Wonderland Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Sometimes I feel like this world is better off without me in it. I don't want to be here, only upsetting people. I don't think I can bring myself to actually kill myself, but I think about how much better it would be if I could just disappear. Just me and my dogs. No one to upset. No one to tell me I'm "too much to put up with". No one to anger. Every man in my life has told me in one form or another that I am abnormal, annoying, a waste of space... My real dad told me he's glad he didn't have custody of my "annoying ass". My stepdad told me as a teenager that my "only objective is to annoy everyone" I come accross. I think I've outraged/frustrated every boyfriend I've ever had to the point of no return. If they only knew all I wanted was some reassurance. Suppose I do annoy even my dogs. At least I'd never find out. What I'd really like is to go home, go to bed, and never wake up. Link to comment
BeMyEscape Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 "Sometimes I feel like this world is better off without me in it. I don't want to be here, only upsetting people. I don't think I can bring myself to actually kill myself, but I think about how much better it would be if I could just disappear. Just me and my dogs. No one to upset. No one to tell me I'm "too much to put up with". No one to anger." I really feel this way too. It's so depressing. How long have you been feeling this for? Link to comment
Wonderland Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 It comes and it goes. Peaks mainly after I've rediscovered what a problem I am. Link to comment
Anthony01 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 I'm curious as to why everyone thinks you annoy them? Can you give some more detail, so this can be put into context? I would really like to understand your situation better, so I can be of help to you. I noticed that in your message you talked about all the men in your life. Is it your perception that it is only the men who feel this way about you? Link to comment
nsomnia912 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 self reflection is the killer of all egos. you seem to have put much emphasis on how others portray you and thus you have developed into that portrayal. my question is... why give 2 about what others think of you? who are they? itfor the 8 is not their life, nor is it their responsibility to live it. for the 8 billion people that have you to believe you are what they see you to be.. theres anotother 40 billion who feel like you do. the difference is.. those 8 billion have nothing else going for them but to shame and bring down another. while the other 40 billion you do not know about because they do not live their lives based on anothers principles . think about what you like to do and do it. think about how you want to feel then feel it. understand who you are in this world and be it. only then will you understand your own uniqueness and your individuality, and once you know you are not just like everyone else... but allow yourself to act as if your better than those common ignorance's, you will feel better about life. " I never asked it to be easy, I just need to know its possible" Link to comment
MissyMolly Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Suppose I do annoy even my dogs. At least I'd never find out. What I'd really like is to go home, go to bed, and never wake up. I'm with ya sister. Although, I think my dog is the ONLY one who REALLY appreciates me, so my hunch is, your dogs adore you too. THank goodness for pets; it's people that really get me down. I've had a hard time too lately. So I can completely relate to your post. I had a moment this week where all I could think about was ending it or running away, and the only thing I could focus on was "Who can take care of my dog if I go?" THAT got me scared. I am better today - perspective and a bottle of wine made me realize that I had panicked a bit 2 days ago because of my uncertain circumstances. Today, nothing has changed in my circumstances, NOTHING, but I suddenly thought, "I can BEAT this! I dont know how yet, but I know I CAN." My best to you, and everyone else out there who is struggling. It is a scary place to be, for certain. Link to comment
Carus Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 "Lock your dog and your boyfriend/girlfriend in the boot of your car for an hour, then see which one is happy to see you"...! I love dogs.... Hang in there Wonderland* ~ As someone said above^^, try not to care what others think of you. There will ALWAYS be someone trying to bring you down no matter what you do, and it is usually a projection of how they feel about themselves....Ergo, best not to let them affect you* Life still expects something from you Wonderland...* Ever Forward Carus* 8-) Link to comment
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