Silko Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 So I have been reading this forum for well over 2 weeks now and I believe there are alot of honest and caring people here. So I wanted to post my situation and see if I could receive some insight from everyone. Thanks in adance. My ex and I were best friends in high school. She dated my best friend and the time and so she was off limits to me. However, our friendship grew nonetheless. After high school we lost contact for a good while. Skip forward 15 years and I have went through a divorce and so has she. She has 2 children and I have none. We met back up through facebook and decided to hangout with some friends of ours from years past. Long story short she feel for me hard and really pushed for our relationship. I had just removed myself from a prior relationship and was needing time for myself. Instead I only took a month and jumped right into this with my friend. So over the 3 year course of our relationship, we lived together, lost a child together and I feel in love with her and her children. However, my own insecurities from my previous divorce began to pop up causing a wedge to come in between us. I also was working full-time and trying to start a busy on the side. So I spent so much time working that when I did arrive home, she would have the children in bed with her and I would head to the couch. She had spent the prior 6 years before me, learning to be a single mother and so she was so wrapped up in her children that she was unable to really reach out and help me. She is a really sexually driven woman and she was not getting what she needed from me at the time. So the wedge grew larger to a point where she finally came to me stating that she felt we had become roomates doing what roommates do and paying bills. We had gotten engaged, but we never pulled the trigger for the marriage. So we decided to mutually split and part as friends as we were the best of friends. She was adamant that I stay in her life and the girls life and come and see our dog and not go "invisible". So I got a new place and began to try and move forward with my life with my friend. That was in August. However, the friend thing began to actually cause me more harm than good. I realized that I could live without them, but that I honestly loved them and wanted to spent the rest of my life with her. So I told her that I could no longer be just her friend as I still loved her and that she no longer felt the same way. She stated that she did still love me, but she knew we were not right for each other. She stated that we made better friends than lovers. I was so broken hearted that I just went away for a few weeks to try and gather my thoughts and work through this. During that time, we would talk once in a while either through email, text or over the phone. Now it has gotten to the point of being only via email and only if I initiate the contact were she is cordial and collected. Sometimes taking an hour or more before responding. We dont discuss the relationship, but her cousin talked to her on my behalf wanting to know where she stood with me and she stated that she just wanted to move on. I am a wreck at this point, but trying to hold it together around her. I am very calm and collected as I have to be strong. She will be in my life in some fashion for a long time to come as I went into business with her brother. The thing is there is no one else in her life currently and she seems content with her and her children (when her ex-husband doesnt have them). Her family all loves me and are really broken up over our break up. It has been such a tough time. The bottom line is that I have spent the last 2 months working on my own insecurities and learning to be a better man and lover, but I long for my friend and what truly has been my soul mate for over 25 years. I miss her so. I plan to go by and get our dog for a day in the park tomorrow, but she wont be there. She is taking her children to the movies, I suppose to intentually not see me. So my question is this, I realize that my problems and our problems caused the demise of the realtionship and I am diligently working to resolve those. I am just wanting some insight from others on what to do with her. I have the patience of job and am willing to wait for her, but will her heart ever change back for me and should I do anything more than I currently am? Link to comment
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