JLKLEE Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 I just broke up with my boyfriend and am hurting a lot. Just like A LOT of people on here, I wonder if he will ever contact me, regret his decision, etc. We broke up Monday night and although it has been just a few days I have stuck to NC. The reason why is... I dated this guy before my ex for about 3 1/2 years. The relationship was always up and down. He would pick his friends over me and call me names and put me down. FOR SOME REASON, I stayed and was there to answer the phone anytime he called me. He would sleep with other girls during our break-ups then call me and manipulate me to come over. He would cry about how awful they were and how they weren't me, but that certainly did not stop him from sleeping with someone else. I could go on and on about how awful the relationship was, but I'm sure you get the drift. Anyways, I thought that if I cut contact with him that he would forget about me. If I did not have sex with him, he would forget about me. So for 7 months I hung out to a little bit of hope I could, thinking that if I kept myself on his mind, he would want me back. WRONG. It pushed him away more and more. He would not speak to me for weeks, breaking my heart. I drove myself crazy. I wouldn't eat. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry, check his facebook, find out what he was doing, etc. Well eventually, I started to get out and do things for myself. I went out with friends, hung out with guys and slowly the obsessive thoughts of him started to decrease. Then I cut ties with him altogether. Well about a year later, he tried to come back into my life after seeing him out at a bar on my birthday. We talked and he told me EVERYTHING I had wanted to hear while we were together. He told me that all the activities/friends that he picked over me, he doesn't even talk to them now and he regrets choosing them over me because if he hadn't we would still be together. He said he missed me so much and would think about every little cute thing I did and that for 7 months he had absolutely no desire to do anything with any other female. He started going to the gym and working out because he had gained weight and he said that I looked so good I probably wouldn't want to be seen with him. It was so crazy to hear someone who was so focused on sleeping with other girls and going out to bars and clubs and hanging out with his friends was telling me how he wanted to marry me and me be the mother of his children. I NEVER thought I would hear those words. BUT...too little too late and I had already moved on to my, now, ex-boyfriend. So I personally think, for those exes that took you for granted and did not appreciate you...CUT TIES!!! Because they WILL realize what they had but will never have the opportunity to miss you if you are calling, texting or trying to see them!!! Have faith in yourself!! Link to comment
WindowTo Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 I have been in 3 major relationships in the last 5 years and not a single one of them has said anything like this, but perhaps this advice is specific to girls who stayed in relationships with guys who treated them like crap? Link to comment
JLKLEE Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 I have been in 3 major relationships in the last 5 years and not a single one of them has said anything like this, but perhaps this advice is specific to girls who stayed in relationships with guys who treated them like crap? Well it was more so for the people who think that if they cut ties that the person will forget about them. Either way, it is better to do so because you either move on or the person realizes what kind of mistake they made. When my ex came back, he was a completely different person. If I was not already over him I MAY have tried it again with him. I could tell he was genuine and really realized what he gave up. Link to comment
lonelyheart2 Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Do you think he would have contacted you if you had not seen each other in that bar on your birthday? Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 So I personally think, for those exes that took you for granted and did not appreciate you...CUT TIES!!! Because they WILL realize what they had but will never have the opportunity to miss you if you are calling, texting or trying to see them!!! Unfortunately most never do this so you may well be waiting a long time for that realization to happen.. Link to comment
JLKLEE Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 Do you think he would have contacted you if you had not seen each other in that bar on your birthday? Well his friends told me he would have. He planned on doing this huge 180 and that he was going to ask me to dinner. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 It's a nice story, and I'm glad you got over him and have found someone new - but not all people who leave a relationship will miss their partner. In actual fact, a lot of people leave and never look back. It's all about how you heal yourself. Link to comment
UnchainedSoul Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 It is a very nice story. I just went through something very similar. I think I may make a post about it. But I believe as well cutting ties is the best thing you could possibly do with something that is toxic---whether if its a romantic relationship or just a friendship... Link to comment
Raaawr Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Just a question. If he came back to you sooner and said those things would you have gone back to him? After a week? 2 weeks? 2 months? How long is the right time as you say that is too long. Link to comment
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