Need Suggestions for "date"

[SuperDuper]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm 22 and recently fell for this girl in class. We just finished the course (1 month long).

 

We've gone out drinking/dancing already once with her roommate and my roommate joining us.

We studied together a lot for the exam, and now that we've both passed I suggested we go celebrating.

 

She agreed and we decided on a day later in the week...

 

So I was wondering where should we go?

 

I think we should keep it relatively cheap/easy and upbeat... so maybe a pub?

I'm not sure if she plans on bringing friends but I'd prefer if it's just the two of us... any thoughts?

 

My plan is to figure this out and let her know the day-of or night before.

 

Any suggestions or advice would be appreciated!

 

Thank you.

[Galaxo]

Going celebrating and going on a date is not the same thing. They can be combined, but one does not equal the other. Suggest you clarify to her what going celebrating means to you.

[SuperDuper]

Very true, I suggested we go "celebrating" as I thought it was a relevant way to meet up again. It's not a date, you're right.

A pint at the local pub could be in celebration but also a good way to get to know each other.

 

 

So... any suggestions where to go in this situation? I'm not sure what she's expecting either... (as in bringing friends or not)..

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'd try to make sure it was just the two of you. Since you've known each other and spent a lot of time together, I'd suggest you do something more intimate to establish that it's a date. A nice wine bar or maybe going to a nice place to eat for desert if you don't want to spend a lot. I'd let her know at least the night before where you plan on going (so she can be psych'd up and have time to plan). And, if she says "oh, can I invite xxxx", say "well, I was thinking it could just be the two of us". That will let her know that this is actually a date.

 

Good luck and don't psych yourself out too much. You already know a lot about her and what she likes to do, so there is a lot less pressure than if you were to go in blind.

[SuperDuper]

Thanks a lot, that made me feel better.

I'm just thinking that if I were to suggest that just the two of us meet up it may turn her off... but I guess if that was the case she wasn't interested anyways, so whatever.

 

I was also thinking a dessert bar would be a good place, but that doesn't really coincide with the whole "celebration" thing.

 

Thanks again for any input, I'm very gracious.

[Galaxo]

If you want a date, ask for a date. Tell her, lets make it a date and it just us two go out together and we can celebrate as well. Worst she can say is no, then your not there under false pretense wondering what is or is not going to happen. Sounds like your trying to go through a backdoor, it will be obvious to her...

 

Get a date, if your in a decent sized town post her interests and where you are at for some specific ideas.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Thanks a lot, that made me feel better.

I'm just thinking that if I were to suggest that just the two of us meet up it may turn her off... but I guess if that was the case she wasn't interested anyways, so whatever.

 

I was also thinking a dessert bar would be a good place, but that doesn't really coincide with the whole "celebration" thing.

 

Thanks again for any input, I'm very gracious.

 

Eventually she needs to realize this is a date. She either likes you or she doesn't. If you suggesting just the two of you meet and she is turned off, she doesn't like you romantically and there is nothing you can do differently to change that. You've known her all semester and spent a good amount of time together (granted it was studying but most of my study buddies ended up being my closet friends) so, it's not like she doesn't know you well enough.

 

Celebration is just an excuse to go out. I honestly think that's a good way to lead into meeting outside of class. It's fun, light, and can mean a lot of things. Desert is celebration in my book. It's the kind of approach I would like anyway.

[SuperDuper]

We both enjoy our fair share of alcohol so I'm sure we'll go out for a drink somewhere.

I just really into her so I want to make progress but am not really sure what she's feeling so I don't want to rush things... I suppose.

 

I'm quite talkative so I feel if we're able to go out and socialize (as opposed to a movie, club, etc.) I'll do myself some good.

 

Sorry for the rant I'm just trying to approach this "meeting" the best way possible

 

 

EDIT: Just read your post Cognitive_Canine, would you think it would be appropriate to say something like " I was thinking that the two of us could could grab some dessert then a drink or something, there's a place on ______ Street that I know of "...

 

 

She just may want to go out and get hammered though, I really have no idea!

[Galaxo]

You have known her for a month. Your not rushing things asking for a date, a month is a LONG time. Where do you stand right now with her? You do not know. You should have some clue from your interactions so far, asking will make it very clear to her what you want, and to you where you stand.

 

Its like this. She likes you and says yes. She does not like you and says no. If it is a no, nothing you say or do is going to turn it into a yes. It has been a month, she has already decided which it is by now.

[Cognitive_Canine]

We both enjoy our fair share of alcohol so I'm sure we'll go out for a drink somewhere.

I just really into her so I want to make progress but am not really sure what she's feeling so I don't want to rush things... I suppose.

 

I'm quite talkative so I feel if we're able to go out and socialize (as opposed to a movie, club, etc.) I'll do myself some good.

 

Sorry for the rant I'm just trying to approach this "meeting" the best way possible

 

 

EDIT: Just read your post Cognitive_Canine, would you think it would be appropriate to say something like " I was thinking that the two of us could could grab some dessert then a drink or something, there's a place on ______ Street that I know of "...

 

 

She just may want to go out and get hammered though, I really have no idea!

 

Yeah, that sounds great. If she and you enjoy your sauce, try and pick a bar that focuses more on quality beer and atmosphere. That way you can actually talk! Later in the night you can dance but you're going to want the face time to flirt and get comfortable.

[SuperDuper]

Thanks for all the responses, I'll take a look at some cool bars around here and make my choice!

 

Cheers

[Galaxo]

Sigh, guess I should had checked your previous threads.

 

Confused where you stand? Easy solution to find out. Why put yourself through something needlessly.

 

I seen before your edit, you said you got flustered? by pretty girls. Being flustered, intimidated, scared, nervous, unsure of yourself etc.. is NOT attractive. It is easy to be confident and sure of yourself if you know by not hiding what you want and how she thinks of you.

 

You are making it more likely to get rejected by trying not to get rejected. Still the same in the end either way if that is how it is going to be.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Sigh, guess I should had checked your previous threads.

 

Confused where you stand? Easy solution to find out. Why put yourself through something needlessly.

 

I seen before your edit, you said you got flustered? by pretty girls. Being flustered, intimidated, scared, nervous, unsure of yourself etc.. is NOT attractive. It is easy to be confident and sure of yourself if you know by not hiding what you want and how she thinks of you.

 

You are making it more likely to get rejected by trying not to get rejected. Still the same in the end either way if that is how it is going to be.

 

I read through the thread and don't think that not sending one message and not replying to another immediately means she's not interested. For one, she said she'd text him if she got home early, she didn't so she didn't text him.

 

I get text messages all the time that I can't reply to right away (usually I'm driving). And, since the little message indicator doesn't show up after I see that I got a message, I will often forget to respond right away. Writing someone off who has otherwise shown interest due to a couple missed text messages (one which was a possibility of happening) seems silly.

[Galaxo]

I did not say she was not interested. I have plowed through much worse lol, meeting women downtown and wanting them to go out as soon as they get off and they are heading home.

 

Did you notice the thread title he put himself? He put that after knowing her almost a month, going to class with her, going out to drink with her, and studying with her. One more meeting and he is going to get unconfused? No, he is going to get friendzoned if he keeps doing what he has been doing.

[chitown9]

I think karioke bars are fun!

[SuperDuper]

To clarify, she did actually end up texting me back the other day... just 2 days later.

I told her I was heading downtown and we'd speak later.

 

She then texted me yesterday to see if I passed the course (we both passed) so I suggested we go celebrate.

 

How do I avoid being "friend-zoned"... I'm quite flirtatious with her, keep eye contact, etc.

I'll also suggest that we go back to my place after drinks or something? Her response/body language should give me some information.

 

It's pretty hard to see where I stand with her seeing how we mainly hung out in a classroom setting and only once outside of class.

 

Thanks for keeping up with my situation!

[Cognitive_Canine]

The friendzone is for people that the person just doesn't like romantically. You really can't get help if she likes you or not.

 

If the night goes well, I think you should ask her back to your place for movies. Just read her body language throughout the night and decide if she is having a good time. If she doesn't want to come over, don't worry too much about it. It could just mean she feels pressured or isn't up for it.

[Galaxo]

By being clear through your words and/or actions what you want. Keep trying to move things forward until you have what you want. Sure you will be rejected at times, at least you know where you stand. IE, outright "we will never have sex" (yeah, I have heard it several times, not always true but I knew where I stood and what I was dealing with), not interested, not yet, holding hands yet wont let you kiss her (yet...) etc.

 

How many posts do you see where a guy or girl asking what other people think the person they want thinks? Many, and every last one of them boils down to not willing to be rejected. Rejection is not a bad thing. How many times have you applied for a job and not got it? You was rejected! Your still here, there is no permanent scars from it, you found a job elsewhere.

 

You will never get something you never ask for verbally and/or through your actions.

 

CC says it is for people the person does not like romantically. I agree to a point, although at times, there was interest but she became frustrated or got tired of waiting etc, and that is the reason they are no longer interested. Ex. Have a woman in your bed wanting sex, dont give it to her. You are done, she will never be willing again. She was interested, was... That is a most extreme case, but it applies all the way from the start as well.

[camus154]

I stand by what I said in the other thread--sadly I don't think this gal is into you "like that". If she was, you'd know it by now. I think she's either going to bail on hanging out or she'll definitely bring friends along for the ride. If you mean for this to be a proper date, then you need to make that quite clear--and I wouldn't wait until the day of to do it. Good luck!