Ex's Parents Texts and Checks Up On Me

[SweetSeul]

It's been a month since my ex and I broke up. 6 days NC so far as the past couple of weeks were about closure and saying good bye.

 

We were in a very long relationship, a few months LD, and everyone including us, his family, and my family believed we would end up with one another. Anyway, his parents were very upset and affected about the B.U. and even cried. They were very much invested in our relationship, it seems. They even apologized on behalf of their son. I guess they feel some guilt that he decided to end our relationship.

 

I know they're really concerned about me since they know that after the B.U., I went back overseas where I am alone. Everyday they've been in touch and have just been sweet and letting me know that I am still considered part of their family, want to know how I am, etc. I really appreciate them being there for me but I think in order for me to completely move on, I need to taper off the contact and maybe just keep in touch during birthdays and holidays..

 

How do I do that? It's hard, I know they see me like a daughter and though I really appreciate the contact, I don't want them (or particularly him) to know too much about what's going on with me. I think my ex and I really need space right now

[hodgeheg]

I had a similar situation in terms of my ex's parents and grandparents, and they kept apologising too. I just politely told them that, in order for me to heal and move on, we wouldn't be able to talk for a while. I said that I will keep in touch and I hope to catch up with them one day but that right now it's too hard. I need the time to separate them from him. I also thanked them for accepting me into the family etc.

 

His mum, in particular, was very understanding and we both cried and said goodbye. She just said that she wants me to know that, even though she isn't contacting me, she is thinking about me. This "goodbye" conversation was hard but completely necessary I think.

 

I hope this helps, good luck

[mactownman]

Same thing happened to me. I got pretty close to my ex's father. We had alot in common and I think I was kinda "the son he never had" or whatever. He lived in an all-female household and definitely enjoyed the male companionship I offered. After the breakup he would check up on me. We would chat. This went on for about 3-4 months.

[In the Dark]

Personally, you could just be up front with your ex's parents once you are certain you do not need them to be checking up on you.

I think it's absolutely great your ex's parents are realistic about the whole situation and not biased.

 

I have a feeling when you are ready for them not to contact you so often, you can tell them and they will understand as they are on your side.

[toby17]

I think it's great that they haven't dropped you - some people act like you don't exist after a break-up.

 

But it's not guaranteed that this is going to continue. They'll eventually accept that you're not in their son's life and one day he's going to bring home another gf that they'll need to accept.

 

If you like the relationship, keep it but don't count on it continuing forever.

 

If you need to go NC, don't be afraid to do it for the same reasons. In the end, dealing with a break-up is harder on you than dealing with the loss of a son's gf is on them.

[SweetSeul]

I think it's great that they haven't dropped you - some people act like you don't exist after a break-up.

 

But it's not guaranteed that this is going to continue. They'll eventually accept that you're not in their son's life and one day he's going to bring home another gf that they'll need to accept.

 

If you like the relationship, keep it but don't count on it continuing forever.

 

If you need to go NC, don't be afraid to do it for the same reasons. In the end, dealing with a break-up is harder on you than dealing with the loss of a son's gf is on them.

 

Thanks. I think you are right.

 

I think they are just trying to be there for me and perhaps ease some guilt for whatever their son did.

 

I never initiate the communication and mostly just respond to say thank you, assure them I am okay, and then ask how they are. In a way, I feel like an adopted daughter already and this is one of the struggles I have with letting go. They have assured me though that they never talk about me with their son which I greatly appreciate. You are right. Eventually, the communication will end and we will all move on.

 

I plan to just appreciate the love and care they are showing my way and just initiate contact during Christmas, birthdays or when I am in town.