why does my ex wants to be friends???

[laverite1985]

Hi everyone,

 

My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost a year ago. We were together for 5 years.

Right after the break up he felt in love with another woman, he met on internet.

Now he lives together with his new girlfriend, 6 months after our break up he went to her country, She lives in South America.

Right after the break up he was telling me that he was very happy that he met her, and he hopes i will find another love also and will be happy...... but i am not cause i feel like i am never able to move on and find new love, it's hard cause he left so quick and why did he already moved to her country and why he's now mailing me asking me for friendship?...... i don't know what to think about his behaviour....

[arwen]

I think it's much harder to move on when you're in touch with the ex. This only works if it is not holding you back in any way. I always thought it was best to break all ties. My ex has contacted me on several occasions, but I was only really able to move on when I explicitly told him I wasn't interested in a friendship of any kind.

[figur]

He's being selfish. There's no way you need to be friends with someone that left you like that.

[utopie]

It is hard for both parties to just not have the other person as a part of your life especially when you've shared a life for 5 years. It feels unnatural to be without this person even if you're the one breaking it off. He doesn't want you as a partner and the only alternative for him is to have you as a friend which means companionship without attraction. 5 years is a long time. You are probably the person who knows him the best, he probably confided a lot in you and then the next day he's gone.

So yes it is selfish but it is also a very human thing to want you in his life.

But he is not the one that matters right now are. You have to be 'selfish' and do what feels right to you only, to heal yourself. If you can't be friends then don't do it. Cutting him off is probably what's best for you right now. You can be friends again in the future, when you have moved on and don't have any feelings for him anymore.

I certaily cannot be friends with my ex even though the BU (almost 3 months ago) was extremely civil and we'd been together for 3 years. He wanted me in his life but I said no because I'm the only one who matters. It might sound selfish but it is true are the one who matters the most to yourself.

Good luck laverite! You'll be fine no matter what life throws at your face