Crusader9 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 So how long should the first meeting be? I have been talking with this girl online for about a week and half (3 or 4 emails back & forth and a few texts), and had a simple, fun coffee date. We walked around, talked effortlessly (no awkward silences), laughed & smiled, and just generally had a good time (from my perspective). We ended up talking a bit just before saying goodbye, and we said "we'd talk again", but who knows, as I think I've said the same thing knowing that would never happen! We spent about an hour & a half walking around & chatting...I've had dates that lasted much longer (and shorter) and I can't think that time has a lot to do with it. I have had dates that went longer and nothing developed (sometimes my decision, sometimes others), or is about 90 minutes good for a "first meet"? Anyways, either way, I'll probably send a quick text tomorrow saying I had a fun time and it was great to meet her...see where she takes it from there. Lately, I seem to have a tough time reading women, so any feedback might be helpful. Thanks! Link to comment
metrogirl Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I don't think there is a right or wrong amount of time. If you two are enjoying each other's company then time probably wouldn't even matter. When I met my ex for the first time, we were together that evening for about 5 hours. Had the time of my life. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 personally...i don't think there's an answer for this one. i've met two women in the last month or so...and the first meetings were both great...and they lasted hours...like 5 or 6. but i'm with ya on the 'reading women' front. i'm pretty sure she could load it on with the signals and i'd still be oblivious. yah!! i'm awesome. lol. are you a move maker usually? Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 I'm not typially a "move maker", but the first time I meet someone, I tend to make sure I have a good "hello" planned based on what we have talked about or just getting to the meet and then just talk and make sure she has a good time (great convo, jokes, etc.). My "reading" skills have definitely been off lately and it is causing me some confidence issues!!!! haha.... I think this girl is fun, attractive, and would be nice to see her again. We'll see tomorrow I guess! Link to comment
OrangeMoon Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 ..there are no 'should's'..but 1,5 hrs for the first one is long enough for me.. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted December 4, 2011 Author Share Posted December 4, 2011 So...did what I said, sent a text today, got a response within a couple of hours (not looking for an immediate response or anything, we all have lives!)...but did I get nicely blown off???.... Basically, I said it was nice to meet her, and I had a good time, plus a little "joke" about something funny that happened while we were out. The response I got was an acknowledgement of the joke, what she was doing that afternoon, and that she hoped I had a good day. Good or bad response? I don't know what I was expecting, but maybe something that "I had fun too" or "nice to meet you too"...am I overthinking this, or did I just get the polite answer??? Link to comment
laura40 Posted December 4, 2011 Share Posted December 4, 2011 I don't think she has blown you off. Wait a couple of days and if she hasn't contacted you then ask her on another date. Answering your initial question, time doesn't really matter. I've been on dates that have lasted 30 mins and dates that have lasted 5 hours. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Well, I got my answer...I was "de-favourited" from the online dating site we originally started chatting on... Link to comment
laura40 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 If I'm honest that's not a good sign. However are you sure she wasn't just clearing her favourites list out and because she now knows you, she's deleted you from it? (As she knows where to contact you?) Don't give up hope yet, and as I said earlier, text her maybe in a day or two to see if she wants to meet you again. If she doesn't respond or says no then that's your final answer. Link to comment
Crusader9 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Thanks for the honesty, but I am pretty sure I've been blown off...no worries though; it happens. It just sucks to be on the other side! I think I'm done with online dating...I'd rather not date than do it. It's either I am not attracted to them or vice-versa, and I haven't been anyone that we've both clicked. I know it's a "numbers game", but I'm just tired of this. At least "in real life" I know there is a physical attraction before going out. I think the hardest part of online dating is you don't really know if there is physical chemistry at all (seriously, a pic?) and texting/talking on the phone is no good if that isn't there. At the end of it, you are really getting rejected for one thing, and that is appearance (and I'm not like a 2 or anything...just a normal, average looking guy...maybe above average on a good day!haha). All the fun & "chemistry" in the world can't make up for lack of physical attraction (there has to be some!). What sucks is based on my work I don't meet many women, and some with my other activities. So the chances of dating are slim. Oh well, better that this online dating. Link to comment
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