Time to move on!

[asthesparrow]

Hi ENA, me yet again.

I've posted before about this man. It needs no lengthy re-cap. We've been seeing each other for over a year, reason being that when we met I didn't want any attachment nor did he, but we got on like a house on fire, the chemistry was and still is amazing and he's become a very close friend who cares for me deeply and vice versa.

 

A few months ago perhaps, we grew a lot closer, spent a lot more time together, and he was going out of his way to charm me and to display his affections. I inevitably started to grow stronger feelings but I still have not broached the subject due to not wanting to ruin the dynamic. I am still not interested in relationships but am starting to feel a bit jealous of other women. That's all.

 

So anyway. We spent the last day together and he tells me that his ex-wife (divorced 10 years ago) is about to move into his house (with their son) because she left her partner and needed a place to live momentarily till she gets on her feet. He wasn't entirely upset about this situation but expressed it was a lot less than ideal. They're on good terms.

 

So basically, this changed my feelings a lot. And I'm not sure why. It is honorable that he will look after her this way and warms my heart, but now I feel a bit strange. Also, I figure I won't be invited to his house for a while.

 

So I'm making the decision to transition from lovers to friends. I know it's possible as we spend only 50% of the time as "more than friends" and we get along well. My head and physical attraction has moved on but not my affection and I think that will be the last part to leave. I feel that it's run it's course but it almost does feel like a break up, however I am not as sad as I thought I would be.

 

I just felt like venting as this is the closest thing I have had to a "relationship" in years, and it feels very strange to make the logical decision, for the first time in my life, to disconnect from someone emotionally. Usually it is forced or due to some form of emotional altercation/break down. If that makes sense?

[DN]

I don't see why you should make that decision. Of course he would make sure his child is safe.

[asthesparrow]

I don't see why you should make that decision. Of course he would make sure his child is safe.

 

Of course. That goes without saying.

I feel I've been wanting an "out" or and excuse to break off for a while and this is just a good catalyst. Unfortunately I couldn't self-motivate it.

[DN]

If you want out that's a different issue. But don't use this as the reason and make him feel guilty or upset because he looked after the welfare of his child.

[asthesparrow]

If you want out that's a different issue. But don't use this as the reason and make him feel guilty or upset because he looked after the welfare of his child.

 

Eh, I wasn't implying I would give him that very reason. It's a casual relationship (as you've read on my past threads) and I feel he won't push for a "why" he will take my nonchalance as a sign. I know he isn't attached to "me" he is attached to feeling "wanted". If he wants to know why I'm not interested any more I will tell him it's due to me feeling like I'm more invested than he is.