Confused, paranoid, suspicious, HELP

[taco_teddy]

I am new at this whole thing. This might jump around a bit, but I hope you can keep up. Let me give you a rundown of this. Me and my (I don't know what to call her) have been together for almost 4 years. When I first met her, I knew that she was the one for me and the feeling was mutual. After we were together for about 4-5 months I proposed to her and she accepted. Ever since then we have been pretty much attached at the hip. We are both in the military and we are overseas in Italy. About 2 and a half years ago, I met an italian girl. We went out a couple of times and kissed a couple of times. Well, my girl finds out and I cut ties with the other girl. You really don't know how much you love someone until they are gone.

 

Ever since that occurred, our relationship just hasn't been the same (from her standpoint). I have done all that I can to make it up to her. Our relationship was great. We had a beautiful baby boy, we set a date to get married, we were both really excited. We had a plan for the future. We have both been putting money aside to have so when we both get out of the military, we will have some money waiting for us. When we get out, I was going to go back to school and fulfill my destiny of playing professional football. Now that we are about 2-3 months away from getting out, she tells me that she doesn't feel the same way about me and she wants to take some time to find herself and figure out what she wants to do. I have felt as though she has been acting weird for a month or so now. I have just been waiting for her to say something to me about it. I am going to be visiting California for a month or so and she will be out here. Her and the baby are going to come and visit for the holidays. She thinks that this separation hopefully will be good for us. I hope it is..

 

I don't know what to think right now..Ever since she told me that, she has been going out with her girlfriends just about everyday. Staying out until all hours of the night. We haven't had sex in a couple of months. She is showing all the signs of cheating, but she has never given me a reason not to trust her ever... But now I am questioning everything that she does.. I even got caught getting numbers off of her phone and calling them. I am tripping out.. I don't want to push her further away from me. I want to get answers, but I don't want to overwhelm her. She is acting like it isn't affecting her at all.. Thats what hurts the most!!! I don't know what to do and how to handle the whole thing..

[AzurePhoenix]

Hmm..

 

Trust your instincts. My first impression is that your relationship is most likely over. If she is going out often to the wee hours of the morning, my question is why? Why would you go out with your buddies every night until the wee hours?

 

~AzurePhoenix

[taco_teddy]

Thank you for your advice. I am just attempting to give her the space she wants and needs. I am still madly in love with this woman..

[AzurePhoenix]

Good Luck with this Taco_Teddy..

 

I see that you are in a tough spot. I wish there were some magic words or great insight that will help clear things up.. but it looks like you have a good handle on it. You just have to play it out and keep cool.

 

~AzurePhoenix

[vendetta2live]

Man..... I Dont know what to do, I NEED HELP... My name is J. I have this grl who was my b/f for 3 years, evers since i was like 14 .... now she is 16 and im 17, and last august i told her i REALLY liked her..... BAD TIMING, because i introduced her to my BEST FRIEND, who totally caught her eye, and he totally used her i mean BAD used her.... sleepin around and all, the whole nine yards. .... anyway he went away to the marines, and she is still TOTALLY into him, but the problem is, I REALLY REALLY love her, i mean thru so many grls, and all this she is the only one that makes me feel the way i do, and unless you have loved, you jus dont understand.... now im stuck, and here is where i need help, ait seems like she can go with anyone but me, and that she is watin on HJIM,, the problem is he wont go back to her, and she wont move on, and im stuck in love and i dont know hwo to let go..

[Mike_Wazowski]

Well....You think she's cheating eh?

 

The mind of a cheater is always working overtime. Trust me I know. You think that everyone else must be doing the same thing you did.

 

Thats the price we pay for cheating..an over active imagination that never quits......

 

Your girl asks for some time to think, to get her head start and the first thing you think is that she must be knocking the boots with another guy......maybe, maybe not.....

 

Probably not.....but your mind will drive you crazy thinking about it.....I'd just give her the time she needs and let whatever is going to happen, happen!

 

good luck!