Don't know what to do! Please help!!!

[SonOfaBeeSting]

So I have this girl that I had been dating for a long time and we fell in love and we still love each other but the spark kinda went away and I had moved off so we broke up. Well this was about 4 months ago and we have seen each other 2 times since then and each time was wonderful. It's like the spark is there and we're back together in a relationship when we are physically together, but then after she or I leaves it just goes back to the same as in it just feels like it's not all there. I can just feel it and it's like she has to be with me in order to feel it. We talk everyday and she calls me and texts me just as much as I do her. She has said before if she didn't wanna talk to me nor drive 4 hrs to see me she would tell me or if she wanted to date other ppl then she would do it, and I believe her because she is a very honest person. She is a very determined girl and works hard in school and is in an extremely busy semester so I take that into account but it just still seems like she could try harder. She is just enjoying being single she says and she is just stressed out with school and doens't wanna deal with a relationship. Ok, that's fine but it has been like 4 months and I have tried alot of different things like acting like I don't care and all that stuff and it seems to work and then I just get too comfortable I guess after she starts to seem interested again and it just backfires.

 

I am moving back very close to her within a week and it's not for her it's a job opportunity I couldn't pass up but I think she seems to think that I expect to see her often and that we will be getting back together. She said she will see me as much as she can lol. I can tell you I am not expecting that at all and I told her that. I saw her the weekend before this last and everything went great and I can tell she really is in love with me and that's the reason we have both held on this long, but now it's just like she is distant again. I know for a fact that she is not seeing anybody else either so I'm not worried about that. So I guess what I need to do now is just kinda start trying to move on. I know that when I see her we will probably act like we're in a relationship again, it's like we can't help it we're really attracted to each other but I am just tired of this crap. I really want her back but I feel like I may have to let her go in order for that to happen. I need to make her want me like I want her but it's just confusing how to do that and then something happens that i don't expect and my plan is ruined. What do you guys suspect I should do? Right now I'm thinking I am just gonna wait for her to call/text me pretty much all the time and when she does I am just going to act pretty uninterested like I'm moving on and tired of this crap. And even when i get to the area I'm not even going to try to see her I'm just gonna get there and do my thing and hang out with all my friends from the area. Thanks for reading guys and please give me a great, well thought out opinion lol.

[XxJustMexX]

Right now I'm thinking I am just gonna wait for her to call/text me pretty much all the time and when she does I am just going to act pretty uninterested like I'm moving on and tired of this crap.

 

I wouldn't quite go as far as acting like you're tired of it... but I do agree with acting uninterested. Not uninterested per se, but more like you're pretty busy too. Just as long as she sees you kind of drifting away, that should be good enough. No need to get too dramatic with it, otherwise you risk turning her off as well. For this to work (if I pretended it were me) I'd have to feel like you're pulling away, but not being mean at the same time. Because honestly if the guy were acting like a jerk about it, I'd just easily just forget about him, and would think he's not worth fighting for.

 

You don't even have to pretend. It's better if you actually ARE doing these things. (ie... be busy, fill your life with activities, hang out with friends... basically don't act like the world revolves around her...) Once she sees this, she'll be swooping in...

[SonOfaBeeSting]

Thank you for the reply! It's just so much damn easier to say than do, because like i was saying earlier I'll have an idea and be sticking to it and then she does something that totally throws me off and it just screws me up. Like I'll actually see progress and then I'll get to comfortable I guess and be all like super in love with her again haha.

 

So I was thinking that when I do move near her again I am not even going to try to chill with her, and just let her ask me to hang out. And then i was still gonna say that I can't the first time because I am really busy or just something like that and then wait for her to wanna chill again and kinda be hesitant but then chill with her and then when I do see her just act like strictly friends because every time we see each other we kiss and hug and hold hands all the time, so I am thinking that if she sees that I am not all that interested in being more than friends she won't be able to take it lol. This is probably where I'll * * * * up tho because she will ask why and if I am seeing someone else, blah blah blah and I will probably somehow say the wrong thing. I really just wanna act like nothing is outta the ordinary because I know that when I sense something has changed and I tell her about it and she says nothing is different, it bugs the hell outta me, so I'll return the favor. How does all that sound?

[SonOfaBeeSting]

Also I was thinking that if she hasn't asked to chill with me soon after I get down there I will go chill with another friend that's in the same area lol but not make an effort to see her. But also find a way to let her know like with a fb post or something that I was in the area, but not make it obvious i wanted her to see it.

 

If anybody has any tactics I could use that would be cool too because I have a hard time sticking to a nonchalant kinda demeanor sometimes.

[SonOfaBeeSting]

Bump I need help ppl!