mattguy Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I live with my sister (shes younger, 22 and i am 26) we got into a fight over something silly (as roommates/siblings do) she decided that to get 'revenge' on me, that she would email both my parents and basically list every bad thing I do that shes seen since she moved in with me ( ie drinking, staying out late, skipping a school here and there, things she over hears my friends talking about ect ) She and I are not speaking and have not spoken for about a week which makes it awkward when we are in the kitchen or tv room. my mother is calling and txting non stop demanding i apologize to my sister ( i was out all night last week and my sister booked an apt for the plumber to come at 10am without asking me if that was ok. i said no and went back to sleep and thats where it started) and now my father is calling demanding to see my school records ( i am paying for school on my own ) I feel like I am going insane. my anxiety is getting really bad and everytime I see my sister I am reminded that this is all because she wanted to get revenge on me for making her angry. It is making life very stressful for me ontop of other things in my life. Has anyone gone through something similar of being unfairly ganged up on by their family? what could I do? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 You are 26 and paying for your own education and that is exactly what I would tell them. If you are paying for your own life away from home they have ZERO right to demand to see anything or get involved. I would just tell them this is between you and your sister and as you pay for your own education your school records are your business. Be ready for some flack, but if you do not stand up and be an adult they will treat you like a child. Link to comment
mattguy Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 You are 26 and paying for your own education and that is exactly what I would tell them. If you are paying for your own life away from home they have ZERO right to demand to see anything or get involved. I would just tell them this is between you and your sister and as you pay for your own education your school records are your business. Be ready for some flack, but if you do not stand up and be an adult they will treat you like a child. I agree with you 100 percent thank you. but where my parents DO have a hold on us is they help pay our rent . I am in school and have not worked. although I am finished at the end of this month and will find a job after the new year . Can a college give out information to parents? How am i supposed to get through this with my sister? she is mad because at one point i lost my cool and said F you to her, thats why she emailed my parents. ugh this whole situation is so juvenile Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I agree with you 100 percent thank you. but where my parents DO have a hold on us is they help pay our rent . I am in school and have not worked. although I am finished at the end of this month and will find a job after the new year . Can a college give out information to parents? How am i supposed to get through this with my sister? she is mad because at one point i lost my cool and said F you to her, thats why she emailed my parents. ugh this whole situation is so juvenile No they can not give out information to your parents, you are an adult. About your sister, she just pretty much needs to get over it. Just say sorry and leave it up to her if she wants to act like a baby. If you are done school in a month and will be working then your parents have no leverage at all and they will only know what you actually discuss with them.As an adult you have a right to live your own life without intrusion. Just tell them firmly but respectfully. Once you are no longer financially dependent this should be less of an issue. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Have you thought of writing her a note, stating that you'd like to resolve these issues in order to clear the air? Link to comment
FathomFear Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I would first focus on taking the high ground and getting past the disagreement with your sister. I know that it can be a pride thing, but ultimately this way of interacting isn't mature and you both need to rise above that. As far as your parents go, I agree with what's already been said. You're paying for your own education, and your school records are private. Having said that, I would also do a reality check and ask yourself if your sister/parents have any legitimate gripes. Link to comment
mattguy Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 No they can not give out information to your parents, you are an adult. About your sister, she just pretty much needs to get over it. Just say sorry and leave it up to her if she wants to act like a baby. If you are done school in a month and will be working then your parents have no leverage at all and they will only know what you actually discuss with them.As an adult you have a right to live your own life without intrusion. Just tell them firmly but respectfully. Once you are no longer financially dependent this should be less of an issue. yes you are right. I think that I will make it a goal to be out of this place and get a new place with a non family member by the end of this coming year Link to comment
mattguy Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 I would first focus on taking the high ground and getting past the disagreement with your sister. I know that it can be a pride thing, but ultimately this way of interacting isn't mature and you both need to rise above that. As far as your parents go, I agree with what's already been said. You're paying for your own education, and your school records are private. Having said that, I would also do a reality check and ask yourself if your sister/parents have any legitimate gripes. I do see things from both sides which is why i feel so badly. but my sister is very unsocial, she stays home every weekend never goes out, she has only had 2 people over since she moved in. i am the opposite and very social with lots of people coming over. i think we are too different to be living in the same place Link to comment
mattguy Posted December 6, 2011 Author Share Posted December 6, 2011 Have you thought of writing her a note, stating that you'd like to resolve these issues in order to clear the air? I think writing a note sounds like the best idea. i will probably do it tomorrow, as much as my ego will hurt doing it... Link to comment
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