avril1985 Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 My ex boyfriendand broke up with me a year ago. He wrote me a poem and mailed me he still misses me as a friend and thinks about the breakup a lot.... But he's now with another girl and lives together with her, and it's very painfull for me cause i still love him so much and i want us to be together. My questions are: Since he still has feelings for me, will there be a change he will come back to me when i let him know i still really really love him and i regret a lot of things that happened in our relationship? Or will it make no difference for him to know that i can see why things went wrong and that i show him that i am changed a lot since the break up? Can i touch his feelings again by also writing him a poem back? Or will he never come back and is it just friendship or will the love he has now be a lot stronger then our love?? cause i know he still cares for me and misses me.......... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No! He is in love with another. They are committed, leave it alone! Do you want to be his something on the side? He should not have sent that message, as it seems like he is looking for an ego stroke, as he knows he is screwing with your emotions. The only way you are going to move on from this is to go strict NC. I would also ask, how would you feel if an ex girlfriend tried to interfere with your relationship, as it is a pretty low thing to do. Please move on! Link to comment
Dezireey Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 You need to re-read the start of your post ....... He says he misses you as a friend. Hmmmm If I were you and I felt that way about him, I really wouldn't risk it and open that wound of yours and contact him. You could try if you are prepared for the worse. But please bear in mind there are only 3 scenarios that will come out of this and most of the time, it always no1 or no2 no1 - He agrees that he still loves you and strikes up a relationship with you again.....um, whilst still living with and sleeping with the woman he lives with no2- He does not respond or responds politely that he is with his other partner that he lives with and he loves her but still 'loves you' as a friend only no3 - He drops everything, finishes with this girl, leaves his home etc, etc and gambles on the fact that you two will definitely work out again Risky. I say you should only contact him (no poem!) if you can cope with the negatives and then move on. If his response is not the one you want and you know it would leave you devastated, I say leave well alone and move on, like he has. Link to comment
unknownfuture Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 No you don't need to mail the ex. You won't get the response you want and will feel worse. Unless you can handle being rejected, don't send it. Link to comment
FadedRose Posted December 11, 2011 Share Posted December 11, 2011 It sounds like he's moved on. What I might do is say something small about how you would like to try to make the relationship work but are unwilling to be just a friend. Link to comment
avril1985 Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 No! He is in love with another. They are committed, leave it alone! Do you want to be his something on the side? He should not have sent that message, as it seems like he is looking for an ego stroke, as he knows he is screwing with your emotions. The only way you are going to move on from this is to go strict NC. I would also ask, how would you feel if an ex girlfriend tried to interfere with your relationship, as it is a pretty low thing to do. Please move on! I want to leave them alone, but cause he's contacting me i still have hope. I know he thinks we will always be good friends cause weve always been good friends, but i can't just be friends at this point, maybe when i have a new boyfriend. I still can't let him go, cause my heart is telling me to have hope he and i will come back one day... the though of never seeing him again kills me...... I don't think he has bad intentions, its a very good and caring person so he's just caring for me, and i wonder if there is really no change he will come back if we have contact again. I still see his new relationship as a rebound since it started to soon after our break up... Link to comment
avril1985 Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 Thank you very much for your detailed advice! It really helps me to think clear about what i should do cause i really think i am losing my mind, i am obsessed with my ex Link to comment
avril1985 Posted December 11, 2011 Author Share Posted December 11, 2011 It sounds like he's moved on. What I might do is say something small about how you would like to try to make the relationship work but are unwilling to be just a friend. But when i loose him also as a friend we probably never see eachother again, and i don't want to loose him completely, you see some people can be friends again, i would miss him all my life i know for sure cause we shared some many things in life, so many good thoughts........ He said to me 6 months after the breakup when we saw eachother again that i really shoulden't have any hope cause he would never think of getting back together again... that was really painfull but i know he said that cause he wanted to make clear that for him it's not possible... so i think there's really no change unfortunely.... Link to comment
Dezireey Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 He said to me 6 months after the breakup when we saw eachother again that i really shoulden't have any hope cause he would never think of getting back together again... that was really painfull but i know he said that cause he wanted to make clear that for him it's not possible... so i think there's really no change unfortunely.... It's sad and hurtful but when your ex is quite clear about not wanting to get back together after some time has passed and he has also now moved in with someone else, there really is no future for you both. This is a scenario where you must make yourself move on. It sounds like you will always have a special place in his heart but that is all. Cherish the good memories and make new memories with someone else...and you will find someone else and be happy Link to comment
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