musiclover Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Hey everyone, I'm looking for everyone's opinion on this situation. To give a bit of a background, although I've done a fair amount of dating, I haven't been in a serious relationship for close to a year now. On Tuesday I had a date with an amazing girl. We immediately connected. Laughing, dancing, even got a little frisky (she made the first move) when I dropped her off. Its been quite some time since I've met someone that brought all those fun feelings up again, so of course I was interested right off the bat. She texted me the next morning thanking me for such a good night and we eventually made plans to see each other this upcoming Saturday. After a few more texts, I had to go into meetings for the rest of the afternoon and told her I would call her later. Never heard back from her after that text. When I called she didn't answer so I left a short message making a joke about the fact that her Bruins beat my Leafs (yes we are Canadian) and that I hope she was having a good evening. 4 or 5 days go by and I don't hear anything from her. I assumed that I got the wrong impression and decided to let it be. Then I hear from a close friend of mine that she added on Facebook that she thought we really hit it off. So I send her a text yesterday asking how the rest of her week was, as she was on vacation. We talked back and forth for a bit. After a bit of playful banter, she goes silent again. So that's my story. Not 100% sure about this girl's interest level or if she's interested at all. Then again, the fact that I really like her could be completely clouding my judgment. What do you guys think? Am I over thinking this or does it seem like she's not interested? Cheers Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Hi Musiclover, It's too early to honestly tell, but I think she likes you. You'll have to wait and see how things go on the next date and thereafter. Link to comment
alwaysmoving Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Ignoring you for so long probably means she isn't interested. Link to comment
dumpedinshock Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 yeah i had the same happen to me, all flirty, kissy, fb statuses, and suddenly vanishes.... It happens, but it USUALLY means they lost interest, of course we dont know for sure, but this is what it looks like Link to comment
musiclover Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Seriously she lost interest that quickly? Our first date was no more than a week ago. I'm going to hope for the best, but if that is true that she's already faded... Well that's just f'ed right up. She knew me in high school, was the one to contact me and initiate the date, shows huge amounts of interest, and then vanishes? I seriously don't understand people's logic sometimes. Link to comment
dumpedinshock Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 i said the exact same thing, in my case, she's the one who always asked me to hangout, she's the one who did all the moves, and she's the one who vanished, it happens and i have no logical explanation for it Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 I think she probably read some stupid book about dating rules. If you are seeing her Sat., just be cool. You might let her know that you are interested in dating her and ask if she feels the same way!!! Simple, direct and to the point. Link to comment
musiclover Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 hahaha to dumpedinshock... I honestly don't think there is a logical explanation other than what mhowe said. mhowe - I think you're right. damned dating rule books have completely skewed our perception on dating. You know, I might just use your tactic on just being straight up with her, but my concern is coming off "too interested" (ridiculous I know). Is it just me, or is the initial part of dating the worst game ever? Link to comment
dumpedinshock Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 hahaha to dumpedinshock... I honestly don't think there is a logical explanation other than what mhowe said. mhowe - I think you're right. damned dating rule books have completely skewed our perception on dating. You know, I might just use your tactic on just being straight up with her, but my concern is coming off "too interested" (ridiculous I know). Is it just me, or is the initial part of dating the worst game ever? just a thought, why don't we use the same weapon? anybody recommends a good/decent dating book to read so we can get some insight? at least understand the phenomenon Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 I haven't dated in more than a decade. My current bf was one of my best buds and he asked me out, so we never "dated" --- went direct to relationship! But I've heard about "The Rules", and there is a ridiculous site called "link removed" for guys -- way too much "game" playing. I think direct, honest communication is a lost art. If you tell her that you are interested in seeing her, good old fashion dating -- and ask her interest level --- can't see how it would come accross as needy or too interested. Link to comment
musiclover Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 dumpedinshock - I'm sure there are tons of good books and articles online about playing the "game" like mhowe suggested, but I guess the first question we have to ask is, do we really want to stoop to the same level? We're sitting here talking about how messed up it is, so why would you want to be a source of the madness? Look beyond my friend and don't believe the hype mhowe - I wish it were that simple these days, but the dating world has become a crazy place. Most people's advice on the subject so far is just to forget about her and make yourself busy until Saturday. A close friend of mine who is quite the natural when it comes to the ladies always tells me that I have to "frame" myself somehow to be a successful, fun, spontaneous, partially unavailable guy. When I ask him what he thinks I can do to improve on this frame of his, he can't give me any suggestions because I'm already that guy! The only difference is that I have interest in this girl, but because of said "rules" I'm almost forbidden to tell her how I feel. I mean... What the hell is too interested anyway? lol. I'd figure telling someone you love them, want to have their kids or find a nice house in the country on the first date is probably too interested. But just telling someone "Hey I think you're awesome and want to spend more time with you" is almost too much these days. oh the games... Where are the cheat codes when you need them... Link to comment
dumpedinshock Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 dumpedinshock - I'm sure there are tons of good books and articles online about playing the "game" like mhowe suggested, but I guess the first question we have to ask is, do we really want to stoop to the same level? We're sitting here talking about how messed up it is, so why would you want to be a source of the madness? Look beyond my friend and don't believe the hype no u got me wrong my friend, i'm not planning on "playing the game", i was just gonna look for an explanation...there has to be one somewhere Link to comment
mhowe Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Yeah -- I wouldn't go for the "have my kids" chat on the first date. But to tell someone you find them interesting, and are interested in seeing them some more doesn't seem that complicated....IMHO. Link to comment
musiclover Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Good man. I like your style... But for people like us I think to learn this explanation would be like trying to explain quantum physics to a penguin. Our minds just doesn't work like that... And thank god for it. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Hard to tell. You might have said something that put her off, she might be busy on her vacation, she might just be a bit annoyed with all of the texting before a second date... Only way to know her interest level is if she goes through with the date and you can judge in person. Link to comment
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