suxa Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Hello, I'll try to be short and sweet, and I would appreciate well-thought responses from men. My boyfriend and I've been together for almost two years now. I won't get into the details of my issues, but let's say that my boyfriend helped me out with it and I'm a better person as a result. Anyways, he had something traumatic happen to him when he was in 5th grade (a best friend betrayed him and ostracized him from the entire school for a whole year). As a developing adolescent, he was curious about girls and his sexuality, but as a result of this terrible incident, he never felt comfortable talking to girls at such critical age. Then he justified to himself that with the message, "I don't want to talk to these girls.... I will meet the love of my life later, and everything will be perfect." So I guess he felt insecure about talking to girls, though he really WANTED to, but made excuses to make himself feel okay. So before he met me, he was with 3 women, and had sex only 7 times. He was 27 when I met him. He has been saving himself for 'the one', and made some mistakes along the way... this is what he tells me. Adding to the complication... When he asked me how many people I'd been with, I lied to him but 6 months of being with him, told him the truth. Before I told him the truth, everything was great...and I think he felt justified in his thinking that "I waited, and look what I ended up with. It was worth it" But now, he tells me that he feels like a loser. "All these guys had sex with you, and it doesn't matter. I have wasted his life living a stupid lie..." And, "The society tells men to be 'studs' and this is measured by how many women they CAN sleep with, and how many they HAVE." Now, here is my question: Do men really feel like studs because they've been with all these women? Do men feel remorse after having sex with women they should have not had sex with? Do men respect other men who has slept around, or are they seen as people with insecurities...or whatever. I keep reminding him what a great man he is... because he is! He is great with sports, his hands, got a great job, and has the best of personalities. Did I mention that he's also very handsome? Please give me your thoughts... I am trying to figure out the best ways to help him, and I'm not a man. I want to hear what men have to say about this. But of course, women are more than welcome to leave comments. Thank you. Link to comment
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