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Found out ex has new BF


mark4

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Last night someone came up to me and said OMG have you seen who (my ex) is dating now!? he is a total weirdo - blah blah he wears strange clothes.... my heart sank.

I thought I was over it, I still think about her occasionally but.... in my head I was over it.

 

I feel like this has knocked me back, I know what we were is over and she is entitled to be free and her own person and see whoever she wants now, but just finding out she has found someone new has just made me feel really sad.

 

But I don't wanna feel like this I want to forget her and get on with the rest of my life and maybe even meet someone else my self one day!

 

I haven't posted here in quite a few months because I thought I was totally over it, I quite annoyed with myself that it has affected me like this.

Just looking for advice I guess....

 

Mark

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Hey mark,

 

Don't let it drag you back down too much. What you feel now is natural but it will pass pretty quickly. I was in your exact same situation not so long ago myself.

 

It sure is a knock back, but only a step or two, no where near back to the beginning. Don't get annoyed with yourself, just ride it out and in a day or two you'll suddenly realise that you forgot!

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There are certain things which only hit home WHEN they happen.

This is one of them.

 

No matter how much you will yourself to be over and take anything in their personal like in your stride, you still get affected by it to some degree if it is something which you may not want to know has finally happened.

 

Well.

 

It's finally happened which in a way believe it or not is a good thing because it has finally passed and you can move on even more.

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Ugh... im dreading this moment, managed to espace this one so far for the last 8 months, i hope im over her 100% and im with someone new when it eventually happens. I live in a very small town so i have been very lucky so far. 100% sympathy for you mark4..... let us know how you feel in a couple of weeks, hopefully the emotional pain passes soon for you

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Yeah this happened to me a while back too.

 

I thought I was pretty much over it...bam...saw another guy's arm around my ex's waist...

 

Really made me feel like crap that whole day...

 

But once it sinks in, you'll just accept that's how it is and it will feel much much better.

 

Give it a few days, I promise you'll be right back on track and moving on.

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Ive just gone through this too, and to be honest when i found out i was hit hard. But seriously it now helped me because i know dont need to hang on for her and give her the 'space' she asked for. I just deleted everything, threw everything she bought me out. Its better and now i can just forget her.

 

Its hard but not as bad as the initial breakup. But dont beat yourself up, look at it as her loss!

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It's been about 8 months ... Thanks you all for your kind words and support - feeling a lot better now.

 

I think it was just news I was dreading but - now that I know it's done and that's it. Like ripping a plaster off a cut really fast!

 

Man this relationship stuff is hard work when you really loved the other person. I think deep in my heart I know I always felt more for her than she did me. So it wasn't meant to be - I've fully accepted its over and living a happy single life. But I'm definitely still in recovery.

 

This news of her new relationship was unexpected and it was like a punch to the gut but - what I've learned is just to get back up and keep moving on and being happy on my own.

 

She contacted me randomly not long ago to tell me she had some vouchers for places I like to eat - it was really really random she was telling me about her job as well - The vouchers didn't materialise. Not that I would have met up to get them I wasn't interested.

 

She also told me in those text interchanges that she still had out memory box. Strange.

 

I was just polite to her and ended the texts. Messed my head up for a couple days but got back on track.

 

I've been trying to figure out the voucher stuff - I didn't get it... Seemed like a pointless reason to get in touch?

 

Anyway, rambling now just nice to get stuff off my chest because I don't talk to friends or fam about this stuff or they would get sick of me!! Haha

 

Mark

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