amlexus91 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I'm not going to go too deep into my life story, however I will briefly talk about this huge flaw about me that rips through my stomach whenever someone mentions relationships, sex, girls, etc. Basically, I have had many MANY chances to get a girlfriend, I surround myself with people that have a lot of girlfriends, but I just can't seem to get a girlfriend. I talk a mean game, but that fades away after a week. I am so sick of being single, and I just want to experience a relationship before I turn 21. I am both introverted and extroverted, but when it comes time to chatting it up with a girl, I become shy and closed-minded. I strike up uninteresting conversations that result in awkward silence and laughs, which brings my morale down, thus killing my mood. I am easily shook, and I seem to just not be myself around beautiful girls. I get somewhat intimidated, sweat, and if they are talking to me, I get a boner which results in unnatural movement and conversations. I AM A WRECK!! In a nutshell, beautiful girls intimidate me, make me nervous, overthink, and dampers my morale. My father has told me to practice on the ugly girls, but that is simply NOT an option. I would really REALLY appreciate all your feedback, and hopefully your advice will propel me to getting into a long awaiting relationship that I have so desired since high-school. Thank you for reading this and have a great week beautiful people! Link to comment
tom1607307597 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Welcome to enotalone amlexus. Beautiful girls intimidate alot of guys and your dad was right in some ways; it is easier to practice with girls you don't find attractive but you don't have to ask them out! The idea is to get used to talking to girls and flirting with them. Then apply what you've learned with beautiful girls and they suddenly don't seem so nerve racking to be around. This also helps you out in the long run b/c the beautiful girls will pick up on the fact you can talk comfortably with other girls and may become interested in you. Link to comment
amlexus91 Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 haha..i never thought about it like that... but the thing is I have been talking to both attractive AND unattractive girls..but it's the flirting that hurts me..because I simply just can't flirt! And for me to flirt with ugly girls just seems forced and weird to me, because I don't have those feelings about unattractive girls. But when I flirt with beautiful girls, I just can't do it. Maybe something in the middle, but idk. Link to comment
amlexus91 Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 My other problem is I am scared to have fun, where it seems all the girls I am attracted to are are in to. Like going to the bar, socials and nightclubs. I am lazy because I am content with being alone and introverted. If you were to ever meet me, you would think I am the weirdest guy, haha. I'm a cool guy, but have alot of insecurities that prevent me from venturing outside my box. Any insights on that? Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 My other problem is I am scared to have fun, where it seems all the girls I am attracted to are are in to. Like going to the bar, socials and nightclubs. I am lazy because I am content with being alone and introverted. If you were to ever meet me, you would think I am the weirdest guy, haha. I'm a cool guy, but have alot of insecurities that prevent me from venturing outside my box. Any insights on that? You sound just like me dude. It's quite hard to break that 'habbit' of not wanting to cut loose and be social. The only way i managed to do it was by befriending people who were extremely 'out there' who would actually roll up my house and pretty much drag me off to the bar and get me sauced up a bit lol. good place to start is to chat up co-workers and see who hangs out on the weekends and what not. I have these 2 guys i work with and we stay straight all week but come friday night it's off to the bar for some h*** raisin' and brew poundin. As for girls, I can't really help you much there as I've only had 3 girls in my life, 2 serious including my wife, and all of them pretty much came onto me for some reason or other (and to be quite honest i don't know why. Im not rich, im not extremely well endowed, and far from being the best looking bloke at the local bar- just an average joe) Link to comment
FathomFear Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 When you think of your friends who don't have an issue getting into relationships, what kinds of things are they doing? One problem you might be having is that you're focusing too much on your flirting "game" and not enough on some basic fundamentals of socializing enough, networking, meeting lots of people, etc. I suspect those things will increase your chances by a higher percentage than honing your flirting skills would. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I think that you just need to practice talking and interacting with girls period. You also need to realize that no matter how you perceive a woman to look she is still a person, so dont make her out to be more than she is. Link to comment
amlexus91 Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 lol...yea yea..i hear that...I just need to practice...and make friends with the outgoing people so they can bring me to these social scenes.......but I'm not going to lie..I get overwhelmed with a TON of people in one place. I'm more of a one on one guy. How do I enter these scenes where it's a TON of people, and turn it to a one on one scenario? Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 well perhaps go to a place that has games such as pool just ask someone to play and make small talk between shots a bit dont over think it or try to be cheeky just have fun. then you're just meeting one person instead of trying to take on the whole bar at once. Link to comment
joeson1257 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I'm 26 and never even went on a date. If a women knew that about me they would probably think I was a freak or something. Link to comment
Em0211 Posted December 10, 2011 Share Posted December 10, 2011 I think you should probably just wait, wait for someone who actually understands you and can see the true you through your *social awkwardness*... Personally I don't find guys who flirt attractive at all... So yeah... Give it some time and you'll eventually find the girl who deserves you! Don't rush love! Link to comment
Ginger1 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 hehe. I used to be somewhat similar. Biggest thing that has helped me (I'm a gal though) is just talking with guys and NOT thinking about: is he cute, I'm attracted to him, I need to make conversations...e tc. Right now I'm still in school and half of the department is guys. I now have no problem going to their office and talking about class or whatever. And in turn, if I like a guy outside of this situation, I have gotten much more confidence to just chat. Primarily don't think about 'dating', just talk to them like you would anyone else. good luck Link to comment
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