Question For Female Dumpers Who Have Rebounded:

[jsd43953]

I just got dumped you could say..if you want the full details just got to my profile and see my thread. Its def a f'd up situation.

 

Anyway the question I have is that if you did have a rebound and the guy was all you ever were looking for, down to the T but you decided to go back to your ex or be single for a while. What were your thoughts regarding the "rebound' guy? Did you ever go back to him?

 

I am asking because its been two weeks since the break up and 11 days since she initiated any contact, and since then I have made no effort to contact her although it is driving me nutz not to. Any feed back or commentary is greatly appreciated.

[Melting]

If he was all that I was looking for..... I wouldn't dump him.

[blueyes833]

I agree. Why would you dump someone if they are everything you wanted??

11 days is a good starting point. Don't break NC. It may be driving you crazy now but if you break it you will be back at square one. Trust me on this. And you will feel worse than before.

[Melting]

Stick with your NC.

 

It is truly the only way to go to eventually mend your heart and gain some sanity.

[jsd43953]

Well ladies I thank you for the feedback. I was told that I was and provided everything that she wanted. However she loves me and loves her ex and rather than be with anyone she would just rather be alone cause it is not fair to me, her , or to him. It sounds like rubbish but I am trying to understand. I plan on keeping NC, it just sucks cause we had such good conversation weither it was good, bad, ugly or indifferent. We communicated weither we knew the other would like it or dislike it.

[Ms Darcy]

It sounds like rubbish because it is rubbish.

[rosie smith]

having gone through the whole rebound thing and seen my ex having gone through it there are a few ways a rebound works one is your break was bad and you can not cope with being on your own so you turn to the first person that comes along after the rebound and when you feel ok you either go back to your ex or you find someone new and sometimes you don't know what you want so it is possible the rebound could win, but I have always felt like a rebound is normally just there to make one feel better and so about themselves

 

however if you are that rebound that the women can see her self being with long term then she will stick wtih you but I hate to say it but I don't feel like you can really love two people and yes I am sure your ex is confused but either way if she wants to be alone right now that is not a good sign cause it might mean she does not want to be with either with you

 

I dunno I have friends who have told the person you are my rebound nothing more, i have friends that have used a rebound as a way of making themselves feel better and there are rebounds that you fall in love and there are also rebounds that you have cause you can't bear being single and alone and the rebound is there so why not stay with them for company and sex and a good old distraction basically

 

hope my post is of some help and if you want my advice don't rely on this girl or anyone in your life coming back to you cause the things we want the most in life don't often happen

 

I am really sorry you have been hurt for this girl and I feel your pain but time is really a great healer, keep going with the NC and keep busy ok

[jsd43953]

Hey Rosie,

 

Thanks for your advice. You have opened my eyes up to the whole world of being the rebound guy it sucks. Could you do me favor, and check out another thread I posted. It deals with her contacting me after I actually wrote this. I would like your feedback please. the Thread is "Day 12 of NC and texted by ex? Advice?" you can find it in the healing after break up/divorce section.

[Saures]

I think a lot of people dump their rebound guys, even though they could be everything you wanted.

 

I've been broken up with and I have three guys interested as me (none of them know I have been recently broken up with, so they aren't vultures...), I wouldn't say they are rebounds, I don't do "rebounds", its cruel and just painful for you and the rebound.

I think that, after a relationship with someone you genuinely liked, who you thought was a genuine person, you need someone else in your life to help you get over them.

 

I had a situation where I had a break up with a guy who really, wasn't that special, and then decided to get with another guy, the "relationship" ended two weeks later, and I was completely over everyone. I was actually happy to be alone.

 

I'd say that rebounds help a past relationship become nothing more than a memory, but from experience, I'd rather battle it out and be able to become happy without using someone to get there