ex moved to my street, past coming back to haunt me :(

[asthesparrow]

hey ena, long time no see.

i'll get down to the main vent straight away i guess.

i was with someone for 5 years, my first and only relationship. we lived together most of that time. split very very badly around february 2010 so a bit over a year ago. in my head, it is done and dusted, i have dated a lot since and got over the hurt and the scars that were left from him.

 

it was a very emotional and crazy relationship, he was physically abusive and manipulative, and there was a lot of infidelity on both parts. i moved 3,000KM away after the breakup for a year to find peace within myself and to get away from him (run away, literally) because i was a complete mess. we haven't spoken for about 6 months but the last time we did speak was very casual and there was nothing between us anymore, no animosity, nothing.

 

so the other day i'm walking out my front yard and his car pulls up. we chat for a couple minutes, very light conversation, turns out he lives ON MY STREET. so i left the conversation feeling okay about everything but since then, i can't stop thinking about him. i see him almost every day, if not, i see his car (which we built together). it's mostly negative things too. i was feeling good the last month or so (chronic depression) and now i'm slowly inching towards a murky sort of feeling... i haven't left the house for a couple days as i've had no desire to see anyone. this is always a bad sign for me, a sign of looming depression.

 

what should i do? should i talk to him? should i write out a long letter/rant about it all or something?

thanks ena

[indigoblue]

Maybe have a few friends over who know about your dilemma and have them stay the night just for the emotional comfort and even that sense of security. You can always call the police if you think things get out hand or if you don't feel safe. I am surprised that you don't have a restraining order against him.

[rising phoenix]

Just trying to think out of the box a bit here. What about having a block party at your house? Invite all of your friends plus all of your neighbours over ... include your ex. If he comes over, you will have the support of your friends and neighbours if anything were to happen. If he comes over and nothing happens, at the very least he will probably feel very awkward given the presence of your friends, who I assume would know him and not be very welcoming of him, and he would realize he better pay you some respect. And if he doesn't come to the party, then that may provide some closure as it would probably indicate his unwillingness to have you in his life, and his moving to your street was just completely co-incidental.