EX's reasons for breaking up seems to be all lies

[disruptors]

Hey everyone, I've posted quite a bit on breakups with their ex's and even though I give advice it is hard to use it for myself!! I cannot stop thinking of my ex, and I am doing my finals now in university and I swear its impossible to study whereas i still try to!!! Its like she is on my mind every second, I think of the things she is doing now or if she thinks of me as much as i do of her???

 

I also wanted to ask you ppl if you think what she is doing is valid. We broke up because she wanted to find herself, enjoy life, grow in ways she's never experienced before, hang out with friends,etc... However, ever since we broke up she hangs around with this guy alot where they both like each other now and he is hoping something will happen. It just bugs me cuz this guy's friends and himself are all drunks, they get drunk and smoke up all the time, so I dont see how she can fit with him, as she was a really good girl, never smoked, drank, or anything. I guess she was isolated from hanging out with alot of friends and going to parties in high school, and maybe cuz he is like this now she wants to see how it is? I dont know? it doesnt make sense? It makes it even harder when friends tell me what the heck is she doing... I swear its only been a month and she seems so different when i see her, the girl that loved me dearly isn't the person i use to know, as i know change is inevitable for some ppl, I guess I dont know if hers is that good.

 

 

Do you ppl think what she is doing is right? I mean we were together 3 years (woulda been APR 29th) but for her to seem like she is moving on so fast makes me so angry and hurt. I know they are only friends now but how long will that be? I dont know what ill do if or when i found out they are going out. She doesnt even call her two other friends to do things anymore!! Cuz she doesnt really have friends to go out with but these 2, so now that she is doing everything with this guy it makes me think how can she do this to me? She also said when we broke up that she isnt looking for another relationship or boyfriend, but wanted to experience things like the dating life. IT JUST DOESNT SEEM like SHE IS DATING THIS GUY!!! They are together each weekend!!!!!!!!She told me she likes him after we broke up but she still loved me and was putting it away in a safe place in her heart!!! and that if we are meant to be we will come back to each other!!!

 

It just sounds like all the reasons she told me in breaking up with me are all lies!!!!! I can't stand her, she emailed me all nice saying good luck on finals, and doesnt she see that I don't want her contact cuz it only makes it worse when she is all smiley and friendly!!! Its like nothing happened!!!I have stopped contact with her as i do not call her or anything.

 

I also talk to a buddy of mine who has been talking to her lately, and she told him she couldnt take our pictures down!!! MY GOD, that only makes me have hope or see that she still loves me. So i guess i was wondering if you ppl really think by her and this guy liking each other really is okay this fast??? The thing that makes it 1000X harder is while we were together she always made me promise her never to leave her for another women!!!!!!!!! HOW IRONIC I Swear i lose it at times cuz of this, but I know there is nothing i can do, It just really sucks to have finals and go through a break up like this... especially how next tues would have been our 3rd year...

 

Thanks ppl..

 

[kaliguy80]

man, i can relate with u on lot of basis....actually i have been thinking the same thing u have been thinking.....me too trying to figure out if the reason she gave me when we broke up was a lie or not........she told me she borke up cuz of her parents....the next day after we borke up she talks to this one guy....then i stopped talking to her for more than a year....a month ago or so i found out that she is going out with the guy she was telling me about the day after we borke up.......y is she going out if her parents don't want her to have a b/f...and y that guy???? so many questions.....i m mad and really hate her for wat she did to me....but i guess, when it comes to her having a relationship i think i moved on.....don't do anything crazy.....if she has changed then maybe it was coming even if she was wiht u or without u......move on bro, its not worth wasting time looking at her and her relationship with that guy.....by doing that u will just hurt urself more.....even i say the same thing but i still wish that she would break up with him and hang out with me.......lol.....like u said, sometimes i give advice but u need the same advice form someone else in order to understand.....move on, don't bother wat she is doing and with whome she is doing whatever she is doing......that should help u move on....alright bro, peace.

[juno]

Yes, man move on. That's the only way to heal. There are no solutions just options. U will never know why she did that. If she didnt tell you the reasons then she was feeling unconfortable with you and was too coward to face the facts. Even if she comes back to you u know she isnt really into you man. Im experiencing the same here and it's fu.... painful. Just bear the pain and time will do the next. Luck.

[charlotte_skye]

I suppose people never really know why someone does something, we cant ead minds this is why we need to trust people.....when you were with this girl for so long there was obvious deep trust between the two of you otherwise you wouldnt have made it for so long, you need to understand that when things happen to us things we dont want to be happening or things we dont understand especially we tend to believe or think of the worst case scnario..sometimes these worst case scenrios arent even relevent to the situation or maybes the worst case scenario you think of you know deep down wouldnt be the kind of thing this person would do and yet we still think thiese things.so remember she was a person that beofre this paranoia you believed and trusted and realize you should still cos she has nevere done anytning to abuse it and just cos your thinkin worst case scenarios doesnt mean shes lied and so you need to know to still trust her and what she said, you dont know if she lied but you have no reason to believe she would so dont believe she did.

when my bofriend broke up with me and saying it was because he had to take up this work opportunity in london i started to think it was maybe he had found someone else maybe he didnt love me etc etc yet one year later guess who came back to me, we kept in touch that whole year and turns out it was just because he had to take up such a wonderufl opportunity.

I sympathize with your ex, i too am in the exact same situation where i am in love witht his guy who is absolutley perfect( lucky me) and yet im to scared to be with him as his gf just yet as i need to do my hting first, after my bad break up with the guy i was just talking about i promised i would live my life before getting involved again. I believe your ex after being young and being with you so long feels she needs the best of both worlds before she can be truly happy...it seems to me even if she was still with you there would be problems as she needs to live her life and she would feel restricted form that being with you, shes doing you a favor by not being with you incase things change while shes on search for herself and also because shes tryin to fullfill her needs so if wether with you or someone else she can giver herself completely. we dont know why but sometiomes we just get urges to do things and we just know even though we may loose soemthing so special we just have to do it, and usualy its so that something special we may loose we can get back after weve done our thing and keep even tighter.

im not sayin this is what shes doing im just sayin its not a lie why she broke up with you, i dont want to give you hope cos even if she was still in love with you and hoped for you to get back together you need to move on incase it isnt what wil happen. live your life , think of htings you would like to do on your own while you can. and this friend of hers sounds liek all the things she isnt and you arnt and maybe thats the appeal..shes searching for herself and for seomthing different shes teaching herself...its all an experience and testing, try not to worry, take one day at a time and make sure you dont loose her as a friend, you will regrte it and loose more then you had to