I am UBER CONFUSED, please help me out???

[Confusedpesron]

Hey forum..first time posting I really feel like I need advice on this one, because I'm really stuck on what to do and confused about this guy!

 

Alright, so I met this guy at work around 2 months ago, and we also realized we had a class together! He added me on fb after meeting, so I msg'd him and we had a friendly conversation...anyway we had a few more friendly conversations and ended up hanging out twice...looking back I realized I started most of the conversations, and initiated both hangouts..he said he was shy so I felt like it was better to do that than wait around, and he seemed like he enjoyed hanging out with me as well as talking to me...he said he thought I was cool, and both times said we should hang out again...then I decided to hold off on txting him for a bit to see if he'd text me first...he didn't. So I texted him again and asked him if he wanted to hang out, he said he definitely did. The thing is, we'd already hung out at my house, so I kinda suggested we hang out at his house, he said that'd be cool except that his family would probably be in the same room as us. I told him I was cool with that though. Then he texted me the day we were to hang out and told me his parents said he had to do homework. I was slightly disappointed, but I just said "hey no problem", and he said "we would have to another time!" with enthusiasm, but I assumed it wasn't genuine. So basically after that, I figured he wasn't interested and kind of just didn't initiate conversation, even in class. He basically stopped talking to me too, and started actually avoiding me, in a way..we never even had an argument, or talked about avoiding each other..it just happened. I was really upset, so I decided I'd play it cool, send him a friendly text and pretend we were still on friendly terms. He responded well, and now we're talking again (of course, with me initiating contact). But anyway, I msg'd him on facebook 3 days ago, we had a nice conversation for a couple hours..and then I saw him at work both these last 2 days, and he's been really friendly towards me, we've been talking here and there and he smiled at me anytime he walked by...in person, he initiates contact equally.

 

So again, I'm stuck sitting here wondering what to do...because when I look at this whole thing, I'm just confused. I really like this guy, and I don't know if he feels the same because he never initiates contact with me, and I can't understand why he wouldn't like me. I'm really careful about my actions, I try to be as positive as possible all the time, and above all I try not to be clingy. So of course I would never question him about anything, I just keep everything really lighthearted, and talk about our common interests/funny things. I would never be serious like I am right now to you guys, to him because I don't want to show weakness/him to lose interest!

 

So what should I do? I really want to talk to him again tonight, asking him if he wants to hang out again sometime, but I'm afraid of getting rejected, or him saying yes to be polite, and it's been a month since we hung out. I also don't want to make the mistake of asking him if we can hang at his house, because a couple people told me maybe he's uncomfortable with having me over there so soon...I don't even know how I'd go about asking him though. I want the choice of what we do to be up to him. We've gone to the movies and we've come to my house, and I'd be cool with doing either of those again or something else, as long as I get to hang with him. I also thought maybe a group would be cool to hang out with, like my friend + her boyfriend, and me + him, but I don't know how to go about asking any of this...what should I do! Thanks for the advice, and sorry about the length of this lol : )

[oldenoughtoknow]

Well, if he were a non-shy guy, I'd say he's clearly not into you. But if he's shy, he might be. It sounds like you've hung out quite a bit already, including going to the movies, but he never initiates contact. Even with all of your time together, it's entirely possible for a shy guy to be second guessing himself and not asking you out on a real date because he also fears rejection. It's kind of a shy guy's basic MO. That's why when you stopped initiating, he took it as a rejection and backed off. I think if you're going to have to push and test this if you want something to happen. Do you ever flirt with him? If he's shy, you're not going to scare him away by showing some pursuit - it's the only way some really shy guys ever get a date.