saw ex for the first time in a lonng time

[drydupfob]

My ex broke up with me on march 13th.....(my 18th birthday) god everytime i think about it, it just gets me so mad/ sad. Anyways, after we broke up we basically did the same things we used to do as a couple for about 3 month... I mean everything..... we were still intiment almost everyday...... She even asked me to prom wihich was a big surprise..... anyways she would always send me mixed singals.... like be all affectionate one moment and like very distant the other..... so finally i couldnt take it anymore and decided to not talk to her..... that was the beginning of summer..... it was really hard for the first couple of days but i eventually got alot better and was having a really good time, even tho i'd think about her sometimes..... the pain was fading......

 

So yesterday i saw her at a place where we usaully hang out at.... she was with one of my old friends..... they were kissing and holding hands...... and once she saw me she quickly stoped and try to cover her face with her hair so i wouldnt recongniz her...... I played it call pretending that I didn't see her........ but it just torn me up inside...... like opening up all the old wounds....... it was terrible..... I just felt like taking a baseball bat to my friend..... and beat him until he's black and blue..... dont worry i didn't.......

 

but i dono it just felt so bad for the rest of the nite like... the pain was coming back...... I really dont know y I feel like this..... cause I thought I was over her.....

 

i think the thing that pisses me off the most is that when we were going out I asked her if she liked that guy, because i sensed signs, but she told me no, not at all..... I dono i just feel alot of anger towards her.... like i wish i would not see her ever again..... like right now I would not be a bit sad if she got in a car accident and died........ I know its a stuipd and immature thought but thats how i feel right now.... I keep telling myself she's not worth my pain, suffering.... but i just dont know..... I feel like she has ruined me.... I get the feeling that I never want to give myself to someone again...... The break up was by far the most painful thing i have ever had to go through....... mostly because I was in the darkest moment in my life..... My Grandpa was dying and my parents were just a mess...... I felt so betrayed when she chose to break up with me on my birthday.... sorta like to have me remember it for the rest of my life......

 

any advise would be helpful.......

O btw.... while doing the No contact.... I tried to better myself like going the gym everyday and reading alot of books..... i mean i feel good about what i have acomplished but I just want some advise of how I should deal with seeing her...... because i felt like i was back to square one.

 

thx for all you guy's help.

nan

[evepm]

Dear drydupfob:

 

My guess is that you're very hurt to have seen her with one of your friends. I'm sure it was quite a shock plus she obviously lied about liking him when you 2 were a couple.

 

Don't feel, as though this is a big set back it's just a shock to your system. Give it a couple of days and I bet you'll feel alot better. I suggest that over the next couple if days you make sure to surround yourself with the people that care about you and go out and have some fun.

 

Take care,

Eve

[steph5154]

Honestly, i went through the same thing yet mine was a little worst i had to deal w. it in skool and see my ex w. sum other girl everyday...so just think of it this way .. it couldve been worst...i know it hurts but what i did was just distract myself as much as i could.. i went out and did fun things w. my friends as much as it may have hurt i wouldnt let it show 2 anyone... i like to write ..so i wrote all my emotions out ..i dunno maybe that could help you also..Dont worry i know its a big shock but you will get over it. You may feel like ur in the slums right now but its gonna get to a point where u wont even remember her, you'll find s/o so much better and you'll 4get u were even w. her or wut u saw... So dont take it so hard on urself...its not the end of the world...remember it could be worst

sincerely,

steph

[drydupfob]

thx guys for the replys, its accually just like what you guys said.... it was more of a shock than anything else.... i went out today to the beach and had a blast.... I still think about it a little bit but I think i'll be ok in the end.

 

thx

[TrueHeart]

Well, as far as seeing her and the pain coming back-- I'm firmly convinced that if she wasn't leading you to believe that things were ok in the beginning, you wouldn't have taken it so hard. What she did was manipulative and vendictive. As far as your friend goes, I'm not sure if he was a good friend or an aquaintance, but something leads me to believe that she hasn't been entirely honest with him either when it came to the relationship with you and her. Her first reaction to seeing you at the hang-out should have been a red flag.

 

The best thing you can do is get out an enjoy things. I'm not used to going out on my own either, but last Saturday, I went out to a bar alone and enjoyed the night singing karaoke--- but I was content being by myself with no one bothering me. Reclaiming your independance is #1 at this point. Once you start to convince your mind again that your independently happy-- the pain will hurt less and less each day... Seems inconceivable, but it does happen.

[drydupfob]

thx for the input trueheart....... I dono, i'v just been thinking about her again lately for some reason.... I had almost gotten over her (OR i thought ) during the summer and was having a really good time with alot of friends. The thing is, ever since i saw her with another guy..... all the old feeling started to come back as they had never left..... I always thought of her as my territory or mine...... I know i dont have any control over it but i just dont really know wat to do now..... I dont want her back or even have anything to do with her after what she has done to hurt me..... but some how i just can't get her out of my head........ I keep thinking about all the things she'd done with me...... and now doing with my friend..... or "friend"

 

god I am just so sick of people taking the easy way out of things....... Is there anyone out there that can truly commite themselfs and try to work through problems.... or are people my age only about fun.....