How to break up with someone I love?

[SmilingKatty]

Guys, please help. I am terribly unhappy in a relationship (I am not even sure, that it still is any kind of "relationship"). I love him dearly, but he is making me unhappy with not being interested in me enough anymore. He does not love me anymore.

 

I gave him so many chances, because I just could not believe, that we are not right together.

 

But we are not. I know that now. So how do I end things? How do I get the courrage to say it and then not be terribly sorry, that thare is no more hope and that it has been me, who has killed it?

[SapphireNoir10]

You tell him that you are no longer happy in the relationship and feel that you are both no longer happy, and it is not working. That you feel he's lost interest/love and you need to be in a loving/happy relationship.

 

IT sounds like your doing the right thing, if you've given it a chance, and it's still not working, yes it'll hurt, but can you see yourself being miserable for the rest of your life?

[Raaawr]

Guys, please help. I am terribly unhappy in a relationship (I am not even sure, that it still is any kind of "relationship"). I love him dearly, but he is making me unhappy with not being interested in me enough anymore. He does not love me anymore.

 

I gave him so many chances, because I just could not believe, that we are not right together.

 

But we are not. I know that now. So how do I end things? How do I get the courrage to say it and then not be terribly sorry, that thare is no more hope and that it has been me, who has killed it?

 

Hi there!

 

Well first I am glad you have put alot of thought into this. Second, there is no easy way to end a relationship. It will be hard for him to hear and it will be hard for you to say.

 

The best thing you can do (coming from someone who was sort of dumped but not really and then given false hope only to actually be dumped 2 weeks later after stressing myself out for a solid 2 weeks) is be completely honest and firm. Do not leave any room what so ever for him to have false hope. Sit down with him, tell him the relationship is not working for you. He may plead and beg or he may be completely nice and understanding about it. His reaction does not matter, you are doing this because you feel it is the best thing do. Calmly tell him that there is nothing he can do and say and that you are sorry but you want and need to end things and that are you absolutely sure of your decision.

 

Please do not be doubtful, do not leave room for him to hope. End it with a clean cut. My ex didnt do that and for 2 weeks I barely ate or slept because I was stressing myself out about trying to fix something that could never have been fixed. So be clear! It is the kindest thing.

[SmilingKatty]

Thank you for the replies.

 

You know, the question is not how to do it. The problem is, that I am not strong enought to do it. Any promise he would make could change my decision. I have tried to do this once, but I saw him and just couldn´t say the word "break-up" while speaking with him.

 

Somewhere deep inside me I still hope for him to change and to promise and make everything OK again. But I know, that this just prolongs my unhappiness.

 

Crazy love and hope. How long will it take to get rid of the hope...?

[RKO]

This is something I had to do this weekend.

 

My advice for what its worth - Make sure your decision is right - Stick to it - Dont let begging get in the way - Be strong - Trust me, you will feel 10 times better after it. Sad its over and youve upset someone but your personal happiness is paramount.

 

finally - if thats you in the picture.... you will be not short of offers!