls or e-mails. My big BURNING question is WHY???? It makes NO sense!!! According to HIM I had the LOOKS, the PERSONALITY, the BEDROOM abilities, The sense of humor...heck, he said I had EVERYTHING. Not to gross everyone out but he even said I had a huge u-no-what! Who would walk away from all that??? I'm not even saying I am that great, but HE thought it... and then he fell off the face of the earth. He'd tell me to call and e-mail and when I did NO response. If I'm getting good sex with a hot guy with a great personality, the last thing I'm going to do is let it end! What do you guys think? I'm so annoyed because I really liked the guy and I think I still do. What should I do? What do you think his problem is? (and I know He's not married or dating anyone else because I met his brothers and sisters and a few of his friends and they confirmed he's 100% single) I also know he's still around because he doesn't live too far away. If he was busy or had some reason the least he could do is e-mail to say "I'm really busy" but this silence is killing me!

[Cadence308]

Wow, dude, I'm really sorry. That's really crappy. I have no idea as to why your date who was so into you did that. Maybe he has commitment issues, maybe he has issues with his sexuality and being gay, maybe he was so into you he got scared and decided to call it quits, or maybe if you weren't that verbal with him about what you thought of him like telling him how good looking and funny he is and how big, then maybe he thought that you were just calling or emailing because he asked you to. Is there any way you can call this guy and say, "Listen, I haven't heard from you in 2 weeks. I really like you and had fun on all of our dates, but I haven't heard from you. You said that I was so great and I'm wondering what went wrong and why you no longer seem interested in me." The worst he can do is hang up on you. I think if you are still into this guy and really want to know what happened that you should approach him about it. I mean, you've both seen each others' beeps so you know there had to be interest at some point. LOL ;-)

[Swatchwatch]

Thanks for that reply! I literally burst out laughing at the last line!!! I really want to do what you suggested about calling and asking what the deal is...but I have to get up the nerve. I keep thinking I'll look 'deperate' if I ask him why he stopped talking to me. I'm also afraid of what the answer might be.

[Cadence308]

I don't think it sounds desperate at all. Hell, you guys slept together. If you sound desperate now then what makes you think you were any less desperate when you slept together?? And it's been 2 weeks. I could see if you were stalker guy and emailing this guy 5 times a day and calling morning, afternoon, and evening, but you aren't. It's been 2 weeks since you had any contact at all, according to your email. I don't know if I could have waited 1 week if I was that into someone. Call him and tell me what happens! You have nothing to lose at this point...well, maybe a little pride...

[Day_Walker]

It sounds like this guy is the type of person that gets caught up in the moment and says whatever random things pop into his head. I wouldnt take what he says to heart since it doesnt seem to be ginuine. I would move on this guy seems to be flaky and not the kind of person you need to be involved with. It is best if you move on and look for something better.

[Jake212]

I agree with day -walker, cut your losses and maybe be a little thankful. Red flags should be poping up left and right because this guy sounds like a player. I doubt you will hear from him but be careful if you do, seems like he's into games.

[Swatchwatch]

All you guys are right! Thanks! "Flaky" is definitely the word and he is totally playing games! I know he uses an online dating service, and before we started our thing he was talking to guys online, so he's probably dating quite a few guys. I'm still baffled because He actually said he's "not into games" and likes "Honest genuine" people. But he's not being that himself! Plus he lives with his sister and she once made a coment that I was the only guy that has been to their apartment in weeks. I guess he's playing the field, but I wish he wouldn't have made me feel like I was the only one! If/when he ever calls or writes I'm going to take that advice and ask him what his problem is!

[Jake212]

Its difficult to take what people say in the heat of the moment as what they are really feeling espeically after you just met and get into a physical "relationship". Its happened to me where one moment they totally love you after we just met, then the next morning its off to someone else.

The key is to realize is that after meeting someone and falling for them its more infatuation than anything else. Love and true feelings take time to develop.

[Swatchwatch]

I actually found some stuff out...It turns out he is dating guys from the online dating service he uses. I guess he's 'testing the waters' but it would be nice if he had told me that!

[Jake212]

kind of shows what kind of person he is for not telling you that, you deserve better.