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5 long Night Sofa Dates and now she seems to be ignoring me. warninlong story

David Mac

By David Mac
in Dating Advice

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David Mac Rookie

David Mac

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Its a long story but It really helps describes the situation,

 

Been messaging a girl called Emma for over 3 weeks via pof and phone and last tues she phoned me for 3 hours, and the next day we met up.

i thought I was being stitched up as she didnt turn up to the pub we agreed to meet at. So after 10 mins I txt her and she apologised saying her son didnt go to nursery that day and she was at home. She offered to either meet with her 3 yr old son or rearrange for a another day. I waited about 20 mins and she turned up with her son, i bought them a drink and we talked and had a great conversation, we went outside and let her son play in the garden.

 

She offered me back to her house and so I accepted I followed her in my car. When we got into her house she left me with in the front room whilst she sorted the dog out in the kitchen and her son started showing me his toys and I played with him.

She came back and I was tickling her son and making him laugh and she said he must like you because he's normally wary of men.

 

She got him ready for bed and then we talked about some great in depth conversations,inc personal topics. had a few beers and watched a lot of tv and films. I kept asking if i had stayed too long and she reassured me that she was enjoying my company and to not leave.

So the night came to and end and as I was leaving I gave her a hug and she then kissed me, It felt awesome and we kissed for a few minutes before I eventually left.

 

As I got home she text me will I see you tomorrow I said yes can't wait to. The next day came and I went round hers and it was much the same as the previous night except this time we both sat on the sofa and she held out her hand looked at me and smile and I held her hand.

As I was leaving we hugged and kissed but it was a lot more physical she said I wish you could stay round.

But she told me previously during the night that she doesn't trust anyone due to some issues etc.

 

So we didnt see one another for another 3 days and during the time we both were texting the odd message here and there.

On sunday she invited me to go round hers and it was the same hanging out and chatting watching films etc. This time though things started getting a bit more physical and she stripped off the buttons on my shirt and started feeling me out, and then she put her hand down my trousers and well you can guess the rest. After a few minutes she stopped and just said what do you want? I was like what do you mean?

she repeated exactly the same and I asked her to explain. I then told her that I'd like to hang out get to know her and see if we can make a relationship out of it. She seemed to want the same thing too and she told me she was gaining trust in me.

We cuddled up for the night and then as I was leaving we kissed and talked about how we both like each other.

 

Two days later she invited me around again and she rested her head on my shoulder and we cuddled up etc.

As i was about to leave things got a bit physical and as we were kissing she pulled off my jeans and then went down on me.

Then asked me if I was ready and we made it happen in her front room on the sofa. I was a nit nervous both of my performance and what would happen from after having sex.

After we had sex we talked for a bit and then kissed and I went home.

 

This of course is where things have gone strange.

She's stopped making an attempt to contact me but was replying to my txts until thursday. For the last 3 days she has ignored 3 texts and I have tried to phone her and she ignored the call, I asked her if she wanted to go to the cinema tmrw, i'm still awaiting an answer.

I have lot's of thoughts, like was the sex bad and she doesnt want to tell me, was I just a 1 night stand that took 5 nights to achieve.

Have I become to clingy by telling her I liked her and was it too much contact in a week ?

 

I know It's best to just carry on and leave her be, but it's left me wondering !!

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David Mac Rookie

David Mac

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There are signs that get my old brain thinking.

Firstly on the 3rd date she held my hand and then put my finger on her arm and said feel that?

It was weird but she explained that it was an implant for pregnancy.

Also she said that she is wary of meeting men, but then told me how a guy she saw once from southampton was very nice in person but ugly and she had to pay for a taxi so that he could get home from her house!

 

Would someone that plays the game really put in so much effort over a week, talking so openly about them and their family and their ambitions etc just to get laid once and then forget about you?

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ToF Enthusiast

ToF

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I bet she'll come around again at some point, so between now and then you'll need to decide whether you'd want to see her again. Of course, it'd be with the understanding that it would not lead to anything more than casual sex/dating here and there.

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OrangeMoon Contributor

OrangeMoon

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I wouldnt want to mess with her again..but hey i'm a woman. Not responding to your test is plain disrespectful to me.. unless you feel you have nothing else going on and are in it just for the nooky..go ahead.

 

But this world.... How are we ever going to truly connect if we keep playing these games with one another (end rant ;-))

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David Mac Rookie

David Mac

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I've deleted her number now. I did treat her well and we def had chemistry and similar interests but hey I can't blame myself for her ignorance.

You are right Broken, It seems to be how things work these days, maybe i'm just still old skool or too honest, But a few months ago when i was dating a girl after 3weeks i wasn't feeling it, But i didnt run away I met up with her and explained that I just didn't think things would work out and let her be.

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ToF Enthusiast

ToF

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I've deleted her number now. I did treat her well and we def had chemistry and similar interests but hey I can't blame myself for her ignorance.

You are right Broken, It seems to be how things work these days, maybe i'm just still old skool or too honest, But a few months ago when i was dating a girl after 3weeks i wasn't feeling it, But i didnt run away I met up with her and explained that I just didn't think things would work out and let her be.

 

It sounds like you're an honest, decent and considerate guy. That last one is a little tricky to come by, at least in my experience.

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superfox Apprentice

superfox

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How many other men have been invited to meet her son on the first date?! sorry but i hate that. For a woman who has 'issues' with men she certainly doesn't seem to mind inviting them into her home alone with her and her young son. She sounds a bit skanky...imo...and the implant only means she won't get pregnant, you can however catch something.

 

PoF in the uk is pretty well known for being a hook up site. i know there are genuine people on it but I also know for a fact there are a lot of divorcees' and single mums who DO use it purely for sex. i know, they've told me. I was on it for a while before I was told! And the amount of messages i got from guys wanting sex, hook ups, from married men and from 2 guys wanting me to be their dominatrix (and paying me for it!), it's a weird place.

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David Mac Rookie

David Mac

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Im a real genuine loyal guy, that . I have never cheated on anyone, but have been cheated on.

Unfortunately due to my lack of experience with dating I never seem to see warning signs until it's too late.

But one thing that never fails is my gut instinct and from the 3rd date I chose to ignore it.

 

I put this recent experience down as a learning curve that was fun but had a harsh ending. I wouldnt have minded if she said Dave I only want sex what do you want?

Or Dave I don't think you should see me anymore blah blah blah. Instead she treated me like I was just like the rest of the guys that just want a ....

 

I'm more disappointed because she was really funny and had an amazing personality and we had such great conversations. She did explain to me that her ex was a bit mental but very clever with it, she told me how when her son was about 3 months old the ex raised a clenched fist to him. She of course has prevented him from seeing her son bar supervised visits on a sunday at her parents house. To which he rarely makes an attempt to see him.

 

So maybe she's on a downer with respect for men, maybe my performance sucked and she just finds it easier to ignore me who knows?

I just know that her problems are too great and I've learnt quite a lot from dating her.

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David Mac Rookie

David Mac

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Thanks I used to use match but it became quite expensive,

I've been thinking of giving up with online dating and just concentrating on myself and friends etc for a bit.

This year I've had a 7month relationship and dated 3 girls so havent done bad for a baldy

I hate being single around the nov-jan time though especially more so xmas day as its my birthday and I need some loving on that day .

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