Showering me with gifts

[NG85]

I've been seeing this girl on and off for maybe about 2 months now, and as of now we're not serious, just doing some casual dating and hooking up. I'm still trying to play things by ear, but I don't really know if I want to pursue a full-on relationship with this girl.

 

The most major issue I see is that she's been spoiling the hell out of me, even though we're not official and have only known each other a short time. Her father is very wealthy, and gave her a Black American Express card in her name for her to use. I don't think there's a limit, so when she goes out she'll put all of her friends' tabs on this card, or she'll buy dinner for everyone, etc.

 

When we're out, either alone or with friends, she'll insist on buying me food or drinks. One time she wanted to take me out to dinner, so we met up and she ended up taking me to this fancy Italian restaurant. We had 2 sodas, a salad, and we split an entree, and it came to over $70, and she paid it all herself like it was nothing.

 

Tonight we're going to a mutual friend's birthday party, and I told her I'd be wearing some new pants I bought. The only problem was I didn't have a shirt to go with them. Her solution? She wants to meet up early so she can buy me some shirts. She said the only condition is that she has to pick them out, and not to worry if she goes too overboard, as she wants to spoil me and buy me a ton of clothes.

 

Now I know it's kind of par for the course for a guy to pay for dinner or drinks, or for both parties to go Dutch, but I've never been in a situation where a girl throws money at me like this. This girl is cute and she's fun to be around, but I don't see much of a future with her. But who can resist someone buying you fancy dinner or buying you nice clothes? I do enjoy her company, but I feel like I'm enjoying the feeling of getting a night out on the town for free as well as sex whenever I want it more than her. I think she knows that I'm not 100% into the idea of being "official" with her, so she's using her money to kind of win me over. I'm putting in so little work and getting so much out of it, and I feel really guilty. I've tried to call things off, but as soon as I do she throws money at me or tries to have sex with me, both of which are very hard to resist. I'm not a gold digger by any means, but after years of being the one who pays for everything in every relationship, it feels good to have the roles reversed.

 

Have any of the guys here been in a situation like this? And I know women are sometimes spoiled, so have any of the women on here been overly spoiled by a guy? Did you like it? How did things turn out? Did the spoiling cause you to change your opinion of the person?

[DN]

Despite the fact she is offering all this stuff, it you accept it you are taking financial advantage of her. Especially if you don't really see a future with her.

[Flyingpiglet]

Does she know that you don't see af future with her in it?

Is she fully aware that you see this as casual dating/hooking up/sex...?

Yeah it may be nice to be spoilt but personally it is a massive turn off for me when people throw their money about. It makes me uncomfortable.

She's trying to buy your affections, and you're allowing it! You're being unfair by allowing this to continue.

[offplanet]

Yes, you're going to feel more and more guilty the longer you stay with her! She's binding you with cords of gold. This will escalate, and the longer it goes on, the harder it will be to get out of it without looking like a 'jerk' as you people over there call it! It's been nice for you, but I think the party should be over now, before things get very messy.

[NG85]

Does she know that you don't see af future with her in it?

Is she fully aware that you see this as casual dating/hooking up/sex...?

Yeah it may be nice to be spoilt but personally it is a massive turn off for me when people throw their money about. It makes me uncomfortable.

She's trying to buy your affections, and you're allowing it! You're being unfair by allowing this to continue.

 

I've told her several times that I'm not looking for anything serious (Not only with her, but with anybody - Relationships aren't for me at the moment). I've also tried to call things off a couple times, but she won't allow it.

 

Every time she throws her money around I always offer to pay or chip in, but she refuses. For example, if we're at a bar and she catches me ordering a drink, she demands that the bartender puts it on her tab, even if I've put money in the BT's hand. Sometimes I try and fight it, but she's adamant.

 

But it's not only me who gets the special treatment - She also spoils her friends, too. I guess it's natural for her, and she's used to picking up the tab for other people. She's very aggressive when it comes to picking up the tab or check, and she gets offended if anyone doesn't allow her to pay.

 

It's not like can't afford this stuff with her card, but I do get uncomfortable when someone is throwing around hundreds of dollars a night like it's nothing. This card links to her father's account, and he never questions what she buys, so she just goes all-out.

[Flyingpiglet]

I've also tried to call things off a couple times, but she won't allow it.

.

 

Rubbish! She dosen't control you... You have full control over your own actions and every right to make your own decisions. If you want to leave, then leave!

As offplanet says, the longer you leave it the worse it will get and the harder it will be to leave with your dignity intact!

 

And at the risk of making assumptions, I have to wonder how many of her friends are really 'friends'

 

Basically, you want out.... So grow a pair and LEAVE!!