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Speaks to me then ignores me and shows me mixed signals..what is going on??


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so here is the story

I have met this person in class about 6 mths ago (university). We are both studying the same degree and I was in a relationship at the time. He kept sitting next to me in each class and was rather a quite guy. I thought he was like 25 and I was 23 at the time. (he is 22 and I am 24 and a few motnhs ago he was 21 and i was 23). I had absolutely no idea I would develop feelings for him. We spoke briefly ine ach class and before our major wills and estates exam he said do you want to study for it together and test each other and I said sure. We then met up at the library and didnt realise it would close up so early. Since it was about to close he said lets go to my place its only 30 mins away and I was like ok but if its far I dont want to get lost. He said you can follow me so I said ok and I was driving following his motorbike (he is not a bikey..he is welld ressed etc but just has a motorbike license).


We went and he brought up a chair to his room and i sat on the chair and he sat in his bed and we tested each other and got along so well. He kept laughing if I got an answer wrong. anyhow near the end of the night i sat up on the other side of the bed as I was freezing (was winter). We then watched funny vids on his laptop and I was comfortable. I then looked up at him as I was laying next to him and we gave each other a quick kiss and nothing more. Then when I was about to leave I said I was scared I would get lost on the road so he drove me out of the road and stopped and asked if I was ok and if i needed him to keep driving further and I said no its ok I know how tog et back now. I was shocked and confused as I had a bf at the time. I didnt know why that happened but I knew I had an itnerest in him. He started to use msn too because I do everyday. Anyhow he would call me atleast once a day and msg me atleast once a day. So would I. then crunch time came. A few mths later I told him I have a bf and that I didnt know I would develop feelings for him. He didnt blame me and said "Well its not like I didnt ask you if you had a bf anyway"...and then he started saying stuff like: well when are you going to tell him about us? I like you and I dont like the situation of u having a bf etc etc. Thats when i sat down and thought to myself i didnt mean to develop feelings for this dude and my bf has done nothing wrong to me (apart from be a man and a few times we fought over stupid porn issues he had which I was always angry about) but apart from that he was the best bf I have ever had. So to get rid of my bf just like that for a guy i dont even know and developed feelings for didnt seem good for me. I told the guy that I couldnt leave my bf and that I did truly like him which was strange I admit but that i didnt want to ruin my relationship any further.


He was very upset and kept saying stuff like but I love you I think you should leave him sicne you developed an itnerest for me anyway. thanks for making me feel like * * * * etc etc anyhow he went offline and said he was going to delete his whole msn. I didnt see him online for 3 days and I wrote hims everal apology emails and messages saying I truly did feel for him and Im sorry about my situation. He did not respond to any of them and then I saw him 3 days later on msn telling me how the 3 days he had with his mates was the best as he wasnt upset anymore and stopped caring about me. I said thats good. Anyhow he would come on msn everyday still but hardly talk to me or just say hi and thats it. We then had an argument because he wouldnt give me all of my books back that I leant to him and I finally went to his hosue to get it back (i drove 1.5 hrs away to get my stuff back as he was being stubborn about it). He said here it is and gave them to me and was cool and collected. I said thank you but you didnt have to make me struggle to get these back. and then I dont want this enemy bull * * * * between us and everytime i tried to speak he would stare at the wall and ignore me then started screaming at me and telling me to get out of his house if i mentioned any deeper conversation about "us". I went out of the house and went home as he said. (I have also ended my original relatiosnhip). When I met up with him that day he was very skinny and kept drinking wqater like heaps and heaps and I was worried so i messaged him sying plz go doctor etc. He then told me when he came on msn a few days later he has diabetes stage1. He injects insulin everyday and left his job bcos he was too tired to ride up to work and didnt know why. He also needed to find new accommodation because he was living with his friends as he is on bad terms with his dad and cannot live at home. I then helped him and got him accommodation at the university. The point is, he still talks to me on msn each day very briefly and sometimes says come over and we hang out but if i mention anything over sms about what is going on with "us" im confused he doesnt respond. I dont want to be attached again if he doesnt wqant tobe but he does form some sort of contact with me each day. Im really confused and he knows how i feel about him.

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So you realize that you never should have put yourself in this kind of situation with someone you knew you were attracted to while you had a boyfriend? First and foremost you need to learn that in life you are going to be attracted to people, sometimes more than one but if you have a boyfriend you need to teach yourself self-control that you CANNOT ACT ON THESE THINGS and be aware when you put yourself in 1 on 1 situations with these people you might be tempted to cheat with. You had all the control here and you made some really bad decisions. Learn from this.


After this you finally felt a sense of wrong and decided to stay with your boyfriend. Too little and too late. Of course this guy is going to be VERY pissed at you. You cheated on your boyfriend with him and he probably had strong feelings for you, then you told him you had a boyfriend and it had to stop. He doesn't want to talk about "US" with you because you probably ripped his heart right out of his chest and I don't blame him for being very angry with you, much less speak to you.


You started your relationship (which never should have went to the point it got to) with a lie of omission. You had a boyfriend but decided this wasn't important information for him to know, while you developed a relationship with him that he obviously thought was romantic in nature. I feel bad for your ex-boyfriend if he ever had to find out about this.


Chalk this up to a learning experience for yourself, if you still have emotions towards this other guy I would practice right now by controlling them and not acting on it. You have some work to do on yourself and you need to reflect on the mistake you made, not try to hook up with this new dude. I would leave him alone and work on #1 rather than keep pushing him for something that YOU aren't ready for.

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You are right and I definitely will reassess myself and not put myself in a situation like this again. I have told my original bf everything anyway after I argued with this guy etc and I have did what I was suppsoed to do in terms of telling the truth. This guy however after we had fought and he was disappointed in me etc slowly started to speak to me nciely when i began to help him find accommodation. he infact came up to me hismelf on msn n nudged me. I never approached him first. and even though he approached me on msn he didnt speak much. And he even called me over a few times to hang out. The time we did hang out he was saying stuff like "You can teach me how to get to ur area since I dont kno". So basically, after all this crap happened and after he expressed how he was so hurt etc he slowly started to speak to me again and approached me himself and he knows that I like him alot which is y i ruined my own relationship. Basically, he writes me stuff on msn, and if i write a msg about sumthing, he responds. He also hugs me when I see him but doesnt respond about questions when I aask where is this leading if that makes sense. I know I did wrong but I solved what I needed to and he knows I am single and he still talks to me. On my bday he wrote happy bday how was ur exam? and just sms me on his own accord. I want to know if we are friends or more than friends or what not.

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