blueidealist24 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I am really tired of men and the games they play.. at least with me. Recently this guy from high school started talking to me online. I think I was stupid to talk to this guy again, since I've had problems with him in the past. Twice, he said (online) that he wanted me to date him, but then when I told him I wasn't going to have sex on the first date (he made comments implying that's what we would be doing), he all of a sudden 'got busy' and disappeared. He did this once when I was 16 (I initiated talking with him on msn then because I thought he was cute), and then again when I was 20, saying he'd missed his chance the first time and saying he wanted to be a real bf.. the second time I added him to facebook because I add anyone from high school and I'd just got facebook, but he initiated the talking. Anyway, the first time he bailed on a date but continued to try to talk to me online (I ignored him and he whined about it, saying he waited online for me all day), I blocked him, and the second time we got in a big argument and blocked each other, never to talk again for four years. I just got POF and I saw him on there so I looked at his profile out of curiosity. This was about a month ago. He started messaging me on there. At first he pretended to be a stranger, but I told him rather quickly I knew who he was. Anyway, he's started making sexual comments and saying it would be nice if I went on the webcam in lingerie - I refused. I don't say anything that indicates I could be interested in him, because of how he bailed in the past, and actually have mentioned other guys from POF or real life on purpose to make him think that I'm not at all interested. I'm not actually sure if I even am, I shouldn't be when he bailed on me before, even if it was a few years ago. He said he doesn't really remember what he did a few years ago but he was sorry for being rude. However, I think he's really just acting the same again.. trying to just be an online guy. He doesn't live in the same town as me anymore, but he said he was going to come into my work at Dairy Queen when he came home. He never showed up though but talked to me online when he got home, saying sorry.. he initiates a conversation online with me for like hours most days and he is kinda entertaining so I have to admit I do talk.. but it's the same old story, won't meet offline. He does go out with POF people in his own town (4 hours away) though, so I don't get why he's afraid of going out with me or doesn't want to even though he said I'm attractive! He did say once he was afraid of some girls but not others, but I don't know why I'm 'scary'. He's sort of shy but I just want to know why I fall in the 'scary' category.. if he didn't like me at all he would just never talk to me, I think.. but another time he said when he bailed on me the second time, four years ago that it sounded like I was looking for something serious and he wanted to have fun. That might still be the case. A friend told me he was probably just going to continue talking online and never meet me in person (I haven't seen him since HIGH SCHOOL), so I should just cut all contact - I'm actually angry with him now, so I feel like doing that. I got mad last night and asked if this set-up date he's going out with this week is better looking than me. He said no, we were both attractive but then how come he'll go out with her and not me, I'm still wondering. He's not like an extremely hot guy, only average like I am so it's not like he has hot girls falling all over him. Anyway he kept saying I should come to his town and do stuff with him, and I kept saying 'ask your date on Thursday instead' and I thought that would piss him off and he'd leave but he didn't. I want to ignore him but he'll probably send me messages asking me why I'm not talking to him anymore and whining that I'm cute and he wants me to talk to him or something and I'll end up caving. So, what should I do? lol. Btw I think I have some personality flaw that makes guys only want to talk to me online. I am rather reserved in person.. I have asked them if it's because they find me ugly and they said no, I am cute.. so it's gotta be something to do with personality if they will talk to other girls in person more. Or else they just think they're not going to get sex so it's not worth really taking me out (I have a reputation as a prude, sort of - I'm 25 and a virgin and have turned a lot of men down for sex before. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 When a guy is repeatedly trying to use you for sex or get you semi-naked on cam--and you aren't interested--it isn't a good idea to keep giving him chances to seduce you. As you've already seen, his approaches are going to keep changing, but he isn't going to change. Unless you want him as a FWB, move on. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 That's the thing. If you set your standards high from the beginning, people like this guy won't even be able to get to you. You would have filtered him out ages ago, and he wouldn't even be in the picture. And we are talking about a guy that's been around since 4 years ago. Come on. Time to invest your time and interest in some decent guys who do want to take you out, and who won't cut and run when you tell them your a virgin. They are out there if you look hard enough. Link to comment
calichick007 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Please block him. He is so clearly not interested in you for anything other than sex, and the only reason he continues to jerk you around is because you continue to let him. How many years will you allow him to disrespect you?? And please stop asking men if they find you ugly, if the women they choose to date are more attractive than you are, etc. I have no doubt that the reason you keep running into guys who treat you poorly is because (1) your self-esteem is low, and (2) you advertise your low self-esteem right upfront by asking those sorts of questions. If the men in your life know you don't think much of yourself, how do you expect them to think of you? Link to comment
XxJustMexX Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Honey, you're not sick of men, you're sick of boys... Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Btw, he tried to talk to me this afternoon right after I came on and I ignored him. The reason I'm wasting my time with him is because my dating pool has narrowed a lot since I left university. My self-esteem is sort of low now, lower than it was before because I haven't found a good job after graduating and am still working at one of my student jobs (Dairy Queen). Link to comment
laura40 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Delete him out of your life. He hasn't met you once in 4 years and he's constantly flaking on you, which is not a good sign. Why do you want to waste time on him? He's obviously meeting other women and really doesn't have any respect for you. It might also sound like he's after some camera fun too, especially when he tried to make you pose on cam in your underwear. Link to comment
agatha Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Honey, you're not sick of men, you're sick of boys... I second that. Link to comment
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