Is this wrong of me?

[jjnner]

I am going through a divorce, we separated and filed for divorce mid october. My marriage ended because my husband cheated on me. I am ready to date now, even though its only been a month and a half since we split.

 

I have a mutual interest with a co-work of my x-husbands. We were friends before my divorce, and after. We have great chemistry and used to talk daily. However.... He was getting a lot of harassment from co-workers about dating and even just "hanging around" another co-workers x-wife.

 

so now, he is avoiding me and does not call anymore. I understand he is getting severe daily harassment at work, but I don't think that should mean he can not talk to me anymore.

 

Am I wrong to think that? should he avoid me and stop talking/txting/calling just for the fact his co-workers think its wrong? Is it wrong?

 

thanks for your thoughts on this. I'm heartbroken I no longer talk to him. I really liked him, and were connected so well.

[Captain Obvious]

Sure its a valid reason.

[jjnner]

As in, its a valid reason for him to now avoid me?

[Hollyj]

I think you're moving onto the next person waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too quickly. It's only been a 1.5 months. Your husband is a creep, but are you doing this for attention and ego validation because he cheated on you?

 

I would not date for some some time, as you have a lot to work through. If you jump into another relationship, it will not work.

 

Focus on you!

[jjnner]

Ok, thanks for the reply. Im just used to being in long relationships and I like it. I do not like to be single. Its lonely. I know I know, I should get hobbies. I do have hobbies, I work and volunteer, so its not like I am just bored. I am by no means doing this for ego validation, or attention. Im not that kind of a person. He just seems so perfect for me.

 

How long do you suggest that I wait?

 

and is it normal that he is avoiding me? It it healthy. im just sad I lost a friend too.

[Hollyj]

I think it depends on how long you were together.

 

You shouldn't be in relationships because you're lonely, a relationship should be a bonus. Maybe this is the time to expand your interests and friends-I did the same-and not be dependent on others for you happiness. I think that this shows that you should be much more independent; it will make a healthier you.

 

Forget about him and work on you. You have a divorce to deal with and should focus on that

[jjnner]

Thank you for taking the time to help me with my problem. I am trying hard to find friends and interests. Its tough.

 

I have been married three years, and been together for six. ---- how long do I take before finding companionship again?

[jjnner]

I think it depends on how long you were together.

 

You shouldn't be in relationships because you're lonely, a relationship should be a bonus. Maybe this is the time to expand your interests and friends-I did the same-and not be dependent on others for you happiness. I think that this shows that you should be much more independent; it will make a healthier you.

 

Forget about him and work on you. You have a divorce to deal with and should focus on that

 

ok, just re-read your reply, and that last line does make sense. Your so right. thank you

[Hollyj]

Hon, I think you should try to understand why you are so dependent on men for happiness? You definitely need to expand your interests. Check out Meetup groups, take classes, expand volunteering etc...... I did this and discovered many new interests and made many new friends. My life is totally different and fulfilling. If you don't find happiness within, you will not get it from others.

 

Honestly, I would wait at least a year before dating.

[HeartGoesOn]

I think it would be in your best interest to officially end one relationship, before beginning a new one. You'd be in much better shape emotionally by waiting until your divorce is final, and you're on your own for a period of time, where you have the means to get your life in order.