received email from my ex husband and feeling depressed...

[phasegirl]

Long story short - my ex husband and I were married for ten years, and broke up about 5 years ago. Basically, I thought I had a good marriage until I found out he had an affair with a coworker and then we ended it. He also had a child with her, which made the problem worse.

Needless to say, it was a very painful process for me that took me about 3 years to get over.

 

The only contact I have with him is through the post office - that is he sends me checks as the court ordered that he pay me a certain amount of money a month.

 

Fast forward to last week, he sends me an email that he can't continue to pay me because he lost his job and he's going through hard times with his family. So I reply and basically tell him that he can tell the judge his pity stories. A few days then go by and today he sends me an email telling me that he found a job and that he's going to continue to pay me .

 

Here's the thing: I don't know why after reading that email, I then broke down and cried. I am not sure if I felt sorry for him for his troubles, and even if that's the case, why do I?? I thought I was over him, or could it be the idea of being married and having a family? I am just upset with myself that it's been five years since the end of my marriage and today I exploded like a baby.

[Cadence44]

Maybe in some way you felt momentarily vindicated that he'd experienced some misfortune in his life? I think it's a natural feeling when someone has hurt or betrayed us to hope that they feel the same pain as we have. It's not healthy, but it's natural.

 

Or is there something going on in your life that may have magnified contact from an important person in your past? Did you have expectations that your life would be a certain way 5 years out from your old life?

[Kalika]

It sounds like it was the "what could have been" .. in some ways he is taking care of you now the way he should have been during the marriage. It sounds like you are still mourning the loss of him or what could have been. I really feel for you. It sounds like a terrible experience to have gone through.

[Ms Darcy]

I think it's the contact that reminds you of the pain. I'm sorry honey. He was a piece of crap.

[Notagoodninja]

Awww I'm SOOOOO sorry for your pain I understand how you feel it's HORRIBLE not being loved by the man or woman you are in love with. I am sorry. I hope you find a new love soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!