Christmas and getting back together

[Mellie]

I once had an ex reconnect in September time (6 months post breakup). We got back together over Christmas.

 

I'm sure there's a spike of people getting back together at Christmas (as well as those breaking up). But when you think about it, what's the one thing the majority of us share over Christmas? Time off. It's physically more of a possibility that you might end up together in the same spot. In the scenario I gave you, we were in an LDR and he came home. You'd probably find more people get together at weekends than on weekdays for the same reason.

 

Sure, that time gives them more opportunity for introspection and nostalgia, possibly - add a little alcohol to the mix as an accellerant. Or it could be party all the way. Christmas is probably the hardest time for most people who have broken up, and more particularly those who've been broken up with. IMO, the worst thing you could do is spend the preceeding 2 months daydreaming about something that may, and in all likelihood, probably will never happen. You're just setting yourself up to have a crappy time.

[SudoMB]

I just wonder if she'll ever take the time for introspection and to let her feelings really surface. She's admitted that she's taken on more responsibilities with her online gaming to make sure she doesn't have to dredge up feelings.

 

Last Christmas was amazing... I finally got up there to visit her family, spent 2 weeks, Christmas, New Years....it gave us a healthy dose of what we were working towards, this long distance relationship, and how we only had to wait until Spring of 2012 for me to move up there..

 

I'm not sure how the holidays will play out this year... we're still in contact, and I'm learning to cut myself off before I get too needy (pushing heavy or relationship stuff), but that's definitely a big concern.

 

Will the memories of last year's Christmas work for, or against what's going on between us.

[DesMoines]

Hm -now this IS a curious theory.

The hopeful little girl in me hopes that there's a lot of truth to it…but the reasonable skeptic woman in me is well….skeptical.

 

My ex and I met in the winter, had most of our beginning relationship-sweetie-lovey stuff happen during the winter, and it definitely holds a lot of positive memories for both of us. He broke up with me in the thick of summer (and even gave the reason of "we don't really like doing the same things in the summer")…and now that the weather is getting much colder, he's been reaching out to me a couple times a week.

How curious, non?

 

I really freaking hope there's a truth to this theory…as it gets colder, my hope grows a little bit.

But, again - it IS just a theory, so I can only take it with a grain of salt.

[lonelyheart2]

Yeah I was hoping that this thread might get people giving us maybe some examples of when this might have happened...no such luck yet only us hopefuls!

[raton44]

My ex had this pattern last year...and we were back together (fully) I would say, by the end of November maybe. Of course, this yo-yo thing may not really be something I should go back to! But, I really do think that this cold weather getting back together makes sense. When the warm months come, people who are wanting freedom look at it as an opportunity. There's more things to do at this time of year! But, when the cold rolls around, that's when they come back. We're all stuck indoors left to our thoughts!

[lonelyheart2]

Welll....I guess with my situation it rests on whether or not he still wants to move to italy after the university year is up.....so even if he does really miss me it would have to be so much so that it would stop him making this move...I know it sounds awful but I'm hoping this economic crisis might stop him we shall see...

[sonypirates]

I've read one story on this site but can't find the link. Basically the girl left the guy and she went to several other guys while they were apart. After a period of NC he sent a "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas" text and she broke down. Said he was the only one to reach out to her and how all the other guys she had basically just used her. I believe that they started to reconcile after this so it wasn't just a boost to her lonely ego at that point. I'll see if I can find it.

[kuteknish]

my birthday is coming up in November.. i'm wondering if i'll get any communication.. even a text.

[JerkBrokeMe]

My parents separated a bazillion years ago right after New Years. My Dad came back sometime after Thanksgiving but before Christmas. Don't know if the holiday season had anything to do with it, but I always suspected it did. Who knows.

 

I've wondered how the upcoming holidays are going to be for my ex a lot lately. Mostly because he hates his family and has always spent the holidays with mine for the previous 9 years. My parents treated him like a son, always gave him expensive gifts. The two of us always went all out with gifts on Christmas. But more than anything it was just that feeling that you get during the holidays. He'll probably just block out his feelings this year like he does about everything else now.

 

I even said something to him about how this is going to be his first Thanksgiving in forever with his family. He said "I'm not spending it with my family." I asked him what he was going to do then and he said "Nothing I guess."

 

Our would have been 10 year anniversary is at the end of this month, on Halloween, and I'm more concerned with handling that right now. Bleh. We had made plans at the beginning of the month to spend it together under the guise of doing Halloween stuff (we never did Halloween stuff, always anniversary things). Yes, we made plans to spend our anniversary together while broken up. After realizing how bananas that is I bowed out of that plan.

[Humbert]

I've no experience with reconciliation in the wintertime (autumn, only), but I do know that three of three of my relationships began, or rather took root around Christmas. Two of three began "officially" circa Valentine's.

 

Summer's always the break-up season, for me and for everyone else I know. (This summer in particular, among us recent university grads, has been the season of heartbreak!)

[BigMac]

I'd have to agree with this pattern and in fact me and my ex both agreed that we are a great winter couple but a rubbish summer couple. We always had out biggest fallings out over the summer and we broke up in mid April coming in to summer.

 

Winter is the time for snuggling up in front of the TV with something good to eat, or going to the movies etc and we're great at that. I'm just not so good at being a very exciting summer boyfriend as thats all I seem to want to do then as well! This is something I am working on.

 

She also spends a lot of time with her friends and work mates in the summer which I know she feels guilty about (even thought she shouldn't) and feels pressure about being in a relationship, rather than being answerable to no-one as her single friends are.

 

I'm also hoping that the winter months might give her a bit of a 'nudge' to start the ball rolling. It won't solve any problems but I certainly don't think it does any harm.