Not exactly sure where to go from here-

[Anonymous 6]

Hello everyone,

 

I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. After realizing that I would never be able to trust him, I broke it off and have not contacted him since (about a month). I have been trying my hardest to go out, and have fun with friends. I have been trying anything to help myself get through my withdrawals of companionship. My problem is, I don't think I have ever felt more alone in my life- It seems that all of my friends blow me off, or when they finally do come around- all they can talk about is themselves; and when I bring up anything that I would like to talk about, it gets discarded to "Ohh, I'm so in love with my bf, hes taking me out tonight, and....". I've talked to my friends about it. But, after thinking about it- I get really upset about the small stuff. Stuff like making arrangements and then getting blown off does kind of suck. But, I feel that I'm getting more upset about it than I should. It seems that if anyone breaks my trust, even in the smallest way- I freak out. I'm absolutely petrified of putting my trust into anyone or anything. I know that it is probably in my head; but, I feel that if I give any trust, it will most likely get broken. I seem to be pushing away anyone that has even a slight chance of getting close to me in any way. I know that time can help heal; but, I feel unbelievably miserable. Right now I need friends more than ever- I tried contacting a therapist, but it didn't help. He diagnosed me with depression NOS, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Panic Disorder without Agrophobia- I didn't even bother to ask what any of it was. They wanted to put me on meds which I was not too crazy about, so I refused and have not been back since. I did alot of research on the meds that they wanted to put me on, from what I gathered- It takes a long time to figure out if the medication works, 6 times out of 10 you switch meds at least twice before you find something that works, and they can sometimes make your symptoms worse. With those odds, I figured I would try to figure out something naturally-

If anyone has any input, advise, comments anything-

[Anonymous 6]

Anyone?........

[White]

Well, what I'm gonna say, it may sound bad but it's the rough truth... We're born alone, we live alone and we die alone. So you did a great job getting out of that bad relationship on all by YOURSELF and being able to stay in nc for a month.

And your friends are very selfish, but that is the reason why you have this forum, to seek advice and support so you can get well again.

Maybe you should try to go out more, so you can meet some new people. It takes a lot of courage and strength but go step by step. Meeting new people is a good way to have a better social life.

And I'm sorry I can't give you any medical advice, but if things get worse, don't you think it would be better to try the meds?

good luck:sentimental:

[KYRiverGrl]

Congratulations on the month of NC -- that is a huge accomplishment I agree that your friends are being a bit selfish ... do you have anyone else you can talk to? This board has been a great help to me.

[Awoken]

You are in a lot of pain. Which is terrible. But I too agree that you have made the right decision. It is a pity your friends are not more supportive. You need to find more positive people to talk to about this situation, just to vent anger, sadness, etc. If you have any religious faith reach out to your preist, rabbi and one that will listen. You don't want these feelings and emotions to eat away at you. That's not going to help you heal. This site is also a great place to come too. Keep talking, people will listen and help if you share with them.