My friend sort of abandoned me.

[SpottiOtti]

The manager of the store I work at, who was also a good friend of mine, pulled a no-call, no-show week before last.

 

I was worried about her because she had been going through some stuff (medical procedure and abusive ex coming back into her life), thought she could be in danger or hurt. I was also her assistant manager, so I would have been the point of contact for the store. She did not return any of my phone calls or text messages until I left her a voice mail basically begging her to just call me and tell me she was okay. Then she sent me a text. I texted her back and I was glad she's okay, and to call me if she needs anything or to talk. And haven't heard anything from her since then. That was last Friday.

 

She has quit the store, and offered no explanation to me or anyone else. I felt like our friendship was strong enough that she would call me and explain to me why she left. I guess I overestimated our friendship? My feelings are hurt. I feel like she's ditching me along with the store.

 

Anyone have any insight or experience?

[abitbroken]

I would give her space. She will talk when she is ready. If she was through a big medical procedure or trauma and you are a "good friend" but not her bestie, she might not talk to you about it until the storm has passed. Also, did you become friends at work or did you know her before. I have had work friends that I was close to at work, but once i left the place or they left, we disappeared from eachother's lives. in a week i would leave her a voicemail that you are not asking due to work, but to please consider catching up when she is feeling up to it and that you hope she feels better. Then the ball is in her court.

[chitown9]

I think that she is overwhelmed with her situation, whatever it is. Sometimes it is better to not say anything rather than the wrong thing, and it could be that this is why she is silent.....chi

[SpottiOtti]

Thanks, guys. I guess you both have a point. We did become friends through work so I guess it's possible she's erasing me along with the job. I will consider leaving the voicemail in a week.

 

But then, I sort of feel like, I already have tried to contact her and she's ignored me. I feel like the ball is already in her court. If she is ditching me, then I'm not going to go chasing after her and bothering her. Friendship is a sensitive subject with me, and I'm already hurt by the way she's acted. But I should put that aside, and remember the world doesn't revolve around me, right?

[chitown9]

OP, I know you are friend with her, but remember that you are still working at the place she once worked. Maybe she does not want to tell her story to you for fear of it getting out in your work place. The only way she can be guaranteed that that would not happen is by her not speaking about it to you or anyone at the work place. I am really not surprised that she has not responded to you. Try to put yourself in her place....chi

[SpottiOtti]

Huh. I never thought of that. Good point.

[guynextdoor]

Spotti she is a lame friend to be honest with you. We as an adult can separate work from friendship. I think with the amount of time you two work and hung out I'm sure she could trust you and tell her side of the story. My only guess is she needs time for herself to sort this out. If she doesn't contact you in a week or two then trully she's not a good friend.