Pretty new to dating, also in recovery

[CNR]

Hey,

 

I'm in my early 30's and in a graduate program working on a doctoral degree. It's a small school with a total of about 1000 people. Its filled with beautiful women. I can't turn around without running into a woman who is just amazing. I've also quit drinking and drugging back in the summer and started going back to AA. I previously relapsed for 3 years.

 

I've been feeling a little lonely and I'm looking for a little female attention. It's been about a year since the last time I had sex or had a date.

 

I want to start going out again. I have less than a year left at school and then I plan on moving to the west coast after that. I'm really not looking for anything serious right now. I just want to graduate, move and work on building my career.

 

There's a few women that I want to take out. There's a least two who have shown some interest in me and there's a few others that I think might like me.

 

If all that I want is something casual am I obligated to tell any of these women that I'm an alcoholic?

[JumpRightIn]

If I met someone who was just looking for a "casual encounter" I would be more concerned with previous infectious diseases and less interested in their drinking problem. If you don't plan on any commitment I don't see any reason to disclose that sort of information.

[Rough night]

No there's none. You can go out with them and drink Sprite and if you feel obliged to lie, say you're hung over so saving your liver. That's if they ask. Go against player rules and buy them a drink or 2 and they won't really ask.

 

If you pick them up, then say you're driving so not gonna drink.

 

Lastly is go on dating sites like POF and answer you don't drink at all or whatever it is and search chicks in your age range you want to bang and message just them. It will limit your results but in initial message let them know you're alcoholic etc. and ones who are too will respond.

[betrayedgirl]

First, congrats on your recovery.

 

Now, as for dating and being in recovery ... . hmmmmmm ...

 

I think you should hold off dating for at least a year because you are the first priority in your recovery and to take care of yourself and stay clean for a long time.

 

I am speaking from my own experience.

 

I met a man in inpatient rehab, my counselor had advised me against that, and of course I didn't listen.

 

It jeopardized my recovery, because I relapsed 9 months later because he was still using and not commited to recovery. So I ended up using for 8 more years and then I realized I have had enough of this life and we broke up. We were together for almost 9 years. The relationship wasn't that good since my relapse because there were so much drama.

 

Please think about it and if you do decide to date, do so with caution.

 

Good luck in whatever you do.

[WhenWillILove]

I think that it's important you date and have sex with those women that aren't looking for anything serious either. If you get the vibe that a certain woman you are dating is looking for something serious like marriage, I would not have sex with her to later tell her, sorry, this was something casual.

 

Be direct with women. You're looking for something casual. And I'd honestly try sites like POF and OKCupid where you can actually state that: looking for casual dating. It's easier more direct, etc.

[OrangeMoon]

If its sex or an fwb you are looking for..go through sites for hookups you know..and stay safe..