wannadoitright Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Two days ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 months. I texted him (I wish I had just waited to call) saying "I can't do this anymore". I had been trying to communicate with him that I was sad and I didn't feel like he was invested in the relationship but he outright ignored my texts and responded to the ones he felt like responding to. I know this relationship was not working for me but most of all, I wanted to even get a sense of if he was into me and into the relationship. He responded by being angry that I texted it even though we had been texting prior and I said "I am soooooo sad" which he ignored but responded as soon as I texted "I can't do this anymore". The following day, I called him and he texted me saying that he wished we could have tried longer but he was done with the relationship. I immediately went into panic mode and started saying I was sorry that I thought he just didn't care about us...which I still feel he doesn't. He blocked me immediately and has refused to speak to me since then. I've called, texted, e-mailed and begged for 48 straight hours. I am cooling it off now and stepping back because he clearly is not interested. I feel awful that I texted it but he didn't pick my call even though we had been texting and he never responded with concern to the hints I gave about how sad I was with some things he had done and failed to do. I was always hesitant to bring up my bad feelings cause he just downplayed it and made me feel like I was being "negative" even when he was clearly the one making me feel so bad. Nonetheless, I feel he would have hurt me terribly because he just didn't seem that into me. Am I the dumper or dumpee? I want to talk to him and make things right but I am not sure we can even be in a relationship anymore because of so many other issues. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Two days ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 months. I texted him (I wish I had just waited to call) saying "I can't do this anymore". I had been trying to communicate with him that I was sad and I didn't feel like he was invested in the relationship but he outright ignored my texts and responded to the ones he felt like responding to. I know this relationship was not working for me but most of all, I wanted to even get a sense of if he was into me and into the relationship. He responded by being angry that I texted it even though we had been texting prior and I said "I am soooooo sad" which he ignored but responded as soon as I texted "I can't do this anymore". I recently went through something very similar with someone. She would go months without responding to a text or phone call (stating that she was "very busy" and didn't check emails or her phone) then when I would get pissed at her she'd miraculously respond the same day. People that are like this cannot be in stable relationships, they're too detached. I'm not surprised you didn't feel like he cared and I'm sure the one person he really cares about is himself.. He responds when you're mad because it affects his self-esteem and he just doesn't want you mad at him...otherwise he could care less. It doesn't matter if you're the dumper or the dumpee...get out of this relationship and do not look back. You feel neglected now and that will continue in the future. You guys do not connect. He might have been very much into you but he cannot COMMUNICATE that with you in a way you understand and need. So, it doesn't matter. My ex said she loved me but in no way showed me that she did...it was like she was expressing her love in another language that I didn't understand. I felt neglected and taken for granted. She tried, just like I'm sure your boyfriend/ex did but you guys are just talking in different languages. Move on. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 He's just upset that you got in first. But I think he was done with the relationship anyway. So you are the dumper and he is the dumpee - he's just sore about it. Link to comment
ChellyV Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 doesnt matter. his mind and heart long gone. go NC and maybe the cool off time will help. Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Not to judge, but emotions this high after 3 months? That's what we call infatuation, and obsession, not love. Love takes time to actually develop. Three months is a HS fling. Link to comment
mhowe Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 Another instance of game playing that backfired. Lesson learned --- you can't jerk around someone's emotions and think you're going to come out the winner. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted November 10, 2011 Share Posted November 10, 2011 3 months isnt a lot, I broke up with my ex 4 months ago, and I cant imagine that being long (feels real short). My ex always said i didnt care, or that i didnt care about her. At some point it got annoying, so i wouldnt respond to it anymore. But, i decided instead to show her when she wasnt nagging. I never gave up on my ex, so obviously i wasnt the one who didnt care, since she broke up with me. You need to control your emotions, in 3 months you dont even get to see your bfs ugly face, or his annoying traits yet. Dont test your man, dont push your man, control your insecurity (unless he is to blame, and if he was... why care if he left?). I would also try to examine yourself, my ex had depression-like symptoms, plus a life of abandonment. I blamed her behavior on those things. Link to comment
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