How do you know when it's over?

[Westward]

MY GF and I lived together for 6 months. I was emotionally not really in to the relationship, felt we were going nowhere, and didn't really enjoy each other 's company. I moved out in june and moved on. Felt good. Happy. In August she sends me a very nice email detailing how much she loves me, and why we should reunite. I gave in and agreed to meet. Things went great and we started dating again.

 

Not really living together this time, but im over there every night. She has so little time for me. She cones home from the office and goes straight to the computer and keeps working until 10 or 11 each night.

 

We have very little time to ourselves. She is the sole provider for her child. She doesn't like to text or send email since she is forced to do to that all day at work. She crawls into bed about 11 too exhausted for sex.

 

I've told her I need more. A quick hug. A nice text. Simple. But she won't do it. ALWAYS TOO BUSY with work or house projects. We used to run, hike, travel, ski .......now nothing.

 

I know there is no one else. But this relationship seems dead to me.

 

Is it savable? Do I move on?

 

And when is it time to Go?

[Dezireey]

It's time to go when you come onto a forum asking others if it's time to go lol

 

Doubts, that's the first sign and of course you sound unhappy now. It is saveable if she is willing to make changes and listen to you but it sounds like she is not prepared to do that so....you need to politely and kindly sit her down and tell her that you are unhappy and are starting to wonder if its going anywhere. If she makes excuses and is not interested in listening to you then I would pack up and go. Unhappiness is the killer in flailing relationships and it can then turn into resentment for some people.

[Snowy]

I've told her I need more. A quick hug. A nice text. Simple. But she won't do it.

 

There's your answer.

 

If you're not happy and she's not willing to make you happy...well I think it's very clear that she's not compatible for you.

 

Right now is the time to go.

[Julia Durst]

I think you should move on.

She is not compatible with you.

[arwen]

If you weren't into the relationship when you first moved in together, why did you get back together?

[winniethepooh]

MY GF and I lived together for 6 months. I was emotionally not really in to the relationship, felt we were going nowhere, and didn't really enjoy each other 's company.

Ok.

 

In August she sends me a very nice email detailing how much she loves me, and why we should reunite. I gave in and agreed to meet. Things went great and we started dating again.

Ok again. But why did she say you should reunite?

 

I've told her I need more. A quick hug. A nice text. Simple. But she won't do it. ALWAYS TOO BUSY with work or house projects. We used to run, hike, travel, ski .......now nothing.

Erm, so just how much did she say she loved you when she wrote to you in August? It doesn't sound like she loves you very much. Perhaps you should point out this contradiction before you pull the plug again.

 

Is it savable?

If both of you want to and can find ways to align your beliefs in how much is necessary to show you love each other. Among other things, but that seems to be the obvious starting point to me.

 

Do I move on?

 

And when is it time to Go?

Questions for you and her to answer. Or you if she's not willing to discuss them.

 

It's not looking good though from what you say.

 

Tell her you want to talk about the relationship sometime because it's not going the way you had expected or hoped when you reconciled back in August. Give her a chance to think about it a bit, don't just launch into a discussion out of the blue, and schedule a time when you can both be relaxed and prepared for it. If she's not interested then that kind of answers your questions for you. It seems strange to me that she wanted to reconcile but now doesn't appear to want to work on improving things. Is there something else going on that you might not be aware of?

 

And I expect raising a child and having a demanding job are draining for her. You should acknowledge that if you haven't, but all the same, it's not unreasonable for you to expect a bit of attention also. Otherwise what's the point in having a relationship with her in the first place?