Guilting him into spending time with me?

[backtothebeat]

My boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 months (two months of this being long distance), this will be our first holiday period coming up and originally he was going to come down for new years and stay about a week but last night he said that he wanted to come after in early jan (and for a shorter time) because of a concert he wanted to see on new years and to spend more time with his family/friends. Not going to lie, I was upset, I was really looking forward to spending our first New Years together. I told him that's why I was upset, but I understood and spending time with his family and friends was important, and I'd see him afterwards.

 

But now he's rearranged his plans because "If I want to spend New Years with him then he'll come down and see me" and I know I should be happy, but I feel really guilty now and like I've manipulated him into it (which I kinda did I guess :S )

 

I don't know what to do now, I've been telling him that I overreacted and he can spend NY at the concert but he won't change his mind back.

[Keyman]

I honestly don't think you guilted him into it based on what you have said. You simply told him of your want to spend the holiday with him and that his change of plans upset you.

 

I think guilting would be to use that over and over until he finally changes his mind.

 

It sounds like you stated how you felt once, which told him straight up how you felt, and he decided he wanted to spend time with you instead. WIN.

[lilxcutie53]

Yeah, you didn't guilt trip him. I think its actually good that he took your feelings into consideration and switched up his plans

[backtothebeat]

Thanks for your responses guys, I still can't help but feel a little guilty...

But I guess now I have to think of something extra exciting to do on New Years

[DN]

I don't think it was a guilt trip which implies he did nothing wrong and you made it seem as if he did. But he was changing previously agreed arrangements, you let him know you were disappointed which is entirely legitimate, and he reverted to the original plan.

 

Seems like it worked out as it should have.