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Signs they aren't happy in the relationship with you anymore? Or...


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You can't depend on their word anymore: as in, they said they would call but they don't, they start flaking out on you, they start keeping little secrets from you

They stop talking about your shared future

They start looking at you differently

They start planning trips/holidays with their friends or alone and don't include you, or seem anxious that you want to join

They enjoy being physically intimate but not emotionally intimate

They suddenly start talking about how busy they are--big one, everyone is busy but we always make time for our loved ones : )

They no longer include you in family functions

They no longer ask for your advice--on their education, career, etc.

They don't seem to care what you think of them

They get angry about really small things, fights escalate quickly--BIG ONE also

Efforts to be pleasant by you agitate them even more--A very bad sign

They don't seem to enjoy going out to eat/special events with you

They start pointing out your flaws more

They look longingly at single people/attractive people lol

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What are your reasons for thinking this?


Things have just felt "different" between us for the last few months. All this time I thought it was me, and that I was the unhappy one in the relationship. But I think I came to the realization that he's the one that isn't happy anymore, and I'm picking up on it which is making me sad all the time. We got into an argument Sunday night, and I told him I was upset because I felt like he hasn't been making as much of an effort and doing sweet things for me. He said he wasn't doing these things because things have felt "different" to him for the last few months. He said he has felt this way because I've been more snappy and irritable with him. He said he feels different now? Which he didn't really elaborate too much on, but basically what I understood is he still loves me and wants to be with me, but hasn't felt like being super romantic and lovey-dovey because of my attitude. My attitude has been bad because he hasn't been doing these things. So it's kind of a vicious cycle. But now I'm really starting to believe his feelings are fading and he doesn't love me as much as he used to. I believe he certainly doesn't love me as much as I love him.

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Something that people should always remember - is that people love differently. Someone "loving you as much as" you love them is often an unfair tag to pin them with, and thinking that WILL make you unhappy in an otherwise happy situation. Love someone to the best of your ability, and let them do the same. If your needs are not being met, talk to them. If your love types are incompatible, then maybe it IS time to cut them loose. But the "he doesn't love me as much as I love him" way of looking at things will nearly always lead to heartache.


Keeping the lines of communication open is important.


The previous things listed as to signs that they may be unhappy are good for the most part, and give you an idea what to look for. It sounds like you guys have had at least one conversation. You need to continue to do so until you guys reach a solution that is workable for you both. Put a voice to the things you're missing. Pay attention to what HE'S missing too. It takes work, and both parties have to make the effort.


If you can't or don't, or he can't or doesn't, then you need to evaluate where to go from there.

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  • 1 month later...

-They don't make efforts around the house anymore, apartment or house starts to look very messy.

-They don't do anymore groceries or invest for the relationship.

-They start to forget a lot, especially things they had to do for you or with you.

-They go out without you a whole week end day without calling to say when they will be back. (usually long hours)

-They feel trapped and need to escape and they tell you who is calling them on their phone especially if opposite sex so you don't suspect them cheating on you.

-They talk about the relationship with friends and family and expose intimate and personal stuff about you because they need exterior validation if they should continue or not.(Insecurity from their part).

-They always blame YOU, YOU are the problem, not them.

-They label you as antisocial and boring and all kinds of negative stuff, they see the glass half empty not half full.

-They compare you with their EX. They start talking about their EX's a lot.

-They start to play mind games, to test your confidence, to test your jealousy level.

-They use you or they try to manipulate you until the end, take what they need and then dump you.

-There is very frequent dinners with no conversation, nothing to say, no more laughter, just moments of silence.

-They start gathering personal belongings and start packing stuff, a clear sign they are ready to bail out on you.(a good riddance for those dating a messy person, lol)


the list can go on... but i will stop here...

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