Why is Dating so Complicated?!

[VtecQueen]

I have been single for the past 3 years. I'm really ready to meet someone and start something special with them. I am beyond fustrated with the guys I run into. There's one I can't stop thinking about, I guess I want what I can't have.

 

We will call him T. I met T in OCTOBER it is now JANUARY. I have only hung out with him TWICE since OCTOBER. I went off on him because he is wasting my time. He calls/texts me all the time, we have good convo. But every time I invite him out or suggest to hang he says "I'm cool" "I'm good" I got fed up and went off.

 

We have not had sex, kissed, or even held hands yet so its not the sex. I just don't understand his MO. Why are u talking to me all the time but never want to hang. I've suggested free stuff too. Its fustrating. I know I need to toss him but I can't shake him. And he sticks around. I have given him nothing!!! Most guys would have been deleted me and moved on.

 

So I'm just confused with this guy. Anyone know what I'm talking about??

[Jerrzoow]

Perhaps he just enjoys the attention. I have a friend that has girls swooning over him constantly. I know 3 girls who are infatuated with him. He knows it, I know it, but he isn't interested in any of them. I don't know why he maintains contact with them, but I've never asked. I don't want to say he's leading them on, but I honestly don't know what they all talk about.

[doyathink]

Have you asked him why he never wants to hang out?

[doiiiieeezie]

Stop talking to him as much and see what happens... also when you do speak with him, keep it short and then invite him to hang out.

[offplanet]

It certainly sounds like a waste of you time to be thinking of him. He sounds like he would mess with your head. I don't like people like that. I can't see the point of it. If he was into you, he'd want to spend time with you. You might never find out what his deal is, but you will definitely find out that he will cause you unnecessary anguish if you continue with him. I wouldn't bother trying to win him by backing off. I would just back off full stop. It might not be any big mystery, he might just like the attention. Don't let it be at the expense of your peace of mind and self esteem.

[doyathink]

It certainly sounds like a waste of you time to be thinking of him. He sounds like he would mess with your head. I don't like people like that. I can't see the point of it. If he was into you, he'd want to spend time with you. You might never find out what his deal is, but you will definitely find out that he will cause you unnecessary anguish if you continue with him. I wouldn't bother trying to win him by backing off. I would just back off full stop. It might not be any big mystery, he might just like the attention. Don't let it be at the expense of your peace of mind and self esteem.

 

Wise words! I'd agree

[Thorshammer]

I do this sometimes, its basically because there is no commitment. I am in-between people I am dating and my card is full, or (as of recently) i lose the desire to put the effort into meeting someone new. If the person doesnt like it they can leave. I also like to keep girls as friends, so i dont give them too much attention that leads them on.

 

I agree with lowering the frequency of contact. Dont pull him anymore, push him away, and observe how he reacts from then on.

[Chandra]

Dating takes a lot of self-awareness and ability to read other people.

 

Know yourself.

Know your feelings.

Know your motives.

Know your opinions.

Know human nature and read others reactions

 

Those who can master these things will have a lot more success... they will understand much more what is happening and not be drawn by those who would use them, and will not use others. No one is perfect though.