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Dilemma: Fight or Flight?

Mystery Enigma

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I've hit the dating scene and for the most part, it's gone pretty well. There was this one woman I have been seeing for about a month but I'm pretty sure it's over. Thus why I'm here, looking for insight.


I met her off OkCupid and we hit it off, lots of common interests and what not. With her, I was content and I had a good time and things were going great. In any case, month passes and we didn't have any conflicts or fights or anything of the sort. I often texted her and we just talked about whatever we had on our minds. This time, her texting service was down and it was lunchtime, wanted to give her a call to see how it was going? I did so the last night as well to no argument from her. Called from the work phone and I thought I heard static and a disconnect, this sometimes happens on the VoIP phones we have at work. So I let 10 minutes pass and I call her again, this time I know it was a hang up. Send her a message over FB asking her how things were and if everything is okay? She informed me that she was in class, and I apologized for calling her because I thought her class started an hour later. In any case, she said she was fine and asked me what I was up to today? We normally met up on that day after classes and went for dinner or a movie or anything else so I suggested perhaps we do something of the sort. Innocent enough or so I thought.


Around 4 pm as I was starting to pack up to head home from work, she texts me and says she doesn't feel obligated to anyone since we're not in a relationship. Didn't understand so I asked to clarify, and she said texting everyday with the underlying assumption that we will "get together" or keeping tabs on her or calling her if she doesn't respond (which I only did this one time). At which point, I tried to justify myself by explaining that since her texting is down, I wanted to see how it was going. I denied keeping tabs, just wanted to see how it was going? She responded and told me not to justify myself but to know where I was coming from. I said I understood and we didn't talk since then (two days).


I sought advice over the situation and my friends believe I came off too strong, that I was in her face too much. Do you agree? I honestly think that if I was, she would have made it more apparent to me. Instead, she lashes out on me by politely telling me to shut the hell up.


Anyways, last night I was a bit infuriated by external factors so I just silently withdrew. Removed her from Facebook, etc.


Do I bother communicating with her or is it beyond that? She's a nice woman and I obviously would like to see her again, but the lack of any initiated conversation irks me. She told me before how nice it was that we could get along, and how nice it was to have found me. Now, it's just gone cold. The vibe I'm getting is she's not interested, but our date on Saturday with extended make out session indicates otherwise.


Feedback is appreciated as always.

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If she liked you. She would of communicate with you. Doing nothing is usually is more. Women are used to getting chased. So if you play it cool and demand equal respect you will get more. confidence is the key. You already removed her from facebook so it's over now. That's going to the extreme. Good luck.

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I'm not so sure she was looking for a relationship....it doesn't make sense to me that she'd respond the way she did about the phone calls if she was.


Honestly I can see how you came off as pushy by calling her twice and then immediately messaging her on FB asking if everything was ok. That comes off a bit desperate for contact, especially if you talked to her just the night before.


In any case, yes, it's best to let this one go. You didn't have that much invested in her anyway, so no big loss.

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