Ex girlfriend started contacting

[tobias13]

Hi Guys,

 

I felt i needed to post here as i have experience quite a weird swing in my ex girlfriend over the past few days...

 

First off those who have read my story they will know its been tough for me but NC was certainly the way to go to get my life back on track ..

 

well it started on friday and she showed up at a halloween party at this club i am always at, she knows i will be there.. anyway i didnt speak to her at all that night and went and had a blast was great to feel that she wasnt affecting me by her being there, i could see i bothered her.. because as i was dancing about and having fun with my friends, she was sitting with two of her girl friends then she left the club very early in a bit of a mood, dont know what it is about...

 

didnt see her the rest of the weekend and last night i was out with a mutual friend which is a girl ( she is closer to me than my ex and they met through me). there has always been a rumour of her seeing a rebound, i know this is a rebound because if you read my orginal story you will find she has still been interfering with my life etc post breakup... and also she has kept him a secret so he must feel soo special haha ! but i am not focussed on that i am focussed on me.

 

well my ex texted this friend of mine saying .. Miss you and then continued to tell my friend that she was soo confused and everything was getting to her etc.. while she was texting my friend this she texted me to ask how i was and stuff, i didnt text her back for a few hours and by this point she must of been sleeping.

 

well anyway i woke up with a text from her this morning and she hasnt stopped texting me since ! i have been funny and upbeat and not bringing up any stresses we had in the past because i have learned that old relationship is done and i need to focus on a new relationship if i want her back!

 

i do want her back but i just needed advice on this situation i dont want to blow it or anything ? is this positive steps or am i being used or what not it has knocked me a bit confused when i have been doing soo well.. i have got myself back and been improving and improving while being in NIC with my ex.

 

 

Thanks for any advice given it is all very much appreciated.

[DN]

What is she saying in her texts?

[tobias13]

her texts to me are those of good nature making jokes and just basically catching up and stuff .. she brought up that i didnt speak to her on friday and stuff but keeping it all light hearted and what she is doing throuighout her day and telling me things that happened on her placement anytime she could and how wee boys were saying they loved her and stuff lol ! basically texting me the way we used to ( as small and pointless it may be she started giving me the old 2 x's instead of the one she used when we contacted post break up) ...

 

when i asked her how she was she told me uckk ok .. which ties in with what she was saying to my friend last night ? .. i dont want to look into this too much obviously as false hope could be a killer .. i just want her to continue to initiate the conversation and me to be friendly whenever that happens ?

[imonlyhuman]

i think so... but try to be very limited. friendly, but oh, i gotta go somewhere and do something with whoever. let's chat another time. (an invitation for her) and then wait again. don't be there for her as much as she'd like you to be. she lost the privilege of that. and she doesn't get that back unless she wants to make an effort to reconcile, or you're truly over her and can be just friends. good luck.

[tobias13]

i think so... but try to be very limited. friendly, but oh, i gotta go somewhere and do something with whoever. let's chat another time. (an invitation for her) and then wait again. don't be there for her as much as she'd like you to be. she lost the privilege of that. and she doesn't get that back unless she wants to make an effort to reconcile, or you're truly over her and can be just friends. good luck.

 

thanks for the advice ! today i was texting her back every so often .. i feel she is feeling me out a bit here .. from now on i will be fairly limited and stuff .. i have my feet firmly on the ground with this one .. i ended the conversation a while ago with a friendly message and i will only talk to her again when she reaches back out to me...

 

she has said weeks ago she doesnt want anyone else to have me and stuff ! its just soo confusing because she caused this situation !

 

i do love her still and im starting to believe she can sense me slipping away from her as i havent been there with her ! i hope this is a positive sign in my road to reconciliation even if it is a small one .. because today was the best conversation we have had since we broke up !

 

if i ever write stuff and start waffling off in a fantasy land of her coming back to me please let me know ! i do just let my mind wander sometimes haha !

 

i want her back and i feel that although nothing is certain i have a fairly reasonable chance of us reconciling at somepoint ?! thats just me and my self belief ! but until that day im still trying to move on and feel im in a much better place with every day i get though

[bizzle]

Sounds a bit similar to my situation which I just posted about, how she doesn't want anyone else to have you, misses you etc etc, but I'm just not yet at the stage where the texts are about things not about the break up, hence why I'm still not replying.

 

But if you've got to the stage where you're being yourself again, that's important isn't it? It looks like the pride issues and control issues normally going on in no contact phases isn't there because you're not speaking normally again, but we never really no with these things. If I was where you're at I guess just don't jump, and don't rush...