Is it gigs? Will she come back?

[mrtango]

My gf of 2 years dumped me because she told me that she is not in love with me anymore. She cried a lot when she told me this and she said to me that she cares about me a lot... She even told me that I am a perfect boyfriend and she was happy with me... But she lost the feeling and the spark... I was (and I am) in love with her, I treated her like a princess (it's what she deserves) and we were so happy that we had plans to get married...

 

She went abroad for her LLM (that I supported a lot because it's a huge step for her job) and after 15 days of her departure she dumped me on skype and she didn't want to stay friends with me nor contacted me. She quite erased me from her life. It happened 4 months ago, she's not in a new relationship since then as far as I know. I think it can be a grass is greener syndrome, because I think she had cold feet about marriage or had some doubts about it. She's in her early 20s and I am her first long term relationship.

 

She didn't want to stay in contact with me so I did complete NC since our break up. But I still love her. I know that I should move on but I can't. I thought that NC would work for healing and moving on but it's a difficult task to leave all hope.

 

Do you think it's a gigs? Do you think she will come back?

[Eocsor]

I feel for you. Unfortunately no one can answer those questions. Best to continue on the path you are on and don't expect her to change her mind and show up again.

 

Let the future take care of itself. Right now your task is to heal. It can take a long time to do that sometimes. A study in Britain pegged the average time to heal after a divorce at about a year and a half. So you probably have a ways to go before you start to feel better. But if you work on healing it will happen for you in time.

[mactownman]

I feel for you. Unfortunately no one can answer those questions. Best to continue on the path you are on and don't expect her to change her mind and show up again.

 

Let the future take care of itself. Right now your task is to heal. It can take a long time to do that sometimes. A study in Britain pegged the average time to heal after a divorce at about a year and a half. So you probably have a ways to go before you start to feel better. But if you work on healing it will happen for you in time.

 

This ^

 

It happens to the best of us man. The questions you have may never be answered and you need to accept that. Move on with your life and try your best to keep a positive outlook on things. You're young, enjoy your new-found freedom and give life hell. In time, you will look back at what you had with her with fondness, realize you learned some life lessons, and relish your current state of happiness.

[Daev]

Sounds like she thought you ticked many of the 'perfect boyfriend' boxes, but failed to feel that true and deep emotional connection. I would follow the advice of those above and stick to NC and try to move on.

[mrtango]

I know that I should move on... But I can't. Until the breakup day (even this particular day) she was telling me that she loves me and miss me so much... I can't understand how anyone can be in love and decide that she is not in love anymore one hour later?

 

She told me that she was thinking long before about the breakup, but I can't understand why she acted like she was loving me until the breakup?.. We talked about marriage and she wanted it happen... A little after this conversation she broke up with me? She told me to wed a good girl and have my own family and be happy?!..

 

I wish she will be happy with or without me... My broken heart continue loving her...

[Mr_LFA]

I really wouldn't count on her coming back. She may love you but shes not IN LOVE with you, by the sound of it. I guess you could say its a more platonic love than anything. She sounds like she wants to do her 'own thing' basically as a single woman (not necessarily sexual). The thing is you may never know the answers and it would be a waste of energy thinking about all the possibilities. I held onto the hope that my ex would 'come round' but almost 3 years on and shes in another relationship. I had to accept and move on.