jimbobday Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Sorry for the ranting guys but have to get stuff off my chest. Basically at the moment it feels like every time I start to heal and feel like I'm moving on I find out something else that just shuts me down. Like last week I went to our old house to pick up stuff and found empty condom packets in the draw that weren't mine. Then last night I found out my ex had been a prostitute for 3 months before I broke up with her and lied to me about what she had been up to. So basically just as I start to feel happy again something pops up. How am I meant to heal? I don't see how I can when horrible stuff just keeps coming up. Ideas anyone? Link to comment
dobbin Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 consider yourself lucky that you dodged a bullet. sometimes we can live with someone for years and not even know who they are. some people are good at hiding their emotions and intentions. i just wasted 6.5 years of my life on a guy who doesnt give a damn about us being together or not. i finally open my eyes and see him for what he is. all the while he's telling me about our future plans then all of a sudden he freaked out and flipped on me. i feel blessed that i am no longer with him. he's someone else's problem now. Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Only time will help my friend, only time. I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. Seems like a lot of folks on here, myself included have not had much luck in the dating world. Most of us have been manipulated, lied to, and hurt, on top of our own personal problems outside of relationships. Not fun to say the least. All you can do is remember that this is temporary, think back to positive moments in your life and maintain an open, honest, positive view of things to keep yourself open to new people and new experiences. It's so easy to close up and shut down during this time, that we often forget we're not only delaying our healing, but shutting out new things that could make us happy. Link to comment
Awoken Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Sorry for the ranting guys but have to get stuff off my chest. Basically at the moment it feels like every time I start to heal and feel like I'm moving on I find out something else that just shuts me down. Like last week I went to our old house to pick up stuff and found empty condom packets in the draw that weren't mine. Then last night I found out my ex had been a prostitute for 3 months before I broke up with her and lied to me about what she had been up to. So basically just as I start to feel happy again something pops up. How am I meant to heal? I don't see how I can when horrible stuff just keeps coming up. Ideas anyone? You have to go NC with this lady. That just hurts! How long were you guys together for you not to know that she had been a prostitute?? Link to comment
jimbobday Posted November 13, 2011 Author Share Posted November 13, 2011 Thanks all, This one cuts down deep. I knew something was up just didn't even perceive it was anything like this. I have been LC with her for just over 2 weeks unfortunately can't go no contact yet as there's still the house to sort out. She has no idea I know. We had been together 1.5 years this time and were together 3-4 years previously but we weren't to serious where as this time we were. She had been a prostitute since August as I found out last night. It does explain a lot about how our relationship was in the months till breakup though. Still hurts like hell. Link to comment
Awoken Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Thanks all, This one cuts down deep. I knew something was up just didn't even perceive it was anything like this. I have been LC with her for just over 2 weeks unfortunately can't go no contact yet as there's still the house to sort out. She has no idea I know. We had been together 1.5 years this time and were together 3-4 years previously but we weren't to serious where as this time we were. She had been a prostitute since August as I found out last night. It does explain a lot about how our relationship was in the months till breakup though. Still hurts like hell. If you haven't alaready, and I'm sure I'm stating the obvious, you should go get yourself checked out asap. Better to be safe than sorry, that would hurt even more my friend. You have defiantely dodged a bullet here. Link to comment
Goodfellas Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Forgive me if I come off as insensitive but finding out she was a prostitute would make it easier for me to get over her. Obviously after the shock wore off and the results came back clean, I'd find it easy to move past a liar like that. Link to comment
jimbobday Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Thanks again, Yep going to go get myself checked up. I don't think its really getting over her, I have ZERO desire to have her back. Its more getting over the fact I was so lied to and deceived. Someone that I trusted so much could have done this to me. I can't even comprehend it at the moment Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Forgive me if I come off as insensitive but finding out she was a prostitute would make it easier for me to get over her. Obviously after the shock wore off and the results came back clean, I'd find it easy to move past a liar like that. Same for me. She's nasty. Link to comment
GreenCupcake Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 The sudden realization that you can never look at this person the same way again is heartbreaking and it will take time to get over. Since you have no desire to get her back, it shows that you are on the right track. You will heal as long as you try to stay positive whenever possible. Do not let yourself become bitter because of this. Link to comment
jimbobday Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Thank you. At the moment I have a lot of hatred towards her but I really want to get rid of that and forgive her so I can move on. Its been a shock to the system that is for sure. Link to comment
Awoken Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Thank you. At the moment I have a lot of hatred towards her but I really want to get rid of that and forgive her so I can move on. Its been a shock to the system that is for sure. True. Anger and hatred and easy emotions to use to get over someone. But you know eventually it will just eat away at you. Im trying to replace my anger at my ex with more positive emotions...I repeat TRYING to replace Good old time will help heal this me thinks. Link to comment
jimbobday Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Thanks Awoken, Its not an easy one to do but I hope in time I can learn to forgive her. I will never want her back but hopefully I can learn to forgive her and rid the anger that I have. i can quite honestly say this is the most angry I have ever been at someone and it takes alot to make me angry at someone Link to comment
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