I just got broken up with and I didn't see it coming.

[Voguester]

My boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me and I'm in shock.

 

We originally met on the internet, hit it off and became great friends. We would talk for hours everyday about everything and I believe we both really loved each other deeply.

We met early this year and I spent time with him in his country, it was the best time of my life and unfortuntaly I'll never forget it.

 

It's funny because I just got my working visa accepted to be able to live and work in his country and I was so ecstatic about it but it would mean that I'd have to wait 6 months to get enough money together to make it happen.

 

He was happy about it too and we would have fun planning what we'd want to do together, he also offered me to live with him when I got there and mentioned marriage a few times.

 

So now we're at this point where he basically says to me that 6 months is a long time and he's going to be busy with work and he can't keep going talking to me with the timezone differences, he says its too hard and he just can't.

 

I'm really upset because I was planning my life around the hope of going to move overseas and share this new life with him.

Instead he just tells me 'I can't, I'm sorry', won't talk about it any further saying it stresses him out and I've ruined his day.

 

It's occurred to me that I think he may have a new girlfriend, I just have that feeling and I wish he would have been upfront and told me that was the case. There's nothing worse that loving someone so much and for them to just turn around and say they don't want anything to do with you anymore.

 

It really hurts and I don't know how to move on from this.

 

I just felt the need to vent and this site has been so good to me and makes me feel better about things.

[meoww]

Oh no, that sounds awful. You'll probably get to the bottom of this in time. Things have a way of doing that, and of course you can always ask around to find out the whole story. I also suspect there is more to the sudden break up than what he is giving you. Just as you were about to move to his country too!

 

If he's being at all honest, he may be worried about the way your relationship would change after being together in the same country for the first time. In my experience, people who prefer long distance relationships are usually up to no good to some degree anyway...

[DylanNotorious]

Ok so out of 3 years, you have only met him one time?

[Voguester]

dylan i dont expect you to understand how i feel about this person. i spent a month with him in person but hours and hours talking on msn everyday for 3 years and it was a really special connection, i will miss him so much. so for you to imply that what i had wasn't real or that it wasn't valid isn't fair at all, it was real to me and a big part of my life.

[DylanNotorious]

I didn't mean to upset you, that wasn't my intention.

[Oneironaut]

Voguester, don't let people try to belittle your feelings for this guy, just because you only met him once, and were long distance. Anyone with any sense of compassion can understand that human emotions do not know distance limitations.

 

Furthermore, as I have said before, 99% of the people posting in the Breaking Up forum are in face-to-face relationships...so that is certainly no guarantee of "happily ever after".

 

In any case, as someone who is also in an long-term LDR, I am very, very sorry to hear this. It hurts, no matter the distance. You have my deepest and most sincere sympathies.

 

Edited to add: If you need to talk or just vent, please feel free to PM me.