Need closure

[simonsays]

I love my girlfriend dearly. been with her for 5 yrs and I am looking to propose soon.For the last 3 weeks I've been hanging out with a female coworker. we are just friends and I knew nothing would happen, however I made this dumb mistake of telling her that I was tempted to kiss her which I regret saying. We spoke about it and she said she cherished our friendship which I 100% agree with however in that moment I admitted that there was some attraction. what really bothers me is that:

a: I regret saying I wanted to kiss her

b: admitting that there was some attraction or infatuation.

This is really bothering the hell out of me cause I didn't want her to know none of this and I also didn't want to know how she felt about me. Now that she knows it makes me really uncomfortable and I can't seem to get over it.

[DylanNotorious]

I feel no sympathy for you sorry. Go back and re-read what you've written. Your practically emotionally cheating on your girlfriend.

[simonsays]

im not asking for sympathy. I know what I did was wrong and I also put a stop to this.

[Fudgie]

Cut all contact with the co-worker, come clean with your girlfriend.

[bulletproof]

I feel no sympathy for you sorry. Go back and re-read what you've written. Your practically emotionally cheating on your girlfriend.

 

I think this is a bit extreme. I think lots of people have felt that they wanted to kiss someone outside of their relationship. He was just honest about it, and he didn't do it. That's a far cry from emotionally cheating.

 

OP, I don't think there is anything that will bring you closure. That's sort of a myth, in my opinion. You have to accept that you told her, and it's done and you can't change it.

[Leya]

If you love your girlfriend dearly, cut off all ties with this other girl. You can no longer be around her. I am not going to be naive and think that my Guy will never ever feel physical attraction for some other woman...but I DO expect that he will keep it/her at a distance. You shouldn't have said that to her, yes. And now it's ruined the so-called friendship. But if you love your girlfriend, move on. Leave this other woman behind. WHo is more important to you???

And in the future, I don't think it's wise to pursue a friendship with the opposite gender if you find you really want to kiss them. That is just playing with fire! Don't do it! Remind yourself who is the most important woman in your life...

[RitaTrue]

If you love your girlfriend dearly, cut off all ties with this other girl. You can no longer be around her. I am not going to be naive and think that my Guy will never ever feel physical attraction for some other woman...but I DO expect that he will keep it/her at a distance. You shouldn't have said that to her, yes. And now it's ruined the so-called friendship. But if you love your girlfriend, move on. Leave this other woman behind. WHo is more important to you???

And in the future, I don't think it's wise to pursue a friendship with the opposite gender if you find you really want to kiss them. That is just playing with fire! Don't do it! Remind yourself who is the most important woman in your life...

 

THIS.

 

Word. For. Word.

[RitaTrue]

I have a feeling OP's going to keep * * * * * ing about his feelings, while he keeps seeing the other girl. Lol.

[simonsays]

Listen i made a big mistake which i really regret. I was happy with just being friends with her. I was told to keep my distance with her which i am trying but it is extremely hard to do since we work on the same floor and deal with the same people. She is really giving me the cold shoulder and i am having a hard time dealing with it but i really feel like i'm being punished (rightfully so). I'm actually afraid to speak to her now because the situation is akward.

[RitaTrue]

Listen i made a big mistake which i really regret. I was happy with just being friends with her. I was told to keep my distance with her which i am trying but it is extremely hard to do since we work on the same floor and deal with the same people. She is really giving me the cold shoulder and i am having a hard time dealing with it but i really feel like i'm being punished (rightfully so). I'm actually afraid to speak to her now because the situation is akward.

 

Something struck me yesterday, as your situation ran accross my mind. And I wanted to ask you something:

 

First, you say that you've been with your girlfriend for 5 years and are PLANNING to propose.

 

But, that after less than a month of knowing your co-worker, you tell her that you're tempted to kiss her and admitted to being physically attracted to her.

 

Although I do think that you owe it to the fidelity of your relationship to put your coworker on hold, I also think you need to explore what you're really looking for in a wife and marriage. I say this because, after being with someone for 5 years--5 YEARS--you should have a clear grasp on what you want and if they're the one for you. If you've been with her for 5 years, and your relationship hasnt progressed further than that by now (outside of choice to, for instance, advance your education before getting married) than you need to do some serious soul searching.

 

To me, telling another woman that you barely know--especially in contrast to how long you've known your girlfriend---that you want to kiss them, and then to tell us that you're attracted to her, tells me that you need to make a double take as to whether your girlfriend is the one you really want to spend your life with. Furthermore, to be so troubled by what you've done, further shows that you do have real feelings for her. Feelings that you're trying to ignore. It'd be better this issue within yourself, than to get married to your girlfriend, while you still have feelings for someone else. Or worse, to get married and keep thinking "what if".

 

Or even worse than THAT: cheat on her.

 

Do some soul searching OP: Is your girlfriend, really truly in your heart, the one you want to marry?