How to Move On? 6 Months since BU

[DallopofDaisy]

Hey everyone,

 

I was in a one year relationship... my first love, my only love so far. We broke up 6 months ago, and we've been NC for 4 months. The first two months of the BU, I was the one who broke NC once every couple weeks.

 

I still think about him. It goes through phases. Some weeks, I'll think about him very little, some weeks, I'll think about him a great deal. I still don't even know if I can bring myself to say that breaking up was the right thing, although, I know we were just pulling each others' lives down. Some of my heart is still with him, and there are things I miss.

 

Is this normal? It's been 6 months since the BU. All I want is to move on. I never contact him, never look him up on Facebook, no involvement with him whatsoever. Yet, why does he keep popping up in my mind every so often? I want to date other people wholly and genuinely, but I know I can't do that until I've moved on completely. Does it just take a long time?

 

Could use some advice...

 

Daisy

[KYRiverGrl]

First loves can take longer to recover from than subsequent ones. You're doing all of the right things with NC. Do your best to stay busy with other things, and since there are long stretches of time that you're not thinking about him you will eventually be able to completely move on Be patient with yourself, you're doing great.

[winniethepooh]

Does it just take a long time?

Yes, quite often it does. Just try and accept that it reflects your feelings for him and emotional investment in the relationship.

 

All I want is to move on. I never contact him, never look him up on Facebook, no involvement with him whatsoever.

Then keep doing what you're doing. You are doing the right things.

 

Yet, why does he keep popping up in my mind every so often?

Because he was a significant part of your life for a period of time. That's normal.

 

I want to date other people wholly and genuinely, but I know I can't do that until I've moved on completely.

Sometimes dating can help you move on but do that carefully. Rather than try to force yourself, just be open to opportunities and worry about it if something comes up. If you feel at all uncomfortable, then back off.

[Eocsor]

Yes it can take a long time. Some experts say about a year to feel better and another to totally move on. A study in britain put average time to recover from divorce at 18 months. But it's different for everyone. We all go at our own pace. Dating after a breakup is difficult. It's an individual choice when you feel ready. Just avoid an obvious rebound and be up front with those you date about where you are at.

[raidernation]

it sucks but this experience is going to make you stronger and more prepared for your next relationship.

 

Im about 8 months out too and it still hurts all the time but im looking forward to the time when i can completely look back and laugh at this time in my life.

 

sorry i really dont have any advice, ive slowly gotten better though, time and personal growth are key

[Thorshammer]

For a first love, thats good progress. Healing is a personal thing, its like your own journey to re-discover your old-self (or discover your new self) and trying to let go of the life you basically once lived.