Getting back together with the girl i belong with

[dabbledave]

TR3,

 

I empathise with you. Three months after BU for about three weeks I built up a lot of unrealistic hope (nay, expectation) in reconciliation after a three-hour meeting which included physical intimacy.

 

And, like you, I believed my ex and I were meant to be together; that we were soulmates. And because we weren't together and my reaching out to her after that meeting met resistance it caused me great anxiety. It was doing my head in.

 

I needed to do something. What I needed to do was go through a process of letting go, which I documented here: .

 

It may be helpful to you.

 

DD

[Glowguy]

TR3, you will see if you read around here that your situation is actually extremely typical. I guarantee if you read around these forums you will see language that is almost identical to yours about how special and unique the relationship was and that the breakup came from out of the blue. The truth is that you are not seeing things objectively - we are though. Your situation is not unique and this person is not your soulmate. There is absolutely zilch you can do to convince your ex to give it another chance. She may come to that conclusion herself but the chances are very very small and it will take lots of time. By acting the way you did after the break up you probably killed any chance of that happening and she likely lost whatever respect she had for you.

 

I know the advice here seems harsh at times, but it is for your own good. Her communication to you was hardly significant. It was the tiniest of breadcrumbs phrased in such a away as to elicit no further communication. That is really what she wants and you should respect that and move on. It's always difficult and I'm still not fully recovered after 10 months (although I'm very close now). This may just turn out to be the best thing that's happened to you. Have faith in yourself and you'll do just fine.

 

Best of luck!

[LightInTheSky]

Ok TR3 there's a lot to talk about here:

 

And this may be a little counter productive to what the other are telling you and I may get some slaps on the wrist for what may seem like giving you false hope but you seem to be hurting right now so take these as comfort words, like ice-cream for the mind.

 

First off I believe you when you say you THINK she is your soulmate.

 

Secondly you broke up 4 months ago, so what in the time have you done for your self? Have you done any new activities or hobbies? travel? I know it seems like all you can think about is your ex but for the time being you need to concentrate on distracting your self. Personally I tried scuba diving when my relationship exploded and it truly helped.

 

Thirdly, EgoJoe is right, you need to take your spare time in the next few days and starting reading threads. It will help, no one thread will be your relationship, however in many different threads you will start to see parts of your relationship and it will all start to make sense.

 

Fourthly, even though she may be your soulmate she DID leave you for some reason. And now you have to figure out what that reason is WITHOUT contacting her. It may not be your actions in the relationship, for me one of the things my ex told me when he broke-up with me was that we didn't have any summer activities in common because I didn't wakeboard, and that was BS, the truth was I had lost the sense of adventure that had attracted him to me in the beginning. I figured that out through self reflection and trying new things, now you need to take this time apart from her to reflect and improve who you are.

 

Fifth, as you read more success stories on hear of people getting back together you will realize that the most important thing that comes up again and again is that the dumpee (you) only has a chance of reconciliation when they have truly come to peace with the idea that their ex may not come back. I know, I know, seems counter productive when what you want is to get your ex back but its what has to happen. That doesn't mean u won't miss her sometimes, but it does mean you won't long for her anymore. Take this as an opportunity to have some fun and do some crazy stuff that most 20-somethings are doing.

 

Lastly, and most importantly, DON"T CONTACT HER. She may contact you one day and trust me, it will mean so much more when she contacts you instead of you contacting her. Yes I know, she texted you back this time... 2 DAYS LATER. And she did that because at one point she cared for you deeply and she probably still cares about you on some level. Clearly she needs more space than just 4 months, when she is ready she will contact you and if you have followed points 2 and 4 then you will be in a much safer place to receive her contact. If she is truly your soulmate she will come back on her own. But keep your options open, don't close yourself off to other people. If having some hope is what will help you start to truly heal then ok, that might be what you need at this moment, one day you won't need it anymore, but until then let ENA help you.

[Awoken]

Everyone here has some VERY valid experience in these situation. You should take their knowledge on board. And they are absolutely right, have a good look around the site and read, read, read. I am on week 5 of my BU, was with my ex for 4 years, out of the blue, blah, blah, blah, same old story. It does feel terrible not to contact them or talk to them AND you think that if they could just see how much you have changed they will come back...you just have to be patient and don't push. Some material that has helped me was by a great guy; Al Turtle, find his site online. Very good information for you. Good luck with your healing.

[TR3]

Thank you for your long message. To answer some of your questions:

 

After we broke up, I traveled Eastern Europe and I am planing a trip to the middle east in January, I reconciled with lost friends, started working out, went fishing many times, got a new job, working for a non-profit, getting my career in order.

 

The thing is, I did objectively look into the relationship and I see the things that were there that shouldn't have been there, and I see the things we both were doing that were good, but not healthy in the long run. I honestly, can say that I know what went wrong and I know if we ever gave it a chance, we both would not make the same mistakes and the dynamic of the relationship would be difficult. I know the reasons, thats why I texted her after I couldn't hold out anymore as well as when I figured out exactly what went wrong.

 

As for your last point, I broke down and had to text her on our would have been anniversary. To my surprise she responded, then I responded also with a couple day delay, however, yesterday, when I responded to her, she responded right away, without the 2 day delay. Do you think that is something to be happy about? A step in the right direction? If she wanted nothing to do with me, she wouldn't be answering, especially after ignoring me for so long. Thats why I feel that her responding right away, means something.

 

 

I know my story is similar to others, but I can honestly say that I really love the girl and I want to spend my life with her. Only person I want to be with.

[TR3]

Everyone here has some VERY valid experience in these situation. You should take their knowledge on board. And they are absolutely right, have a good look around the site and read, read, read. I am on week 5 of my BU, was with my ex for 4 years, out of the blue, blah, blah, blah, same old story. It does feel terrible not to contact them or talk to them AND you think that if they could just see how much you have changed they will come back...you just have to be patient and don't push. Some material that has helped me was by a great guy; Al Turtle, find his site online. Very good information for you. Good luck with your healing.

 

I hope you are doing on and are keeping strong. I use to be a huge believer in that you should fight for what is worth having. However, this site makes me thing otherwise.

[mrtango]

"It didn't happen overnight. It might feel that way for you, but she's been thinking about it for a while, and just got the strength to do it."

I am so sorry to admit it but I think Angler is right. It's a decision about her feelings and she "decided" that she "feels" that way. So like any other decision, it's not made up in a second. I think she analysed it. Maybe she will regret it but nobody can know it for sure because we don't have gift to predict future...

I hope you will be well and I hope that everything will be as you wish...

Good luck...

[TR3]

since she started texting me, we exchanged 2 texts each and i left the last one without responding. I want to talk to her so bad, I want to ask her for coffee and see her or just continue talking via text maybe she will soften up to me.

 

In your opinion, since step 1 was complete, breaking the NC, what would be the best way to start talking and hopefully end up together? I truly love this girl and I would move heaven and earth to be with her. I understand it will take time, however, I am ready to live my life and "do me" but I will always hope we will end up together. Can you please give me some help on what to do to get her back? Should I not respond to her previous text or should I wait a few weeks then text her? What do I say?

 

Help

[winniethepooh]

I hope you are doing on and are keeping strong. I use to be a huge believer in that you should fight for what is worth having. However, this site makes me thing otherwise.

Well, yes, but sometimes fighting for it only makes it worse. Imagine two people wrestling as a sport. While both are involved, that's fine. But if one stops, what happens when the other keeps wrestling? The other just gets more and more irritated and the urge to run away increases.

 

Not sure that makes sense. It sounded ok when I thought about it.

[winniethepooh]

about 4 months back, my gf of almost 2 years, called me out of the blue, and broke up with me on the phone.

If she broke up with you on the phone, then I think that's a possible indication there was something more going on than she wanted to tell you. Unless there was a logistical reason for not meeting you (LDR or in another country temporarily for example), it comes accross as though she was afraid to meet you face to face. Are you intimidating to her? Could she have been afraid you might successfully change her mind?

 

 

I was obviously a mess, and even though I am healing, I still think about her every day.

Oh yes, so do I ... I mean about my ex though, not yours

 

trying to talk and get info and advice out of her friends

Bad idea. Hope you stopped that.

 

She responded 2 days later, and said that yes it was going well and hope that I am doing good as well. Her text was worded in such a way that didnt ask a question and didnt invite for a continuation of a conversation.

If she responded like that after a period of time, and you want to assume she was thinking about it, then it looks to me like she was trying to think of a way to respond which was polite but not in a way to encourage hope that she wanted to get back together. It sounded friendly to me at best.

 

I really would like to show her, that in the time we were apart, I really reflected on our relationship and i saw the things we both did wrong. I understand that they way we were, wasnt healthy and wasnt good for us in the long run. I want to show her this and hopefully give it another chance.

The best way to do this is if she gives you an opportunity to do so. But it seems clear that that's not happening. And you initiating a conversation I think has made it less likely, not more. Sorry to say that

 

I was hopeless, until she wrote me back. She didnt have to be nice and didnt have to feel guilty after the way it ended, but I was on her mind for 2 days and then she wrote back. I dont know.

Your emotions are getting the better of you, you are looking for straws to clutch.

 

since she started texting me, we exchanged 2 texts each and i left the last one without responding.

What did the last one say?

 

I want to talk to her so bad, I want to ask her for coffee and see her or just continue talking via text maybe she will soften up to me.

Yes, I know the feeling. Maybe she will, probably she won't. I've read a lot of stories on ENA, I don't think I've read one where that worked in a situation similar to where you are, at least not long term.

 

In your opinion, since step 1 was complete, breaking the NC, what would be the best way to start talking and hopefully end up together?

Do nothing. Just keep moving on for yourself.

 

I truly love this girl and I would move heaven and earth to be with her.

If you really mean that, then respect her wish to be left alone.

 

I understand it will take time, however, I am ready to live my life and "do me"

Then keep doing that

 

but I will always hope we will end up together.

You don't know that. It's a feeling, and feelings can and do change.

 

Can you please give me some help on what to do to get her back?

Leave her alone and keep moving on for yourself.

 

Should I not respond to her previous text or should I wait a few weeks then text her? What do I say?

Why would you wait a few weeks? If you wait more than a day or two I think it just looks like you are deliberately playing games.

 

If there was something important to respond to (important for you, not her), then respond. If not, then forget it.

 

I think you're kind of screwed to be honest since you're the one who initiated contact and she didn't respond in any way that indicated she would be interested in talking about a relationship. It looked like the opposite to me.

 

Sure, you COULD invite her for a coffee but your motivation is going to mess you up (read all the stories from people who have tried). You should only consider inviting her for a coffee when you don't care whether she says yes or no, and if she says yes, you don't care whether she wants a relationship, friendship, or nothing.

[mrtango]

When you push her, she will ran away. you should continue NC for your own healing process not for get her back. If it's meant to be, she will come back when she wants. You can't push her...

 

Don't try to play mind games. Don't try anything when you're desperate. Because she will understand that you're so desperate... Women don't like that.

 

Coffee? Maybe when you're ready. Now she doesn't want to be with you and when you see her, this fact will devastate you. Women don't like devastated men.

 

So if you want to get her back, you can only rise the odds. It's not a sure thing. Because it's on her mind. And until now, men could not change someone's mind...

 

I understand that you love her deeply. I commend you for that. A man who loves and suffers, must respect her decisions.

 

Good luck to you...

[The Mouse]

i feel for your situation. All anyone can do is give you advise. There is no correct answer, what worked to get 1 couple back wont for the next etc. Ive been on here a few months looking and reading and decided to post last week looking for help. Ive accepted my breakup but cant accept its over for good either. However ill write the conclusion i have came to with mine and it may give you some perspective. Id also like other peoples opinions too as im on here for a reason

 

As said previously when a woman eventually has the courage to leave she has had the idea in her head for a long while deciding(that alone hurts but pretty much fact). Men however can split up without thinking it properly through therefore female dumpee's could rekindle in a shorter period of time. I think us men need to realise its not going to happen overnight and will be a long haul. Be careful of that when looking for hope from sucessful stories on here of people getting back together, it seems to be more beneficial for the woman.

 

Therefore the genuine NC and move on is pretty much the only option, both to get your head sorted and also properly leave the scene to let your ex have a proper chance to miss you.

I have read that in our situation ex's will probably feel the breakup is still fresh and will take longer than 4 months to start to miss us and for yourself it feels like its been 4 years.

 

I sensed my BU coming and when it came it was half a shock/half expected but things wernt right between us and i thought the time apart might actually be a benefit to us so i respected it. Ive stuck to NIC, my ex has reached out a couple of times, we even met once (though it was a waste of time from the getting back together point of view) so although we are on good terms and if i was to phone her justnow im sure she would be receiptive, not ackward and possibly quite pleasant but i know (or keep my mind thinking) shes not looking to get back together justnow so neither should I and any contact will act more of a push/pressure on her. Im also sure she loves me and still cares but justnow thats not enough!

 

Ive had to seriously concider that since its 3 months on she'll most definitly be dating if not seeing someone so my input is not welcomed (could be completely wrong) I think the best shot i have is to continue NC, i feel it will be much more worth while in the longrun. If she comes back it will be for the right reasons, if she doesnt ive stayed strong, kept my self respect and eventually i will meet someone else (though id sooner have a new relationship with the ex after learning from old mistakes).

 

So from you texting backwards and fowards to your ex i dont think it will be doing your feelings much good, she doesnt hate you so doesnt want to hurt you further either so shes chose not to ignore u + she will be naturally missing you too but your both wanting diffrent things, leave the scene and if your still wanting to get back together hope she eventually starts to come round to your way of thinking, if she wants to come back she will find a way.

[TR3]

Thank you for your response. To answer some of your questions and to ask you more:

 

I think she broke up over the phone because she knew if she did it in person, I would try to convince her otherwise and beg and please.

 

The last texted she sent was just her answering the questions I asked, and sent me details about the new job.

 

After she sent me a message and yelled at me, I did stop talking to her friends and I only sent them a message once, I wasnt constantly annoying them.

 

Why do you think that initiating a convo made it less likely that we will get back together? After talking and being so close for 2 years, 4 months seems like a long time. In the beginning of the BU she would ignore me, and did a damn good job for a while, now she is being responsive. I know she probably didnt text me back with the idea of getting back together. but just knowing that she is open to talking to me, gives me hope that I can show her what i learned and what a new relationship would be like.

 

I got advice from many people that are my friends to wait a few weeks and not to seem really eager, pushy, and desperate.

 

I know everyone is saying move on and forget it, but I just cant help but know that she is the person I want to spend my life with. If you were going to give me advice on how to get her back and not just tell me to move on, what would that advice be?

[TR3]

I am sorry to hear about your BU. I am hopping that she will turn around, I am hoping that if we hang out and not talk about the past and just talk and catch up, she will see that I did change and I learned a lot while being apart that I know a new relationship will be successful. I hope she can just fall back in love with me.

 

I do agree that women time to make a decision, making it irreversible. However, I do have experience when women make a decision without thinking and being rational.

[TR3]

When you push her, she will ran away. you should continue NC for your own healing process not for get her back. If it's meant to be, she will come back when she wants. You can't push her...

 

Don't try to play mind games. Don't try anything when you're desperate. Because she will understand that you're so desperate... Women don't like that.

 

Coffee? Maybe when you're ready. Now she doesn't want to be with you and when you see her, this fact will devastate you. Women don't like devastated men.

 

So if you want to get her back, you can only rise the odds. It's not a sure thing. Because it's on her mind. And until now, men could not change someone's mind...

 

I understand that you love her deeply. I commend you for that. A man who loves and suffers, must respect her decisions.

 

Good luck to you...

 

thank you! i agree with what you said. Basically, seeing her is a huge risk, either A- it can lead to re-falling back in love or B- it can remind me how much I love her and the fact that she doesnt want to be with me will destroy me.

[Glowguy]

That's the crux. The advice that gives you the best chance of getting her back is the same. You need to move on and forget her. SHE has to decide that SHE wants to get back together and the only way for her to do that is to leave her alone, give her infinite space, and let her come to that realization by missing what you had. We all know you want to get back together and she does too, but it takes two for that to happen. It will take a long damn time. Four months is nothing. If and when that time comes you will be in a much better position to decide if it's the right thing to do and you also seem much more attractive to her. But honestly she will have probably been through several rebounds by then and you will likely have lost interest.

[TR3]

That's the crux. The advice that gives you the best chance of getting her back is the same. You need to move on and forget her. SHE has to decide that SHE wants to get back together and the only way for her to do that is to leave her alone, give her infinite space, and let her come to that realization by missing what you had. We all know you want to get back together and she does too, but it takes two for that to happen. It will take a long damn time. Four months is nothing. If and when that time comes you will be in a much better position to decide if it's the right thing to do and you also seem much more attractive to her. But honestly she will have probably been through several rebounds by then and you will likely have lost interest.

 

I want her to have a rebound, so she can see how perfect her and I was.

[The Mouse]

I want her to have a rebound, so she can see how perfect her and I was.

 

Id be very careful what you wish for. If your on friendly terms while shes rebounding you'll be throwing her into the arms of someone else and giving her comfort too not rebuilding attraction:

 

 

After going through this post so far, has it give you any diffrent way of thinking? Have you taken any advice you will follow through with? Do you genuinely think you have a glimmer of hope from the communication you've had with her recently? what are you planning to do now?

[winniethepooh]

The last texted she sent was just her answering the questions I asked, and sent me details about the new job.

Ok, so there's nothing to respond to then.

 

After she sent me a message and yelled at me, I did stop talking to her friends and I only sent them a message once, I wasnt constantly annoying them.

Hmmmm. Sounds like an overly emotional response from her then.

 

Why do you think that initiating a convo made it less likely that we will get back together?

Because she decided to leave you. Whatever the validity or not of her reasons, she had some, and believed they were valid. Now she's got to work through her feelings that have resulted from the end of the relationship. If you initiate contact, you're prolonging the aftermath of the relationship, and delaying your recovery. You're also giving her the reassurance that you will be there as a friend if she wants it (she might, she might not).

 

I think you should wait until you have well and truly moved on from the relationship before initiating a conversation with her. And even if you think you are, give it another month or two before you do. If she initiates a conversation, that's a different story, depending on what she says.

 

After talking and being so close for 2 years, 4 months seems like a long time. In the beginning of the BU she would ignore me, and did a damn good job for a while, now she is being responsive. I know she probably didnt text me back with the idea of getting back together. but just knowing that she is open to talking to me, gives me hope that I can show her what i learned and what a new relationship would be like.

While you have that hope, I don't think it's a good idea to initiate contact. Doesn't matter how long the relationship or break-up lasted. If I thought otherwise, you can be absolutely certain I would have tried to contact my ex already .

 

I got advice from many people that are my friends to wait a few weeks and not to seem really eager, pushy, and desperate.

Good advice, but wait as long as it takes. Whatever you think you are or are not, she will probably sense the real you - especially if you were together for a long period of time.

 

I know everyone is saying move on and forget it, but I just cant help but know that she is the person I want to spend my life with.

Are you sure that's "knowledge" from the mind? Or is it a "feeling" from your heart? I can relate, really, I can. But I also think at this stage it's mostly a feeling, and feelings can change. When you (and I) are feeling more objective about our situations, only then can we "know". And what will happen then is that we "know" that she might or might not be the person we want to spend our lives with. It depends on us, and them, and circumstances, and mostly on whether both people want to spend their lives together. She has made it clear she doesn't want to spend her life with you - at the moment. You can't do anything about that because whatever reasons she has for feeling like that are stronger than whatever feelings she will have as a result of anything you do now.

 

The other thing you have to watch is that anything you do at present might elicit feelings of guilt on her part, and guilt is a very weak foundation on which to build a relationship. I only recently figured that out about a relationship I had many years ago. Wish I'd learnt that sooner

 

If you were going to give me advice on how to get her back and not just tell me to move on, what would that advice be?

Build a telepathy machine, read her mind, then act on that information. Even then it might fail, especially if her mind and heart are conflicted.

 

Sorry mate, I don't know what to tell you except to move on. Don't try to forget it, you won't. Just try to get to a place where it doesn't affect your life anymore. I wish I had a better answer for you, I really do. Because then I could do the same When you feel weak and tempted to contact her, read random stories on ENA from people who tried. I have a feeling even many of the nonchalant "dumpee" success stories came to an end further down the line (years later). The only successful long-term reconciliation stories I can remember from here are ones where the "dumper" initiated contact.

 

There's nothing you're saying about her communication that indicates any desire for a reconciliation. Sounds more like a desire to at least not hurt you by being polite (although it does hurt, I know), or a desire to move towards a friendship.

[winniethepooh]

I want her to have a rebound, so she can see how perfect her and I was.

 

Id be very careful what you wish for.

Quite right.

 

Nobody is perfect, and no relationship is perfect. Never. It might feel like that at times, but feelings change.

 

She might discover what she feels or thinks is a better relationship - certainly it will feel like it at the beginning, that's the nature of new relationships.

 

Or yes, she might discover that what she had with you was so much better.

 

You don't know, or actually, you might have a better idea than anyone posting here if you can look at things rationally and objectively (ignore anything she said during the relationship, think about how she behaved towards you - especially at the end). But it doesn't matter. I can't think of anything you can do to influence the outcome of a rebound relationship in a way that you appear to want at the moment. If I could, I'd be doing it myself .

[winniethepooh]

Getting back together with the girl i belong with

This might be something to ponder, or might not. But you see, when you say words like "belong with", that jars. Nobody "belongs" to anyone (or shouldn't, in my view anyway). At least you said "belongs with" and not "who belongs to me".

 

But is it possible she feels you have a sense of ownership over her? That she doesn't like?

[TR3]

Id be very careful what you wish for. If your on friendly terms while shes rebounding you'll be throwing her into the arms of someone else and giving her comfort too not rebuilding attraction:

 

 

After going through this post so far, has it give you any diffrent way of thinking? Have you taken any advice you will follow through with? Do you genuinely think you have a glimmer of hope from the communication you've had with her recently? what are you planning to do now?

 

It has showed me that I am not the only person that had their heart ripped out and it happens to many. I honestly, do think that recent communication showed a glimmer of hope. She is a very strong women and if she wanted nothing to do with me, she wouldnt have responded. Maybe, my mind is lying to me, but thats what I think. What I am trying to do now, is live my life, do me, but at the end, I will always hope I will end up with her.

[TR3]

She is very emotional, I think many girls are. Sometimes emotions tend to overtake rationalization. But that is why I love her, she is emotional and passionate. I do feel like I have moved on somehow, I still think about her every day and I miss her tremendously. I feel like I will always miss her and want her back. She is the girl of my dreams, she has every quality I want. They say, when you know you know, and I deft know. I have met many people and she is the only one I want. Dont you think that sooner or later, someone and usually the man should initiate contact? I was just a wedding, where they broke up for a year, and in that year, the guy called her and texted and tried his best to get back together. Now they are happily married, there are stories like that.

 

I think its both, knowledge and feeling. Its not that I miss having a gf, having someone who loves me and someone to care. Its not that I miss that, I miss all that with specifically her.

[TR3]

This might be something to ponder, or might not. But you see, when you say words like "belong with", that jars. Nobody "belongs" to anyone (or shouldn't, in my view anyway). At least you said "belongs with" and not "who belongs to me".

 

But is it possible she feels you have a sense of ownership over her? That she doesn't like?

 

The thing is, we always called each other soulmates, husband/wife, the once, we always talked about that. I said belongs with, meaning that she is the only person who makes me happy and its not that "she belongs to me" but my heart belongs with her. She did say I may be controlling, but now, objectively I can see she was right and the way we were, was not the right way. But I learned from it, and now I want to show her that.

[notopposed]

OK I said I'd probably never post on these forums again but this thread is begging for help.

 

TR3 - After a period of no contact I made the same mistake you made. I broke the NC and my ex responded. She said almost the same thing your ex said. 'Hope you're doing well' is like a textbook dumper reply. I even managed to get her to call me after our message exchanges. In the phone call I quickly learned that she wasn't thinking about getting back together. As she put it she still cared about me and she's never going to tell me that she doesn't want to hear from me but our relationship wasn't working.

 

I was just like you. I thought we were soul mates. Like every relationship > 1 year we talked about marriage, kids, etc. Comparing my relationship to other peoples (including married couples) I always thought we had a better bond.

 

What you're going through is common and actually kind of predictable. Like other posters have said - really dig deep through these forums. You'll see a lot of repeating patterns.

 

 

Now since that time I've done a number of things to move on and have been doing pretty well. They say there's 5 stages after a breakup or death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I can finally say I've reached acceptance. I think you're some combo of denial/bargaining. Unfortunately you haven't experienced the depression yet.

 

My keys to moving on:

1. Delete all forms of being able to contact her: This means delete her number from your phone, delete her as a FB friend, take her off of any IM list you have (in gchat you can select 'dont show me when the user is on').

2. Back up all of the digital photos and then delete them from your computer.

3. Take all the gifts/cards and put them away in a place that you don't plan on accessing any time soon.

4. Stop fantasizing about her (I know you're doing this still)

5. Join a dating website and start talking to other girls.

6. Try to rediscover yourself. Find out who you were before you met your girlfriend. Chances are you were much more attractive a person than you are right now. You need to become that person again before you date any of these new girls you meet on the website.

 

And to summarize basically what everyone has said:

Your only real chance at getting your ex back is if she decides to come back on her own. There's nothing you can do or say anymore. The more contact you make, the more it's going to ruin your chances.

 

You wont believe any of the advice people give you until you see whats hidden behind the wall. It's like trying to tell a toddler not to touch a stove. There's a reason everyone is saying the same thing.

 

Goodluck